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Thread: Lone Pumper--Help!

  1. #1

    Default Lone Pumper--Help!

    Hi! I am new to this forum (and forums in general) and am a little lost as to how to get started besides lurking. My LO is 11 wks old today and I have been trying to get her to bf for 11 wks. My milk was delayed coming in and she became jaundiced in the hospital, so we started supplementing with an SNS. I got ulcerations on my nipples, mastitis, and a yeast infection, but she has never gotten efficient at nursing despite getting her frenulum clipped and weeks of "suck training" with a speech pathologist. I have been struggling with accepting the bfing relationship as it is--largely one that involves pumping and bottle feeding. She is starting to struggle even against the bottle and I'm afraid she will develop food aversions and feeding issues. At this point, all I really want is for her to grow into a healthy happy baby and to enjoy her feeding experience whatever it is.

    Every time I start to go through the grieving process and let go of the idea of nursing, I get seduced by the idea that she might get better, more efficient--tomorrow, next week, next month. I feel so alone in this struggle because it feels like there is support if I keep struggling with nursing and no support if I decide to EP. Where do I find a local group that supports EPing moms? How do I get started with a group of online EPing moms? Are there any other moms who are struggling or have struggled with my same issues?

  2. #2

    Default Re: Lone Pumper--Help!

    Oh wow, that must be so hard. Does your baby take the breast at all at this point, either with the SNS or without? Have your nipples healed?

    I know we do have some moms here who have EPed. Hopefully they'll chime in. I haven't heard of any support groups specifically for it... There may not be a huge demand, but for those who are doing it, a support group would be incredibly helpful. EPing is kind of the worst of both worlds, and the moms who do it are amazingly determined and dedicated.

    A breastfeeding support group would provide some support, but would probably also be painful if you end up not being able to nurse. The needs of EPing moms are different. I'm wondering if it would be useful to set up an EP forum here...
    Karen
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
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    Default Re: Lone Pumper--Help!

    I didn't EP but did pump very often (8-12 x/day) until dd was 9 months old and then was able to cut back because she finally got over a very long nursing strike. She had milk removal issues, posterior tongue tie and a host of other problems. I also held to the hope that "maybe this will be the week she gets it" and then around 4-5 months old I figured she probably never would get the hang of it but stuck with pumping and offering breastfeeding as well. Now she is almost 18 months old and loves nursing. I am very thankful we didn't give up.

    If you need any encouragement to keep going please ask. It's hard and can be very discouraging at times but the rewards are there, even if it takes awhile.
    Nursed my sweet daughter 3 years, 3 mos.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Lone Pumper--Help!

    " How do I get started with a group of online EPing moms? Are there any other moms who are struggling or have struggled with my same issues? "


    Yes there definitely are! I'm on two forums that have helped me a lot. (I EP for my 6 month old babe w/cleft palate)

    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/EPers -- for exclusive pumpers only

    http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/PumpMoms/ -- for full and part-time pumpers

    I know how challenging pumping can be. The 3-4 month mark was a particularly rough patch for me. But it has become less time consuming, and overall easier the longer I go. Setting small goals can help... one more day, week, month...

    Good luck!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
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    Default Re: Lone Pumper--Help!

    I EPed with my DS1, and it was hard work, and I did feel alone. That's actually the reason I found this forum. I've heard good things about those EP forums, I wished I had known about them when I was pumping. I know what you mean about grieving, sometimes I still feel sad that I didn't get to nurse DS1 because of his tongue-tie. DS2 was born with a tongue tie too, but I have been nursing him for 14 months, and that's so much easier than pumping. It's hard work and you're doing a good job. I started to feel better about it once I got 5-6 months in, by then it was just part of my life.
    Beth

    Exclusively pumped for Lance Oct 07
    Nursed until just before he turned 3 Levi Oct 09

    Do you have extra milk? Consider donating!
    http://www.hmbana.org/:

    "So I was welcomed by the consolations of human milk; but it was not my mother or my nurses who made any decision to fill their breasts, but you who through them gave me infant food, in accordance with your ordinance and the riches which are distributed deep in the natural order." -St Augustine

  6. #6

    Default Re: Lone Pumper--Help!

    I BF my LO until she went on a nursing strike at 4 months, about a month after I went back to work. With the long hours I work sometimes I would go 2 days without nursing her. When I would, she became frustrated and would pull away and push her fists into my breast and scream. I was so sad that she didn't want to nurse anymore and we were both feeling so frustrated. I felt like the bond we had was being broken and our relationship was beginning to suffer from the frustration. Then I realized it wasn't about me and my needs, it was about her and her needs. I thought BM was best for her and it didn't matter what method she used to get it! So I decided to EP and have been doing so for 2 1/2 months now! We are both so happy!

    Try joining the exclusive pumpers community at www.babycenter.com. These ladies are great support and advice!

    Whatever your reason, providing your LO with BM is truly a precious gift and a labor of love! Good luck! Hope this helps!

  7. #7

    Default Re: Lone Pumper--Help!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*LLLKaren View Post
    Does your baby take the breast at all at this point, either with the SNS or without? Have your nipples healed?

    . . . I'm wondering if it would be useful to set up an EP forum here...
    Hi Karen,

    Thanks so much for your feedback. Yes, she still takes the breast sometimes. I don't offer with the SNS because she doesn't do well with it and makes my nipples worse. I still have ulcerations on both, though they are healing slowly.

    I think an EP forum here would be a great idea. Maybe there are more moms out there like me, who would benefit from this community.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    2,552

    Default Re: Lone Pumper--Help!

    I think an EP forum would be great. The only problem I see is that there never have been a ton of EPers on here, but maybe it would attract more to stay.

    I also foresee mothers who are nursing their babies without a lot of problems posting there asking for advice on switching to EPing. I worry about that because since I have that I EPed for my DS1 in my siggy I get PMs sometimes asking me about it because they wanted to switch. I think the Yahoo group requires that you join only if you are EPing because you had to, not because you chose to.

    I don't know if that is a silly fear, but I just worry that some new mothers would see that as a forum and think that it's something they can choose as a viable option rather than trying to work through their nursing problems.
    Beth

    Exclusively pumped for Lance Oct 07
    Nursed until just before he turned 3 Levi Oct 09

    Do you have extra milk? Consider donating!
    http://www.hmbana.org/:

    "So I was welcomed by the consolations of human milk; but it was not my mother or my nurses who made any decision to fill their breasts, but you who through them gave me infant food, in accordance with your ordinance and the riches which are distributed deep in the natural order." -St Augustine

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    intersection of Mommy Guilt and True Bliss
    Posts
    861

    Default Re: Lone Pumper--Help!

    I'm an EP mom. You aren't alone. I'm on my phone right now, so I can't answer in detail, bit can try to answer questions if you like. Welcome to the group!
    Lori
    Mom to daughter (8/17/07) and mom to fraternal twin sons (1/5/10)


    *Mom with chronic health issues, NICU babies, reflux sufferers, multiple food allergies (mom and kids)
    *DD birthweight 5lb, 14oz, now 26lb, 4oz
    *DS1 birthweight 4lb, 6oz, now 19lb
    *DS2 birthweight 4lb, 2oz, now 18lb, 12oz

    **An EXCELLENT speller, unless I have either a child on my lap or I'm using my cell phone!**


    EP MOM FOR 14.5 MONTHS - NOW USING UP MY FROZEN BM SUPPLY!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    177

    Default Re: Lone Pumper--Help!

    I'm a retired EP mom. DD had breast milk up until this past Saturday (14.5 months) and I weaned on Christmas eve.

    Look at this forum too. There are a lot of new ladies starting out EPing recently.

    http://forums.ivillage.com/ivillage/...v-ppexcluspump
    Trying to keep up with a busy 3.5 year old Morgan Alexis born 11/5/09 at 6 lbs 5 oz and proud retired 1 year EP'er!

    Nursing our new addition Jordan Catherine born 10/21/12 at 7 lbs 14 oz.

    Total donated milk so far - 1,368 ounces!

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