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Thread: Weaning a 4 year old?

  1. #61
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    Apr 2007
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    Default Re: Weaning a 4 year old?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mama.p View Post
    Sorry, I was just trying to clarify it. That I am sincerely ready to be done. And that I was wondering if anybody else has had success using a birthday as the finishing point, and if so, how they built up to that final point. I'm just wondering if it would be easier to stop another typical nursing time (I forgot to mention that she does still nurse to sleep on the rare days she naps, so I'm not at all sure how I'd handle that, since I don't know that she'll stay still long enough to fall asleep during the day without it, but she does still need to nap sometimes) before her birthday, or just start talking to her about being done on her birthday, give her an idea of when that is (maybe do some kind of count down for her, like a paper chain or something) and then just let her work it out on her own. It's still over 2 months away, so it's not that short of an amount of time.
    I thought KA had done something like that with Emily at her 5th bday? or was it her 4th?? There might be a thread about it...


    I'm Heather, SAHM to Cooper , born 1/2007
    and Bennett, our precious NICU grad born 8/2009
    and wife to Bill since 10/2003!
    We're young, but we know we can do it!
    Life with the Stevens-blog

    I'm an Ergo Baby Carrier affiliate!

  2. #62
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    Default Re: Weaning a 4 year old?

    I went during the day first, when he was much more agreeable. He completely dropped napping for quite some time but eventually, decided he was sleepy enough to take the occasional nap on his own while watching tv. I was shocked the first time it happened! But I also don't mind if he doesn't nap at all, because he'll get plently of sleep at night.
    To free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves - there lies the great, singular power of self-respect. ~Joan Didion

  3. #63
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    Default Re: Weaning a 4 year old?

    Well, we're creeping up on her birthday. We've been working on preparing her to be done when she's 5, that she'll be a big girl, etc. She says she's ready, but I'm not sure if she really is. Based on how upset she gets if I tell her no when she's tired/sick I'm not sure how we'll deal with that. Plus, when we get busy doing stuff and we skip for a couple days, she gets, well, edgy and stressed out. A little boob time and she's back to herself. I'm wondering if it could be because of me taking Zoloft, or if it's just the lack of BFing/business themselves. Either way, I'm getting kind of nervous about how it's gonna work, a little sad that it'll be over, and scared I'm not going to be strong enough to stick with it if she gets really upset about it. Considering how long we've been discussing this, I feel like I'll lose all credibility with her if I back out. I just really hope it goes well and neither of us struggles with it too much. We've cut back so much over the last few months, but I'm still worried that it'll affect my depression when we actually completely wean, since it has bothered me in the past. It just seems wierd to think that my baby/nursing days are all gonna be behind me now and my "baby" is such a big girl.

  4. #64
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    Default Re: Weaning a 4 year old?


  5. #65
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    Default Re: Weaning a 4 year old?

    boy I wish we were closer so we could just go out and get a cup of coffee together...
    your a wonderful mom! She still needs you if shes weaned just in diffent ways.

  6. #66
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    Default Re: Weaning a 4 year old?

    So tomorrow is her birthday, so it looks like today's the last day. I'm not sure it's going to go well. She doesn't seem quite ready. But we'll see. DH is kind of annoying me though. I told him I want to get her weaned first, and he keeps pushing her about sleeping in her bed alone (I currently sleep in her room with her), and I don't want to push her to do both at the same time. He's gonna get a if he doesn't knock it off. Seriously, we have had several conversations about it at this point, and he just keeps getting DD worked up and upset. Anyway, I digress.

    Not entirely sure how to go about telling DD that today is the last day. Or whether or not I should stick with it if she gets really upset. Any tips or suggestions? BTDT advice would be awesome. I'm so scared she's gonna be a wreck.

  7. #67
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    Default Re: Weaning a 4 year old?

    FWIW, I think she's going to follow your lead to a large degree. If you say, "Hey, remember how we talked about this being the last day you would nurse, etc.? I just wanted to remind you, so you have a chance to say goodbye to nursing however you want to," you give her some notice (but not too much--for us anyway, too much is as bad as not enough; it gives him time to agonize over whatever thing we're doing/not doing), and to give her a firm timeline to work within. She'll probably have some adjusting to do, but if you come across as solid in your decision, she'll get it eventually. Probably not without challenging it, but that's her job.

  8. #68
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    Default Re: Weaning a 4 year old?

    I keep starting to write something here and then stopping. I weaned Lilah when she was only 25 months old and I couldn't stand to nurse anymore pregnant. So she clearly didn't have the same communication skill or memory that a 5 year old has. But what I wanted to say is that we had a day that was the last day. And then the next day she wanted to nurse and I didn't. And the day after that she wanted to nurse and I did - both nights were after work and she was having a tantrum about something. I thought the nursing would fix the tantrum and that I was the reason for the tantrum But I wasn't. And I realized that if I really wanted to wean, that I needed to be firm about it and positive and she would follow my lead. And she did. She was ok and your daughter will be ok.

    I don't know how you are feeling when you are nursing, but I know that I felt like punching Lilah or throwing her across the room every time she nursed. How could she not sense that? At least at some level? So if you're feeling ok about letting it go longer, then certainly let it go longer. But if you're not feeling ok about that, then end it and be positive about it.

    Sorry if I'm not making sense. It's a hard thing to put into words.

  9. #69
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    Default Re: Weaning a 4 year old?

    I weaned Max on his 4th birthday. We hyped it up a lot and discussed things we could do instead (snuggle, etc). It worked for the most part. He still mentions that he will resume nursing on his 5th birthday I confess that he was sick several weeks ago and was telling me he really wanted to nurse...and I let him. But he didnt remember how and . We were both shocked. He was sucking like a straw and telling me there was no more milk. Anyway ever since he's been fine.

    Good luck whatever happens.
    Mommy to Maxwell 10-9-07 weaned with love (a party and a remote control monster truck) on his 4th birthday
    My Boy 3-16-10
    And my sweet pea Sam 2-12-11

    Watch Your Language

  10. #70
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    Default Re: Weaning a 4 year old?

    So I'm going to go ahead and call us weaned. I basically just told them that my babas were tired and not making as much milk. So when either one asked to nurse I just told them the milk was all gone. When they asked if I could put in more I told them I couldn't because I didn't have a baby anymore. I offered to snuggle and hug instead. We've done a lot of sitting in my lap and reading books at the normal times they would nurse. DD is having a harder time with it then DS but she hasn't asked in a week.

    If you're wishy washy you'll just confuse her. If you're serious about being done you have to be done. She'll fight it and try for a week or so to get you to give in, but that's her job as your kid, to test your resolve. But she'll be fine. As long as your fine, so even if you're a mess, show her you're fine and excited about the new phase in your relationship. Oh and stay busy. That really helps too.

    Amy married to my bestfriend since 10/30/04

    Proud SAHM to DS born 2/17/07 and DD born 9/11/08 Both weaned together 11/2011
    Currently milk, peach, peanut and tree nut free. DD has outgrown her wheat, cheese, egg, garlic, and citrus allergies

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