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Thread: Heartbroken

  1. #21
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    miles from nowhere
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    11,084

    Default Re: Heartbroken

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*iordanna View Post
    I don't even admit to ppl, like my in-laws, that nursing isn't going well. When we're at her house and he gets hungry, I take him into a room as if I'm going to nurse him and bottle feed him. I know that sounds pathetic, but if I took out a bottle in front of them I know they'd all (his parents and sister) want to feed him too. I feel like I should be the only one to feed him...just like you I want to feel needed. Nursing is suppose to be a special bonding time, so I want to be the one to feed him...even if it's with a bottle right now.
    Keep trying mama, any breastmilk he gets is gold. You guys are such supermoms for trying so hard when it gets difficult.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    555

    Default Re: Heartbroken

    @jordanna. I didn't want to be explicit, but she was the LC I contacted. My insurance covers half, but I really can't afford it upfront. I emptied my personal account for the first one, and I don't want to ask my parents for more money as they are already doing so much for me.

    But thanks for your sweet words. I really hope we can both get through this

    @both jodanna and norasmom- I think it's interesting that I get responses after coming home today feeling depressed about it. Gives me hope. I won't even go to any of the cool mom groups around here because I don't want anyone to see me use a bottle, even if it is breastmilk. Everyone here is super into bfing and cloth diapers and stuff and I don't want to get labelled.

    The good news is that he spent some time at the breast- maybe 5 sucks tops? in the laid back position in the tub. And I will be going to a "support group" at a Health Center (though I was told by the LC there I'd probably be the only one there! So free help!). And the hospital grade pump is on its way.

    Just in case, I did make an appt at the Jack Newman Institute in Toronto. I'll be home in Buffalo for spring break, so it's just a couple hours away. This is becoming an international affair!

    Thanks for posting right when I needed it.

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    555

    Default Re: Heartbroken

    Sorry for bumping up a page 4 thread, but I thought I would update.

    I got a prescription for Reglan and started that on Tuesday. I've been taking Goat's Rue for about a week. But I'm still pumping the same amount. I have the Motherlove Special Blend coming in the mail.

    My little boy no longer screams near my breasts, but he doesn't do much else either. I did some position work with an LC, but nothing. Like in the other thread I'm considering craniosacral therapy, but only if health insurance covers it.

    I went to an LLL meeting and she was helping me deal with my feelings. I almost wonder if I should stop hurting myself and be at peace. I'm really sick of being SO DEPRESSED.

    I wish I had answers. Or knew what was the matter. I feel so guilty for having such a sad pregnancy. Even his conception was sad. Now I wonder if any of those things are affecting him. The fact that I spent much of my pregnancy crying because I didn't know what to do.

    If I knew he would go back on eventually, I wouldn't stop trying. But now the trying is hurting alot inside and I'm not sure how healthy it is to be constantly anxious about this.


    *** Sorry I was so sad and depressed. . .I do have some fabulous news! We tried the SNS again last night in the tub, and he nursed! He took about 2 ounces in all so I could tell it was working. Then today he did it again! It all started when I started feeding him in a more snuggly position than advised for bottles. I'm very happy. At the same time, I enjoyed it so that if it happens to be the last time, I don't have a bad memory of it. I also pumped 8 oz yesterday! Idk if I'll do it again today. But there is hope.***
    Last edited by @llli*katia11; February 17th, 2011 at 06:24 PM.

  4. #24

    Default Re: Heartbroken

    Hi,

    I was wondering how are you doing and if you were able to find a solution to your problem. I am going thriough the same thing and was hoping to get help or any suggestions you may have that worked for you. I am desparate to bf my son, be he doesn't latch...

    Thanks

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Northern Cal.
    Posts
    4,984

    Default Re: Heartbroken

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*macc View Post
    Hi,

    I was wondering how are you doing and if you were able to find a solution to your problem. I am going thriough the same thing and was hoping to get help or any suggestions you may have that worked for you. I am desparate to bf my son, be he doesn't latch...

    Thanks
    I would also encourage you to post your own thread, mama, so that other moms who have experience with this will be more likely to give you support and advice.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    555

    Default Re: Heartbroken

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*macc View Post
    Hi,

    I was wondering how are you doing and if you were able to find a solution to your problem. I am going thriough the same thing and was hoping to get help or any suggestions you may have that worked for you. I am desparate to bf my son, be he doesn't latch...

    Thanks
    Hey macc I'm sorry it took me so long to respond, I don't come on much or post much with school now and things fall through the cracks for me. I hope you are getting the help you need. Feel free to PM me too, I cleared my inbox

    I did not end up nursing full time- however, I did manage to nurse a few times a week until he had too many teeth and it was just too painful as he doesn't really remember. I still try and slip it in, but I am coming to terms with that. HOWEVER, I did manage to bring up my supply to fully pump what he needs every single day. We have been formula free for at least 3 months, maybe more. I got a hosptital grade pump, a prescription for domperidone, and used every opportunity I could to pump for just a few minutes. Occasionally I would watch a movie with my guy friend and pump for an hour (not often!!!). Determination is most important- you can do this!!! For the baby, warm baths with him helped alot. I also had a special situation because I am a single student mom and I was by myself in Chicago. I could only do so much. I hope you have gotten some good responses on your thread, and I sure hope this isn't too late!!!! Make a thread we will help you. <3 kait

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    1,293

    Default Re: Heartbroken

    you pumped in front of your guy friend? is he awesome or what?!?!

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    555

    Default Re: Heartbroken

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mtmama View Post
    you pumped in front of your guy friend? is he awesome or what?!?!
    , we were actually long distance watching movies over AIM (perhaps I worded that badly). . . but back when I was pumping every two hours, I used my hand pump in the car as we were driving to an event an hour or so away and I absolutely had to. So I guess I did . But he knew how important it was for me.

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