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Thread: Off topic sex question

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
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    45

    Red face Off topic sex question

    Sorry if this is TMI, but I don't know where to turn for help!

    I was told that since I was breastfeeding, postpartum sex would be a little painful if I didn't lubricate enough due to lowered estrogen levels. However, I am finding that it actually feels like I've become really tight and the pain level is such that I have to stop (i.e. penetration hurts because I feel tighter than before). I vaginally delivered my DD 3 months ago and did have an episiotomy. My OB said I've healed and everything looked okay.

    Did/does anyone else feel like this? I'm honestly having troubles even getting aroused.. my poor husband!

    I will talk to my OB at my next appointment in a month, but until then, any advice would be appreciated.

    Thanks

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
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    652

    Default Re: Off topic sex question

    I felt like that after having ds. Which I was surprised by seeing as to how I had just delivered a baby. And I didn't have an episiotomy but I did have natural tears that needed stitches. For me it just took time to get everything back to how it was pre baby. I would say around six months I felt like there was no more pain or trouble. Definitely ask your ob just in case there is something else though.
    Ds 9/09 nursed for 20 months

    Dd 12/11 nursing a toddler again

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
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    4,047

    Default Re: Off topic sex question

    I agree with pp.

    Also, sometimes the fear of it being painful creates a mental block and then it's harder to become aroused.
    ~Jenn~


    mother of 2 boys!
    08/14/98~~03/20/08

    Birth: 7lbs 12oz, 1 year: 22lbs 11oz
    until he self-weaned 4 days before his third birthday ... still on occasion ... and happily

    ************************************************** ************************************************** *****************
    People need to understand that when they're deciding between breastmilk and formula, they're not deciding between Coke and Pepsi.... They're choosing between a live, pure substance and a dead substance made with the cheapest oils available. ~Chele Marmet

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Off topic sex question

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*sch.mommy View Post
    I agree with pp.

    Also, sometimes the fear of it being painful creates a mental block and then it's harder to become aroused.
    This was totally me. The fear of what it's going to feel like to you AND him. Plus the fear of baby waking and interrupting.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
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    Default Re: Off topic sex question

    After delivering DD2 this was us too. Almost as if I had lost the elasticity we needed. For us it just took time and patience. Lots of lube, lots of foreplay, going slow and taking it easy. It'll come back.
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!
    and

  6. #6
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    Jun 2006
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    Default Re: Off topic sex question

    But the "Not getting aroused" is often just you associate being aroused with being Wet. And you often don't get wet on your own because of estrogen levels. So DO DO DO try some lube and see if that helps.

    Way too lazy for formula

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    Default Re: Off topic sex question

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*djs.mom View Post
    But the "Not getting aroused" is often just you associate being aroused with being Wet. And you often don't get wet on your own because of estrogen levels. So DO DO DO try some lube and see if that helps.


    If the lube, a glass of wine, and patience don't do the trick, you may want to look into using a topical estrogen cream. That can restore some elasticity and allow you to lubricate naturally. However, use estrogens with caution: even topical use can impact milk supply and restore fertility.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
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    85

    Default Re: Off topic sex question

    I might suggest trying other ways of being intimate that don't involve penetration (mutual masturbation, oral sex, etc.). My DH and I really struggled for the first few months post-partum until we figured out that we could still have great sex without penetration. I found it was much easier to get aroused if I didn't have to worry about painful penetration.
    Married my best friend 07/19/2008
    Proud mama to Harper Anne born 09/10/2010
    and every moment of motherhood

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    45

    Default Re: Off topic sex question

    Thank you all for your quick responses. I've tried the oral route, but it's hard for me to finish if you know what I mean . I will just have to give it time I guess. I was getting worried because I want to have another child in the not too distant future (after I'm done breastfeeding of course) and didn't want that experience to be painful.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    Default Re: Off topic sex question

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*fefe View Post
    I've tried the oral route, but it's hard for me to finish if you know what I mean .
    Sometimes Mama's got to do it for herself, YK? There's nothing sacred about hands-free orgasms. If oral gets you to the waterfall and you push yourself over, and everyone's happy- yay!

    I will just have to give it time I guess.
    Just give it time. By the time your cycle is back I'm betting you'll be back in the saddle. So to speak.

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