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Thread: i guess it's time to wean...

  1. #1
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    Jan 2010
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    Default i guess it's time to wean...

    my DS is 14 mos old and has been a happy nurser almost from day one. but now that he is older, he is easily distracted and sometimes will decide that nursing isn't what he wants to be doing.
    today, we were with my in-laws for a baptism and potluck and i took him to the car around 1:45 to nurse so that when i went to work at 2:30 til 10:30 i wouldn't feel engorged. and he wouldn't nurse. he played with the car buttons and the windows, pushed me away and had no interest in nursing.
    i got home from work around 10:30 and was going to wake him since i'm feeling very full and tender, and my husband said that he's been patient this long, and now it's time to wean him.
    he thinks that there is no reason to keep nursing him since he is eating table foods so well, drinks from a cup just fine, and is generally happy not to nurse unless he is tired or not feeling good.
    the only thing he won't drink is milk, and we keep offering it to him, but he just tosses the cup on the floor. he does eat cheese, yogurt, and other calcium rich foods, and he eats alot of protein and fats (peanut butter, cream cheese, beans, meat ect) but just not milk.
    so i guess what im asking since i didn't have this issue with our daughter (she self weaned at 8 mos and we barely nursed anyways) is how do i go about weaning him? i haven't nursed for 10 hrs, and i expect him to sleep another 6 at least. will i get an infection? i have gone 10 hrs or so without nursing when we've traveled, or slept great and was only slightly engorged. should i just not offer at all? or when he wakes up, nurse as usual? or just give a cup of milk or juice? he's been healthy and happy from day one, and i see no reason to stop nursing, but pressure from hubby, family, friends, work, and sometimes just feeling like it would be so much easier if it were over has given me thoughts on weaning.
    any thoughts would be great. thanks!!
    Wiffey June 30, 2003
    Mommy of DD April 11, 2005
    Mommy of DS Dec. 05, 2009
    We and and too. Learninng how to use cloth diapers. And the only way I can be here is with a sleeping Baby or one thats

  2. #2
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    Sep 2009
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    Default Re: i guess it's time to wean...

    I say if YOU aren't ready to wean then don't. Your ds still likes nursing at times so I don't think its fair to stop just because others say so. I don't know if you've started on molars yet, but from personal experience, I don't think we'd have survived teething without nursing. Breastmilk is still providing your son with lots of great nutrients and antibodies. That said if you are going to wean you want to go about it gradually or you risk clogged ducts and/or mastisis which is no fun.
    Hi, I'm Faith, a Wife, Mom, Stepmom and SAHM
    I married my best friend Rodney on October 17, 2009
    DS1 Andy Born May 11, 2002
    DS2 Ethan Born May 18, 2009 Nursed 2 years 7 months & 2 days
    DSS1 Benjamin Born September 24, 1989

  3. #3
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    Default Re: i guess it's time to wean...

    My first weaned at 14 months. Sounds like the same as yours with her food intake. She got lots of fats and protein from other sources, just not from cow's milk. Neither one of my kids drink milk, which they don't *need* as long as they are getting their nutritional needs met from other sources.

    I am not sure that weaning today is your best option. For several reasons, one being it's not necessary to wean at 14 months (I didn't know anything about extended nursing at that time and would have continued longer had I had the knowledge and support). Another reason is that weaning cold turkey can cause mastitis. How often is he nursing now? That info would be great so we can help.

    also, if you wean right now, I am certain you will have some emotional issues because in your heart you are not prepared. It takes some time to come to terms with it and if you have already nursed for 'the last time' and didn't realize it, you are going to regret it later. Not to mention it will be harder on your son to go cold turkey instead of gradually.

    I cried buckets when my youngest weaned at almost 2 yrs old, and I was prepared. He would go for a day or two without nursing, so I knew he was winding down, and I was ready to wean. But I was still sad.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: i guess it's time to wean...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*2timemama View Post
    my DS is 14 mos old and has been a happy nurser almost from day one. but now that he is older, he is easily distracted and sometimes will decide that nursing isn't what he wants to be doing.
    today, we were with my in-laws for a baptism and potluck and i took him to the car around 1:45 to nurse so that when i went to work at 2:30 til 10:30 i wouldn't feel engorged. and he wouldn't nurse. he played with the car buttons and the windows, pushed me away and had no interest in nursing.
    i got home from work around 10:30 and was going to wake him since i'm feeling very full and tender, and my husband said that he's been patient this long, and now it's time to wean him.
    he thinks that there is no reason to keep nursing him since he is eating table foods so well, drinks from a cup just fine, and is generally happy not to nurse unless he is tired or not feeling good.
    the only thing he won't drink is milk, and we keep offering it to him, but he just tosses the cup on the floor. he does eat cheese, yogurt, and other calcium rich foods, and he eats alot of protein and fats (peanut butter, cream cheese, beans, meat ect) but just not milk.
    so i guess what im asking since i didn't have this issue with our daughter (she self weaned at 8 mos and we barely nursed anyways) is how do i go about weaning him? i haven't nursed for 10 hrs, and i expect him to sleep another 6 at least. will i get an infection? i have gone 10 hrs or so without nursing when we've traveled, or slept great and was only slightly engorged. should i just not offer at all? or when he wakes up, nurse as usual? or just give a cup of milk or juice? he's been healthy and happy from day one, and i see no reason to stop nursing, but pressure from hubby, family, friends, work, and sometimes just feeling like it would be so much easier if it were over has given me thoughts on weaning.
    any thoughts would be great. thanks!!

    I just saw this. Don't let anyone pressure you to wean. it is selfish of them to put their own discomfort ahead of a child's health and needs. Eff em

  5. #5
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    May 2006
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    Default Re: i guess it's time to wean...

    with the PPs. Nursing and weaning is between you and your child. Don't let anyone pressure you into stopping before both you and your LO are ready.

    So what if your baby "only" wants to nurse when tired or not feeling well? Sounds like nursing is still frequently quite useful to you as a mothering tool. Imagine trying to cope with a tired, cranky, or sick baby without using nursing. How does that make your life any easier? How does it make anyone's life easier? If someone pressures you about weaning, you can tell them that the next time your LO is sick or needs a nap, THEY can do the hard work of getting him to feel better or getting him to sleep. Watch how fast they discover the continued utility of breastfeeding!

    A couple useful sources on extended nursing:
    When to Wean
    Extended Breastfeeding's Benefits
    American Academy of Pediatrics policy statement on Breastfeeding and the Use of Human Milk- note #10: "Increased duration of breastfeeding confers significant health and developmental benefits for the child and the mother, especially in delaying return of fertility (thereby promoting optimal intervals between births)...There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer."

    If YOU want to wean, that's another story and we'll totally support you. The key to weaning is to go s.l.o.w.l.y. and drop feedings one at a time. You drop 1 feeding, give it a few days, then drop another. This will allow your supply to decrease without resulting in (much) engorgement, and should allow you to wean without significantly increasing your risk of getting plugged ducts or mastitis.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  6. #6
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    Default Re: i guess it's time to wean...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*shannon75 View Post
    I just saw this. Don't let anyone pressure you to wean. it is selfish of them to put their own discomfort ahead of a child's health and needs. Eff em
    . Doesn't sound like either of you are ready to wean. And the fact that he wont drink whole milk but will drink yours is significant. I think he'd have to get a lot of cheese and yogurt to make up for the amount of milk needed to keep him healthy, though it's probably possible.
    Julia and Maxwell (and Dan and Haddie)
    Maxwell, born January 3, 2010
    A year on Mama's milk and still loving it

  7. #7
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    Jan 2010
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    Default Re: i guess it's time to wean...

    thanks for the support and ideas.
    he usually nurses about 5-6 times a day, depending on what we are doing or how he is feeling. if we are busy in town, he's content to miss a feeding and if he's not feeling good he nurses more.
    he made it to 5 am and when i got up i was pretty engorged, so i decided to nurse him. there was so much more milk than normal that i ended up soaking a shirt, choking him a bit, and he ended up with a tummy ache i think from eating so much so fast. poor guy
    i dont feel ready to wean, and when i point out to my hubby that studies and research prove that BFing longer is better for both mother and baby, he says he doesn't want to argue, but he's getting tired of having to plan trips ect around it, and that he doesn't think it's right for me to be nursing an older baby.
    i myself feel uncomfortable around his mom when i need to nurse DS so i will go into a bedroom, or out to the car so i don't feel like she's judging me. but out in public i have no issues. as long as DS will let me put a blanket over myself, which he sometimes won't, so i go to the car so no one gets a flash.
    i don't see how this is a negative thing for my hubby, since DS will go down for bed without nursing just fine, which is necessary when i'm at work, and i'm the one that gets up in the AM to feed him, and who takes the time during the day to nurse.
    maybe he's just jealous of the time DS is getting with me, and that it means less time for him? thing is, after DS goes to bed, and DD is asleep, i try to do something with DH but he's busy playing computer games. so, i don't know.
    i'm going to keep nursing DS as often as he wants, and any time DH starts in on weaning, i guess i'll just have to ignore him and get more support from you guys. he doesn't care about the health issues or studies and when i mention them he blows them off. when i mention that USA is the only country with an "acceptable" BFing age and that other countries and cultures nurse for years, he says that's because USA has better food, so we don't need to nurse as long. i disagree
    on a happier note: DS has graduated from Cruiser to Walker!! now i'd better get my running shoes on!!
    Wiffey June 30, 2003
    Mommy of DD April 11, 2005
    Mommy of DS Dec. 05, 2009
    We and and too. Learninng how to use cloth diapers. And the only way I can be here is with a sleeping Baby or one thats

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
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    11

    Default Re: i guess it's time to wean...

    oh yeah, i had mastitis and a blocked duck, at different times, this past year.. def. not fun so don't want to do that again
    Wiffey June 30, 2003
    Mommy of DD April 11, 2005
    Mommy of DS Dec. 05, 2009
    We and and too. Learninng how to use cloth diapers. And the only way I can be here is with a sleeping Baby or one thats

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,843

    Default Re: i guess it's time to wean...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*2timemama View Post
    i dont feel ready to wean, and when i point out to my hubby that studies and research prove that BFing longer is better for both mother and baby, he says he doesn't want to argue, but he's getting tired of having to plan trips ect around it, and that he doesn't think it's right for me to be nursing an older baby.
    Then he can start getting up with the baby at night, and he can be the one who gets up with him in the early morning, and he can cope with the fussiness. Watch how fast he realizes just how good he has it!

    i'm going to keep nursing DS as often as he wants, and any time DH starts in on weaning, i guess i'll just have to ignore him and get more support from you guys.
    We'll be happy to provide you all the support you need! And let your DH know that he can get a LLLi account and post questions- we'll tell him what's what!

    when i mention that USA is the only country with an "acceptable" BFing age and that other countries and cultures nurse for years, he says that's because USA has better food, so we don't need to nurse as long.
    indeed. That's a common misconception among people in developed countries- that nursing is ONLY for nutrition, and that the WHO recommendation that nursing proceed for a minimum of 2 years only exists to help starving babies in developing countries. But you know the studies- nursing is not just for nutrition!
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  10. #10
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    May 2010
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    Denver, Co.
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    Default Re: i guess it's time to wean...

    I know it's hard when people are pressuring you. I really do. I know how hard it is not to take in that criticism and think maybe these people are right and it *could* be time to wean?

    I read something that DJ'sMom wrote in the weaning forum awhile back when her son weaned (at 4.5 years). It has stuck with me and has been very powerful to me not just in regard to continuing our nursing relationship but also to refusing to Cry It Out for "sleep training," co-sleeping and other aspects of how I choose to mother my daughter. She said, "...taking care of your needs be more important than societal pressure..."

    It dawned on me, upon reading this and reflecting on it, that in 20 years it may not matter to others how I treated this time with my daughter as a baby. But it will still matter to me and will likely influence HER. I want to look back and know I followed my heart and mothering instincts - rather than caving to societal pressures. I want that for me, and I want that for my daughter.


    Christine
    Baby Girl Born 2/17/10 to her two mommies
    BF from day one. I looked up one day and realized I'm nursing a toddler!

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