Re: Transitions and Weaning???? Long, Sorry!
Hugs to you! 18 months is often a difficult age with one, let alone 2 with your husband not very available. Developmentally they are going through a ton of changes, very busy during the day, and this often leads to more nursing at night. And, it's completely normal to feel touched out by a nursing toddler. It doesn't sound like you have created monsters, it just sounds like you have been doing what you need to in order to get through. When weaning (and it can be a years long process), it is often helpful to focus on one thing that is annoying you the most or you most want to see changed and really focus just on that until you get things worked out. So, either nighttime weaning or new bedtime routine might be what you want to start with. I'll suggest a few books and maybe those can give you a starting point.
Mothering your Nursing Toddler (talks about ages and stages and mother's feelings, too)
How Weaning Happens (short, easy read, gives a good idea about how different the dance of weaning can be)
The No Cry Sleep Solution (lots of ideas, no one plan)
And, know that things often get a little (or a lot) worse before they get better, so if you decide to try something, give it a few days and be patient.
Maybe some mothers of twins can give you some other ideas. If you call a local LLL leader, she might be able to put to in touch with another mom.
DS 1/2006 9 lb. 2 oz. 22 in.
DD 10/2008 8 lb, 2 oz. 20 in.