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Thread: Embarrassed to say this...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
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    Default Embarrassed to say this...

    But the thought of weaning my DD crossed my mind several times this weekend. Because it hurts when she nurses and I'm pretty sure I want her to be weaned before her brother/sister is born (she will be 3yr. 3 mo). She mostly only nurses at night now. I don't even think I have any milk left. She nurses maybe 1x during the day IF she nurses at all during the day. I'm conflicted. I don't want to feel this way as I am fully committed to CLW. If I were to initiate weaning I don't even know how I would do it. I am alone with her at night. I don't know what I'm looking for here, maybe just to express these feelings to someone who understands. Thanks for listening.
    Proud mom of 2:
    DD 5/2008 nursed for 3 years and 3 months.
    DS born 8/2011 nursing like a champ

    Sorry for the short responses...always, always, always NAK or holding a baby

  2. #2
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    Feb 2007
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    Default Re: Embarrassed to say this...

    The first trimester is really hard to keep nursing through. It is super painful.
    I tried weaning DS when I was pregnant and well he's still nursing and he'll be 4 in 3 weeks so obviously it didn't go as planned. But we did cut way down while I was pregnant. I just told him he would only nurse while I sang ABC so many times and then he had to go to sleep. It worked pretty well at cutting us down but he was a lot younger then your DD, so I didn't really push full on weaning. I started out singing three times pretty slowly and got it down to one time through the song and he would unlatch roll over and snuggle into me. Maybe something like that would work for you?

    Don't feel embarrassed for wanting to wean. I freely admit that the thought of nursing another child is one of the reasons I don't want anymore. Granted I've been nursing someone everyday for almost 4 years and two kids for over 2 years, so I'm a little burnt out. But it's ok to know your limits and try to keep yourself happy while still doing what's best for your kids. 3 years is a wonderful gift. If you're done, you're done. Focus on what you have given her.

    Good luck no matter what you decide to do.

    Amy married to my bestfriend since 10/30/04

    Proud SAHM to DS born 2/17/07 and DD born 9/11/08 Both weaned together 11/2011
    Currently milk, peach, peanut and tree nut free. DD has outgrown her wheat, cheese, egg, garlic, and citrus allergies

  3. #3
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    Jun 2009
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    Default Re: Embarrassed to say this...

    Well, you know how it went for me. I think that whatever you decide to do is the right thing for you and your DD. I don't know how you would do it at night either, but it is also ok not to wean. The nighttime sessions were the hardest for me starting in the 2nd trimester... but maybe it will get better for you.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Embarrassed to say this...

    Gosh don't feel embarrassed. I went through this too, and Max is about the same age. I have ended up nursing this whole time, but I will say that starting at about 4 months nursing brought up feeling that I really didn't like and I had major resentful feelings toward my son , I did actually yell and cry two time to leave me along and get off me. I wish. Hadn't done that but it was a major feeling that just overcame me, it's hormones. It did get better in the third trimester and when we instituted more manners for nursing. Now when he asks, I say "ok but when I say stop, you say...". And he answers "done". So I can end the session when I start feeling trapped or uncomfortable.
    Mommy to Maxwell 10-9-07 weaned with love (a party and a remote control monster truck) on his 4th birthday
    My Boy 3-16-10
    And my sweet pea Sam 2-12-11

    Watch Your Language

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Embarrassed to say this...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*sixyearplan View Post
    Well I'm not even pg and I have been struggling off and on the last week with nighttime nursing. It's the nights where she wakes an hour after she has gone to sleep and then won't sleep unless she is latched and I have other people in the family to tend to or things to do that it drives me out of my mind. So, I can understand how being pg it would be hard to nurse at night, especially when it hurts.

    This exactly. I haven't made a decision yet about Lulu, but I nursed K while pregnant with Lu and had to stop halfway through. I just couldn't take the pain or the intense feeling of wanting to shove her off my lap. I feel that way about Lulu now and it makes me so guilty. Especially when she just breaks down and bawls "pwwwease!" when I cut her off at night.

    Mama to my little Diva: Miss K (7/15/06)
    And her little sister: Lulu Pie (3/21/09)

    "Don't toush da mango"
    One-handed typer Extraordinaire!
    My body creates, houses, nurtures and nourishes life. That is awesome.
    Kegel Kop says: TIGHTEN UP!

  6. #6
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    Nov 2008
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    Default Re: Embarrassed to say this...

    Thanks for all of this. I'm really glad that the way I'm feeling is normal. I'm feeling a lot better now. I think I'm going to wait a few months before I try to initiate anything. I don't think we're ready yet. I'm so glad I can talk to people here about this and get these responses because if I said anything IRL I'd get "just cut her off".
    Proud mom of 2:
    DD 5/2008 nursed for 3 years and 3 months.
    DS born 8/2011 nursing like a champ

    Sorry for the short responses...always, always, always NAK or holding a baby

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
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    2,627

    Default Re: Embarrassed to say this...

    Everything I've heard about pregnant nursing makes me think you are totally normal for feeling that way. I'm not pregnant and sometimes I want to tell DD she needs to give me a break, too. Take it day by day and set whatever limits you need to make it work out for you.
    Nursed my sweet daughter 3 years, 3 mos.

  8. #8
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    Nov 2008
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    Default Re: Embarrassed to say this...

    Thanks. I feel like we are starting to make some progress. Last night we both got up to pee and she didn't nurse back to sleep when we got into bed. I noticed that sometimes she will just roll over and go back to sleep and thats a lot of progress.
    Proud mom of 2:
    DD 5/2008 nursed for 3 years and 3 months.
    DS born 8/2011 nursing like a champ

    Sorry for the short responses...always, always, always NAK or holding a baby

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    110

    Default Re: Embarrassed to say this...

    Just to throw in my 2 cents :-)
    I shifted from the ideal of "CLW" over to a Mom&Baby Led Weaning. My son was not the only person involved, and to me it seemed natural that BOTH he and I influenced how the nursing relationship would change and wean over time. You should not feel embarrassed or guilty for wanting to decrease or complete nursing when it hurts all the time!
    I think most of us, as mothers, have some common sense. If we have a 5 month old nursing, we might be motivated to stick it out through pregnancy. But my son is pushing 3 yrs (next month) and this past month he let go of his nursings quite easily so I knew I was not torturing him by encouraging the end. Honestly I think he was as ready to drop it as I was-- I may have been keeping up our nursing schedule just based on routine more than anything. We've been weaned about 2 or 3 weeks now! (p.s. I am 17 weeks preg)

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Embarrassed to say this...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*sleckey View Post
    But my son is pushing 3 yrs (next month) and this past month he let go of his nursings quite easily so I knew I was not torturing him by encouraging the end. Honestly I think he was as ready to drop it as I was-- I may have been keeping up our nursing schedule just based on routine more than anything.
    I nudged DD to wean when I was about 13 wks pg because it just made me agitated. My milk was gone and it was painful and just plain not fun. DD wasn't that interested anyway, and as pp said, I think she was going on with it just because it was our routine. After she missed one nursing (I was out of the house at bedtime so DH put her to bed) she never asked again. It's like she just needed to break the cycle.
    I'm Beth-
    Mama to L (7/14/09) and B (6/27/11).

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