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Thread: Weaning a 4 year old?

  1. #31
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    Default Re: Weaning a 4 year old?

    way to Go Kelly and Grace!! So glad to hear how things are going!


    I'm Heather, SAHM to Cooper , born 1/2007
    and Bennett, our precious NICU grad born 8/2009
    and wife to Bill since 10/2003!
    We're young, but we know we can do it!
    Life with the Stevens-blog

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  2. #32
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    Default Re: Weaning a 4 year old?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*henrys.mama View Post
    Kelly, I am so happy to hear this. I really hope that you guys can keep this up and that you can "stick to your guns". She needs a happy mama and you deserve to be happy and at least feel better. You have done an AWESOME job nursing her for 4 years. Don't feel anything but proud of yourself for making it this far and now for establishing some limits. You have done a great job!
    10000%

    Amy married to my bestfriend since 10/30/04

    Proud SAHM to DS born 2/17/07 and DD born 9/11/08 Both weaned together 11/2011
    Currently milk, peach, peanut and tree nut free. DD has outgrown her wheat, cheese, egg, garlic, and citrus allergies

  3. #33
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    Default Re: Weaning a 4 year old?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mama.p View Post
    Things went pretty well yesterday. No nap (well, she gave up trying and woke me just as I dozed off ) and last night was really hard to stick to my guns, as she begged for about 10 minutes, but then she stopped, and that was that. She was out within 5 minutes. Didn't nurse again this morning (she busted me in the shower when she woke, so she joined me) and no nap again today, just some quiet time on her little princess couch with a movie. I cannot tell you how much better I have felt the last couple of days without having to nurse her for HOURS each day. And she hasn't been asking between naps/bedtimes, so that's nice to not have to deal with tears from that either. And I'm finding that I really enjoy her again, and we have been spending a lot more time just hanging out having a good time. I'm really hoping it keeps up like this. Oh, and I can't wait for MIL to babysit overnight next week!
    That is so awesome Kelly! I'm so happy that things are going well with weaning Grace!
    IRL all my friends call me Buff, Wife to CB since 10/11/2003

    Mom to DD - "MJ" born 9/2007 @ 8lbs 10oz, 21.5" She's 6 years old!
    My journey nursing MJ started HERE, but we got through it and she breastfed 19.5 months, self-weaned on 5/17/09


    Mom to my current nursling, DS - "ME" born 10/2009 @ 10lbs 1oz, 22.25" He's 4 years old! And yup, he's still nursing.

    Ask me about my successful VBAC! Click here for my birth story.



  4. #34
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    Default Re: Weaning a 4 year old?

    Last night went pretty much the same. Nursed in the chair, stories, then into bed, where she was upset and sort of whined/cried that she forgot to tell me she was done (even though I asked her if she was done and reminded her she wouldn't get to nurse after we started stories). A little shorter than the night before though. Then she finally gave up, snuggled up with my arm and passed out. Once she accepts that I'm not gonna cave, she falls asleep pretty fast. Now I just need to figure out what time to do for bedtime, since she seems to be skipping nap pretty consistently. I'm glad to not be up until 11-12 like we are when she naps, but I'm not ready to sleep yet when she is on the days she skips nap, because I'm used to the later bedtime. I've still got several months until I have to worry about her starting school, but I'd like to make it a nice, slow transition, so she's already used to going to sleep and getting up earlier when that day comes. When did my baby get so big?

  5. #35
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    Default Re: Weaning a 4 year old?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mama.p View Post
    Last night went pretty much the same. Nursed in the chair, stories, then into bed, where she was upset and sort of whined/cried that she forgot to tell me she was done (even though I asked her if she was done and reminded her she wouldn't get to nurse after we started stories). A little shorter than the night before though. Then she finally gave up, snuggled up with my arm and passed out. Once she accepts that I'm not gonna cave, she falls asleep pretty fast. Now I just need to figure out what time to do for bedtime, since she seems to be skipping nap pretty consistently. I'm glad to not be up until 11-12 like we are when she naps, but I'm not ready to sleep yet when she is on the days she skips nap, because I'm used to the later bedtime. I've still got several months until I have to worry about her starting school, but I'd like to make it a nice, slow transition, so she's already used to going to sleep and getting up earlier when that day comes. When did my baby get so big?
    The bolded right there is the key. They need to know that you are not going to cave.

    Can you just gradually increase bedtime by about 15 minutes each night or every few nights? Henry rarely naps and most nights, bedtime for both boys starts at 8:00 - 8:15. If they have had a really busy day, we will even start it at 7:30. Henry is usually asleep by 8:30/8:45 (we get into bed around 8/8:15 then do books, and songs, then lights out within probably 20 minutes from getting in bed). Do you stay in bed with her or are you able to sneak out? Just this week, I started leaving the room before he is asleep. He has music that plays for 20 minutes. I told him I will lay in bed with him until the music turned off. If he was still awake, I was still going to get up. He was really concerned about me leaving until I went over with him where I was going to be. I asked him where I would be when I left his room and he honestly had no idea where I was going to be. Once I told him that I would be on the couch watching tv and that I wouldn't get in my car and leave or go outside on a walk, he was fine with me leaving his room.

    Hi, I'm Allison

    Mama to Henry Carl 12/28/06

    7lbs, 15 oz, 20.5 in
    Breastfed for 20 months!

    Mama to Ryan Thomas 11/20/08
    8lbs, 7 oz, 21 in
    Breastfed for 30 months!
    Mama to angel 4/03, Mama to angel 12/05


    Feb TBTTW 33.1/70

  6. #36
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    Default Re: Weaning a 4 year old?

    So after nursing Thursday night, DD didn't nurse again until Saturday morning (she's slept in DH's room the last 2 nights since he's on vacation) and now she hasn't nursed since then. Apparently this morning she jumped up, I heard her sneak into her/our room, grabbed a dress, then disappeared. DH asked her if she'd nursed and she said that no, she didn't want to. I'm just wondering if setting stricter limits is going to cause her to just wean altogether now. I actually got kinda panicky about it Friday night. I don't know if it was from a hormone shift or just guilt because I didn't mean to push her that hard, that fast. She seems to be having a blast with DH being home, but she has had some serious screaming fits over little stuff, so I'm not sure if that's because she's still adjusting to it, or if it's normal stuff and I'm overdramatizing it out of guilt. But, at the same time, it feels so freeing to not spend so much time nursing. I realized the other day that if this keeps up, I can go buy some regular bras finally. For someone who's been fighting growing up and wanting to be a little baby all the time, she has suddenly embraced being a big girl with remarkable ferocity.

  7. #37
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    Default Re: Weaning a 4 year old?

    Well, now that MIL is gone and things are sort of returning to normal, DD is kind of wanting to nurse at all the normal times again. Not sure how I'll handle that. But right now I'm just really irritated with myself. She keeps begging to nurse in bed at night, and I've been telling her no, but last night she was so tired she was dozing off while nursing in the chair, so I caved and moved to the bed so I wouldn't have to sit there forever, then try to move her without waking her, etc. Well, just as she fell asleep good, she chomped down on my boob, and even screaming in pain and hollering at her to let go did not actually wake her up. She just kinda let go and rolled over, without opening her eyes or acknowledging it or anything. Now I'm so mad that I caved. Stupid stupid stupid. She's already been horrible about begging at night to nurse in bed, insisting she's not ready to fall asleep without nursing, that it scares her, etc. Now she'll probably just fight even harder, or just try to fall asleep nursing in the chair. She is so stinking persistent about this, and I feel for her, because I hate to force her to get rid of something she obviously feels so strongly that she is not ready to do, but at the same time, I'd like my nipple to stay ON my boob. So frustrating.

  8. #38
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    Default Re: Weaning a 4 year old?

    She is STILL getting upset and crying and begging to nurse in bed at night. But I have been letting her nurse down for naptime, since she's been wanting to take them again, so maybe that's it. Other than her chomping down on my nipple, it was much easier when I could just nurse her to sleep. Now it's a huge production getting her to sleep, with tears and drama, and I'm getting really annoyed with it. Before she would just go happily to bed when I told her it was time. I sometimes wonder if I should just go buy her another pacifier. Then she could suck to sleep (she won't suck her thumb) and not chew me to bits in the process. But then common sense returns and I realize why it's a bad idea, but it is just so tempting when we're in bed "arguing" about nursing in bed. I don't even feed into it, so I don't know why she won't let it go. I tell her once "no", then roll over to go to sleep. She doesn't want to be held, sang to, etc. So she just begs and cries until she finally gives up and goes to sleep. I feel horrible making her so miserable everynight. I don't know what to do. And DH is useless at bedtime. If I tell him he has to deal with her, he just flops on his bed and lets DD do whatever she wants, while he goes to sleep amidst all the noise and chaos. He apparently thinks "parenting" just means being a warm body in the house with your child, and doesn't require any effort beyond fixing an occasional snack.

  9. #39
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    Default Re: Weaning a 4 year old?

    Ugh, with DD sick right now, I have kind of regressed with this, and the shortened nursing sessions only lasted for a week or so. So she's nursing for like 30-60 minutes each morning and night (trying to get her to shorten it with songs, etc. has failed, since she'll just bawl and say she's not ready for me to sing yet, etc. If anything at all, it's shortened them by like 5 minutes here or there.), and also before and after if she takes a nap (about 50% of the time). She's been falling asleep nursing since she's been sick, regardless of where we're at. She has actually been taking 2 naps a day, so I know she's not feeling good. Anyway, I digress. She just chomped me as she fell asleep for nap just now, and it just gets the adrenaline and the anger about it going, even though I know she was asleep and it was obviously not intentional. But I don't know what to do about this. I really NEED her to wean for my sanity's sake. I just can't do it anymore. I know part of my frustration is this horrible flu she has, but even once she's well, it'll still be a struggle. I don't know what to do or have any kind of plan. I've tried the idea of a weaning party - that was a big bust. She lost it completely. I've thought about telling her she can't start school until she weans, or that she has to be weaned by the time preschool starts this fall, or by her birthday (which seems VERY far away right now with it being in November). Part of me just still really wants her to self-wean, especially now that she's older. I don't want her last memories of nursing to be me denying her/weaning her against her will. I think a big part of why I've turned into such a hermit with her lately is because she'll start talking about nursing to whomever, and she's old enough now that I don't really want people to know and have to deal with the flak, but then I don't want to make her feel like it's something she needs to be ashamed of, just because I feel that way sometimes. I know she's told me she'll be done when she's 5, but I'm sure that's just because that still feels so very far away to her, and she'll probably change her mind as it approaches. I know she gets some milk, because I see it on my nipple afterward from time to time, but I was just surprised last night when she threw up because she'd be nursing for almost an hour when she fell asleep, and there was NOTHING resembling milk in her puke. So even though I fantasize about taking something to dry up my milk, now I wonder if it is already anyway, and she just wants the act of nursing more than the milk. Are there ANY resources out there for weaning at this age?

  10. #40
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    Default Re: Weaning a 4 year old?

    awe I would write more but it's realy realy past bedtime and If I don't get sarah down she'll be a bear for school in the am..

    Hang in there. I do think if mom isn't happy its way ok to wean, push them a little bit.

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