Looking for some help/answers/support :(

[@llli*mama2many]

Hi! New member, old mama with a very difficult nurser

Long story but I'll include all the details:
DD born at 5# 15 oz discharged at 5#7 oz - a tiny, little thing

On hindsight I realize that her latch was a bit funky and she wasn't "getting it" all the time. However, in my new mommy stupor I ignored it (figured it was a fluke) and never asked for a LC to come visit at the hospital. First big mistake. The second one was having a sleepy baby ALL the time. Getting tied up with my other kids it wouldn't dawn on me that she hadn't nursed in awhile (2-2 1/2 hours) so she was starving and nursing took so much of her energy that she would mainly sleep throught her meals - even when undressed. She even started sleeping through the night with only one feeding around 3:30AM at about 2 weeks. I had to actively wake her up to get her to feed.

At 2 1/2 weeks "we" ended up in the hospital with hypothermia (body temp was 97 rectal) and some kind of breathing issue which we found to be silent reflux. She was also only 5# 12 oz. Discharge from the hospital she weighed 6# after 48 hours on IV plus nursing.

By 3 weeks the ped (don't get me started on him, yet) said she needed to be supplimented. Truthfully she was SOOOOoooooo scrawny and malnurished looking it was scary so I wan't against supplimenting. What I'm still angry about is how my ped undermined my nursing relationship with my baby by not suggestiing 1) and consult with the LC/nurse in his office and 2) not providing/telling me about an SNS. By the 3rd day my baby was on a nursing strike and it's been a battle ever since. My supply is all over the place since I'm soooo stressed out over this nursing issue, I'm somewhat neglecting my older kids to get back what I've lost with my baby, I've taken fenugreek, lactation support vitamins, marshmellow root, almonds, oatmeal, and am now taking Reglan (trying to get domperidome instead). Not to mention being married to a pump as much as I can (which at times isn't often enough).

She now 14 weeks old, about 8 1/2 lbs, and will only nurse willingly at night and sometimes in the early morning. I find that is I start her off on a bottle her latch is MUCH better that if I just start nursing her. Which makes me think she still has a latch/tongue problem, but I'm not sure how to solve it. I had her checked for tongue-tie and she's fine there. So now I just don't know what to do. Is our nursing relationship hopeless?? What about my supply?? I can pump about 10-12 oz daily (4-5 sessions) but I think I need to give up the pumping for my sanity. I can't get anything done between pumping every 2 -3 hours, feeding her, trying to run and errand or two.

Thanks for reading this. I've cried so much over this that everytime I sniff my 3 y/o asks me if I'm crying again. That is too sad.

[@llli*solatido]

I don't have any specific answers, but I think it's GREAT that you're breastfeeding at all! You are pumping a lot- are you still supplementing with formula or using that milk now? Either way, BF doesn't have to be all or nothing. If your LO is nursing at night she is still getting lots of benefits. It seems like a lot of mamas lose sight of that fact if they have to supplement at all.

Have you considered switching to an SNS now that you know about one? Hopefully some other mamas who have BTDT will chime in with more specific help soon

[@llli*mama2many]

bump

[@llli*mommy2lilah]

bump

[@llli*sixyearplan]

Who checked her for tongue-tie? My DD had TT but the ped insisted she didn't because it wasn't the typical TT and was harder to diagnose. We had weight gain issues and a hard time getting her to nurse until it was FINALLY clipped at three months.

[@llli*mommal]

Hi Mama! I'm sorry you've had such a rough time.

I think there's definitely hope for your nursing relationship with this baby. She's nursing willingly at night, and even during the day if you start her off on the bottle. That makes me think the issue could be a "psychological" one- she just isn't relaxed enough to eat from the breast except when she's sleepy or when you've taken the edge off her hunger with the bottle first.

Do you have a SNS now? What happens if you use it? And have you seen a lactation consultant since the one at the doc's office?

I don't think your milk supply is hopeless, either- but as much as pumping must be sheer torment for you, I'd keep at it. Seriously, religious pumping helps more than all the Reglan/Domperidone/herbs in the world. What sort of pump do you have? If you're using a lighter-duty machine, switching to a rental hospital-grade pump might help.

Here are some links which may be helpful:
Increasing Low Milk Supply
I'm not pumping enough milk. What can I do?
Help - My Baby Won't Nurse!

[@llli*juliet1]

First of all, your doctor for not giving you better advice/guidance.
Secondly, don't feel sad mama. You can still be successful at breastfeeding! It DEFINITELY is possible with determination and persistence.
Try to get a lot of skin-to-skin contact, feed often, keep pumping and have your LO at the breast as much as possible.
The bottle is "easier" for babies because they don't have to work as hard for the milk=weaker latch. Does she get a lot of the areola in her mouth? Maybe there's a LC nearby that you can see? Meetings you could attend?

Don't give up!