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Thread: Really want to STOP BF DD!!!!!

  1. #1
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    Feb 2006
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    Default Really want to STOP BF DD!!!!!

    Hello everyone,
    I just heard about your site, thought I'd give it a try.
    My daughter is 18 months old, never had any problems getting her to breastfeed, just getting her to stop seems like h*ll!!!!!! I stay home with her all the time, it's just me so I dont have any one to pass her on to, to take over putting her to sleep. She co-sleeps. I just bought her a crib over the weekend hoping I could get her to sleep in it, yeah right!!! I'm 23 years old, I'd like to go out, during the day or night, but I cant because everytime I leave her with a sitter, a total of 4 times, she has not taken a nap or gone to sleep, so I feel really bad. These past few weeks she's really been getting bad with the waking up and breatfeeding all throughout the night. It's awful, I really am tired of doing it, it's beginning to be the most uncomfortable thing ever!!!!!!!! Also she now has to get caps on her teeth (yeah at 18 months!!!) because her 4 top front teeth are rotten on the backside. The dentist says it's from letting her breastfeed all night. Please help, this is really beginning to become a very unpleasent experience. BTW, she only breastfeeds to go to sleep.
    Last edited by Calle'smom; February 20th, 2006 at 10:41 PM.

  2. #2
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    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: Really want to STOP BF DD!!!!!

    Here's a link. I couldn't do it, but maybe it will be of help to you.
    http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

  3. #3
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    Jan 2006
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    447

    Default Re: Really want to STOP BF DD!!!!!

    I think the dentist might be wrong, since I've heard that breastmilk can't actually rot teeth. Does she have other foods or beverages other than breastmilk or water before bed but after you brush her teeh? How many times a day do you brush her teeth?

    Here are some links on weaning that might help you:
    http://www.askdrsears.com/html/2/T022900.asp
    http://www.askdrsears.com/html/2/T026400.asp
    http://www.lalecheleague.org/FAQ/weanhowto.html
    http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/index.html

    At this point, though, it sounds like weaning might not solve the real problem which seems to be getting her to fall asleep without bf. You could wean and find that she'd barely sleep at all, and that wouldn't be any good either! I have heard great things about the book The No Cry Sleep Solution and I've heard LLL offically recomends it. Maybe your local library would have a copy for you to read.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: Really want to STOP BF DD!!!!!

    The above poster suggested what I would have --

    Breastfeeding isn't an all-or-none kind of deal so perhaps instead of weaning all you really need to do is break the nurse-to-sleep sleep association. The No Cry Sleep Solution can help you w/ that.

    Also, your dentist has given you poor information. Breastfeeding at night is nothing like baby having a bottle at night, which can cause tooth decay. Dentists often like to group the two behaviors together but the real truth of the matter is that no link between night nursing and tooth decay has ever been made. Here's some information for you: Breastfeeding and Dental Health & something not from LLL but it has good information and a whole slew of references -- Is Breastfeeding Linked to Tooth Decay?.

    I hope this helps!

  5. #5
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    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: Really want to STOP BF DD!!!!!

    I nightweaned my first son at 18 months...from what I remember I would let him cuddle but I told him mama's num nums were asleep and he could nurse when the sun came up. I would offer him water. I can't remember how long it took but I don't think it was long...he was old enough to understand.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    290

    Default Re: Really want to STOP BF DD!!!!!

    It sounds like you are frustrated with being 'on call' all the time for feedings. I have been going through similar feelings nursing my 16 mo and remember feeling some of the same frustrations with my son. I think it's normal at this stage. A lot of times we look at them and they seem so big, when they really are still small. This is a good age for separation anxiety to appear, so her problems with being left with a sitter may not be about breastfeeding.

    The link from another poster about nightweaning may be helpful. Be forewarned: nightweaning doesn't automatically equal sleeping through the night! But if this is what it takes for you to be able to enjoy breastfeeding again, then it might be worth considering.

    A book that is a great help to many moms considering weaning is How Weaning Happens by Diane Bengson. It can help you decide if it is the right time for you to wean, which is different for every mother/baby pair. It also has some tips on getting through tough times if continuing is what you decide. Either way, you will come away with a good understanding of the process of weaning.

    Also, sometimes they nurse more at night if they've been too busy during the day, especially at this age. Maybe offering an extra time or two during the day may help. Other reasons for a sudden increase in night nursing is teething, a cold beginning to come on, or just some insecurity experienced during the day that makes her want to reconnect at night.

    The links posted on breastfeeding and dental issues are really worth reading. Many dentists often incorrectly assume breastfeeding at night is the culprit.
    Tanya, LLL Leader and Mama to three wonderful kids

  7. #7
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    Jan 2006
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    Charleston SC
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    Default Re: Really want to STOP BF DD!!!!!

    Just wanted to say that 2 moms in our group also had issues with night nursing and poor teeth?!? You are doing and have done a great job with your dd and should be proud!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    239

    Default Re: Really want to STOP BF DD!!!!!

    The other posters have all given you great information! You are amazing to have done such a good job with breastfeeding and being sensitive to DD nighttime needs. It is perfectly normal to want to get out once in a while to have fun. Have you tried La Leche League, MOPS or other playgroups in your area?
    I don't mean to imply that you don't already have a strong social network. I know when I was young and had my first baby I really didn't know how to find other SAHM to make friends with. I was helped a lot by some slightly older moms I met who taught me about breastfeeding, gentle guidance, introducing solids and many other things that were a concern to me at the time. My child didn't have any siblings and she really enjoyed visiting with other children. I didn't want to use daycare and didn't have any money for babysitters so having moms that I could make playdates with or leave dd while I did a craft or went grocery shopping was pure heaven.
    This is a really wonderful age for your daughter to begin making friends. When you get to know some other mommies then you can plan times to meet for playdates and eventually swap some childcare so that each of you can have a break.
    Some other ideas are to look for a gym that includes childcare in their fees, mommy & me yoga, dance or gymnastics, a church if you are a person of faith and family members or neighbours. Volunteer work that allows you to bring dd with you is also a way to get out of the house. The library is another place to meet moms and most offer a storytime/puppet/craft hour for toddlers and preschoolers. Even if DD is not quite ready for some of these ideas you can attend and watch a class as a visitor.
    If money is a barrier then you might be able to barter instead. I babysit a few times a month at our local gym in exchange for a free family membership and a small hourly salary. All LLL groups depend on mothers to help and have many satisfying volunteer opportunities. I found that when I volunteered I had a lot more fun with the group and many more opportunities to meet with the other moms. All jobs are mommy sized and only take an hour or two per month. One job I had was taking the toys home each month after the meeting. I would wash them and toss anything that was broken. Easy as pie but it helped to keep our babies and toddlers healthy.

    Another fun thing I have done is to meet other moms at the school bus stop. You don't have to have a school age child to do this. Just put baby in the stroller and walk to the bus stop in the morning. Look for other moms with babies in strollers and introduce yourself. Tell them you are looking for a walking buddy. Most moms welcome a chance to chat and exercise and as long as they are already out of the house they might as well walk home the scenic route.

    Get on the phone and call anyone you know even casually and invite them over to play bonko or cards. Most people won't say no. Don't worry about your house being company ready. Put out some snacks you have on hand and wear a big smile!

    Hope some of these ideas are useful for you. I am much older now but I do remember how hard it was to be a new mommy and how lonely I felt at times. Our communities have changed a lot since I was a child with a SAHM. There used to be lots of moms at home and they would all get together on a regular basis. Now it is not uncommon to be the only SAHM for blocks and blocks.

    momuvseven

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    13

    Default Re: Really want to STOP BF DD!!!!!

    I think this is what I remember (I have a son who was exclusively nursed until 9 months, and even then only ate foods regularly at about 14 months, so I have btdt). Breastmilk itself is not cariogenic -- it doesn't cause decay, but when combined with other foods (especially carbohydrates!) it can and will cause decay. Here is a helpful article which talks about the reasons caries occur in breastfed children (again, it is NOT the breastmilk alone, but when combined with sugars, that can cause decay). http://www.brianpalmerdds.com/bfeed_caries.htm

    Dr. Palmer states sugar is the #1 culprit, but also it is believed that a parent or caregiver can pass the strep mutans bacteria to a baby when sharing a utensil (that is the main culprit in decay). If you have a lot of cavities, chances are you have the s. mutans present, and you can introduce that to your baby.

    I also recommend How Weaning Happens, or The Nursing Mother's Guide to Weaning. Good luck!

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