my beautiful daughter is just over two months old and is currently getting breastmilk and formula, both from a bottle. I've struggled with breastfeeding since week one and have gone back and forth between exclusively pumping and trying to breastfeed, having to supplement the whole time. I felt guilty because she never filled up from nursing, so I would supplement, knowing that each time I gave her formula it affected my supply... I just couldn't seem to get the hang of it. I became obsessive because i wanted to breastfeed exclusively so badly. My baby nursed well on one side, but seemed to pinch my right breast each time, despite many attempts at getting her to latch on correctly. During my last phase of trying to breastfeed, I would nurse and she would fall asleep and i couldn't get her to relatch, or she would nurse for an hour+ and still be hungry. Anyhow, it hasn't been smooth from day one.
I actually starting seeing a therapist a few weeks ago for ppd because of my guilt and perceived failure regarding breastfeeding. At that time I decided to stop breastfeeding and to start pumping exclusively. that was not an easy decision because i felt like a failure and felt guilty giving up. I'm finding that I still yearn to breastfeed and so desperately miss that experience with my baby. Can anyone offer any advice? I would love to give this another shot but have very little confidence.