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Thread: so close to buying bottles & formula

  1. #1

    Default so close to buying bottles & formula

    I have a two week old son-my first that I'm trying to breastfeed. My older son joined our family through the miracle of adoption, so I never had this chance with him.
    I'm beyond frustrated right now. My son will nurse every 2 hours during the day, but the night time is like an all you can eat buffet. Seriously, he will nurse for 40 minutes, fall asleep then wake up like 20 minutes later acting as if he hasn't eaten in a year. I understand that babies need night time nursing, I get that...but like constantly? I can't do this. I have a 4 year old to take care of too. I mean, he will nurse, fall asleep...I will lay him down and he will wake right back up. He hates his cosleeper and wants to sleep right next to me all night long. My dh went back to work, I cry over everything. I'm a mess. I just feel like a glorified milk truck. I"m this close to throwing in the towel. I knew it could be hard...but hours on end where he wants to be latched on to me constantly? I can't take that. Please someone help!

  2. #2
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    Default Re: so close to buying bottles & formula

    Awww, mama I know how hard it is! Have you considered co-sleeping/bed-sharing with baby? Honestly, if you can figure out side-lying nursing while laying in your bed, it will save you...you can more than likely sleep through a lot of the nursing when the baby gets on a nursing marathon. I know a lot of moms are afraid of putting the baby in your bed, but my sleep philosophy is "do whatever you can to get the most sleep possible." And don't feel bad for putting baby in your bed... they WILL eventually learn to sleep by themselves when they are ready for it, so don't feel like you are ruining your baby or "spoiling" them by letting them sleep with you. It is not possible to spoil a baby this age, and it is their baby instinct to want to be close to you as much as possible, especially at night.
    IRL all my friends call me Buff, Wife to CB since 10/11/2003

    Mom to DD - "MJ" born 9/2007 @ 8lbs 10oz, 21.5" She's 6 years old!
    My journey nursing MJ started HERE, but we got through it and she breastfed 19.5 months, self-weaned on 5/17/09


    Mom to my current nursling, DS - "ME" born 10/2009 @ 10lbs 1oz, 22.25" He's 4 years old! And yup, he's still nursing.

    Ask me about my successful VBAC! Click here for my birth story.



  3. #3
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    Default Re: so close to buying bottles & formula

    Don't give up! 2 weeks is still very young and they eat a lot, even with formula their tummies are tiny. I know this is a hard time but it gets better. Do you have anyone to help with your 4 year old during the day? So you can get some rest.
    Are you swaddling at night? That helped mine stay asleep a little longer. White noise too.
    SAHM to my sweet December baby boy.

  4. #4

    Default Re: so close to buying bottles & formula

    He is sleeping in our bed, but I don't know if I'm not doing it right but the side lying hurts a little or at best I find it uncomfortable enough that I can't sleep through it. And aren't you supposed to switch sides anyways? If I fall asleep, he is only nursing that one side?? Everyone has told me to hang in there...but I feel so isolated right now. I'm crying constantly, and I just don't know if I can do this anymore. I keep seeing that "breast is best", but if I can't bond with my baby because I'm so frustrated? I'm so upset.
    I've been sending my 4 yr. old to daycare until I get straightened out here with the BF and all....which gives me mom guilt that I'm not able to take care of him too while I'm trying to figure this all out. I'm just a mess.
    Everyone keeps telling me to hang in there, that it gets better. I just find it so hard to believe right now. And nobody seems to tell me now to hang in there?? I mean...I can handle nursing him every 2 hrs...but the "we just finished a 40 min. nursing session, only to have him wake right back up after 20 minutes and want another 40 minute deal" that I can't handle. ((

  5. #5
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    Default Re: so close to buying bottles & formula

    awe its way ok to send your older one to day care... LOts of moms have to do that.
    You can do this!

    Are you napping during the day when he naps?

    How many wet diapars would you say he is having in 24 hours?
    2 weeks is prime time for a growth spurt where they have to nurse round the clock!

  6. #6
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    Default Re: so close to buying bottles & formula

    In the beginning they cluster feed at night. You should make your DH take the baby for two hours in the evening before he goes to bed so you can take a nap before midnight. And then expect to up for the marthon feedings. But it's better to be up giving your boob than up warming up and preparing bottles all night. And that is just time you are talking about. Breastmilk is just so much easier on their system and more of it is getting absorbed into their developing brain and organs, your baby deserves your milk.
    And it's all supply and demand. In WILL get easier and you will NEVER be sorry your stuck with it. We promise. But the most important job you have right now is to feed the baby.
    Could you get a teenager or a family friend to come help you in the afternoon with the 4 year old? Take him out for a couple of hours so that you could also lay down once a day before your DH came home WITH the baby? What you need in terms of sleep changes when a baby comes. You need 6-8hours in a 24hour period but it can be broken. Work to get a nap during the day and one after dinner and before midnight. Things will get easier between the 6&8 week point when the tummy is a little bigger. You can do this Mama. You were MADE TO DO THIS.

    Way too lazy for formula

  7. #7
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    Default Re: so close to buying bottles & formula

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*sleepymomma View Post
    He is sleeping in our bed, but I don't know if I'm not doing it right but the side lying hurts a little or at best I find it uncomfortable enough that I can't sleep through it. And aren't you supposed to switch sides anyways? If I fall asleep, he is only nursing that one side??
    I use a LOT of pillows when I nurse side-lying in my bed... I use a body pillow behind me, and run it through my legs to give my hips some support... I also used to use a rolled up blanket or something behind the baby when he was facing me to help him stay on his side. As for switching breasts... you can either roll over and put baby on your other side and duplicate your setup on the other side... OR, you can do what I do... I do switch breasts, without rolling over to my other side... let me see if I can explain it... say I'm laying on my right side, and nurse baby with my right breast (the one closest to the mattress)...when it's time to switch breasts, I just basically roll towards my baby a little, so he can reach my left breast... in doing this, I basically have my right arm under my pillow, and my left arm is up by my face, kinda above baby's head... it's hard to explain, but basically you just kinda roll your body towards your baby more so they can reach your other breast without you having to flip over and adjust all your pillows, etc.

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*sleepymomma View Post
    I've been sending my 4 yr. old to daycare until I get straightened out here with the BF and all....which gives me mom guilt that I'm not able to take care of him too while I'm trying to figure this all out. I'm just a mess.
    Definitely do NOT feel bad about sending your 4 year old to daycare while you are getting adjusted to having a new baby. I did the EXACT same thing, and honestly it was the BEST thing for all of us. My son was born when my daughter was 2 years old, and sending her to daycare allowed my daughter to keep with her same routine, and get LOTS of attention at daycare during the day. And it allowed me to concentrate on healing myself from the birth, and I basically just spent the ENTIRE day on the couch or recliner watching TV and nursing the baby. And don't feel bad about spending less time with your 4 year old right now... it's OK to let someone else pick up the slack and do more of the caregiving for your 4 year old... this time in your life while adjusting to a new baby is so short, that it will be over in a blink and things will start to feel more normal to you.

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*sleepymomma View Post
    Everyone keeps telling me to hang in there, that it gets better. I just find it so hard to believe right now. And nobody seems to tell me now to hang in there?? I mean...I can handle nursing him every 2 hrs...but the "we just finished a 40 min. nursing session, only to have him wake right back up after 20 minutes and want another 40 minute deal" that I can't handle. ((
    I know it's hard, believe me I do! Everyone keeps telling you that it gets better because honestly, it DOES get better, I PROMISE... your baby is still so young yet... remember that he's only 2 weeks old, you and he are both still so new to being together and breastfeeding! Also remember 2 weeks is PRIME time for a growth spurt, and everything you are experiencing is completely NORMAL, including the nursing marathons at night. I know it's hard to hear, but you basically just need to resign yourself to the fact that everything your baby is doing is NORMAL, and your feelings are completely normal too. Your hormones post-birth are still adjusting and could very well be contributing to your feelings of loneliness and sadness. That will get better too, and if it doesn't then you probably want to talk to your doctor about it because you might have a touch of post partum depression or baby blues.

    As for HOW to hang in there... here is what I did... keep sending your older child to daycare or let your husband or mother or someone do more of the caregiving for your older child... spend ALL DAY (or as much as you can) on the couch, just nursing the baby... set yourself up a station with a big bottle of water, some snacks, the TV remote, your cell phone, and just sit and nurse the baby... and if he falls asleep, don't feel like you have to go lay him down in his bed just because he fell asleep... I used to sit and hold my babies while they slept all the time! You could also use a bouncy seat that vibrates if you want to lay him down for a little bit... I know my babies always used to sleep a little better if they were slightly upright in the bouncy seat with the vibrating butt part on.

    I hope this helps mama!
    IRL all my friends call me Buff, Wife to CB since 10/11/2003

    Mom to DD - "MJ" born 9/2007 @ 8lbs 10oz, 21.5" She's 6 years old!
    My journey nursing MJ started HERE, but we got through it and she breastfed 19.5 months, self-weaned on 5/17/09


    Mom to my current nursling, DS - "ME" born 10/2009 @ 10lbs 1oz, 22.25" He's 4 years old! And yup, he's still nursing.

    Ask me about my successful VBAC! Click here for my birth story.



  8. #8
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    Default Re: so close to buying bottles & formula

    And honestly I am really surprised that he is only nursing every two hours during the day. MOST of us spent the first 6 weeks in our PJs on the couch all day every day.
    The way you get through it is you wrap your mind around the fact that you are going to be doing it. You accept it even though it's hard to live through because it's what's best for your child. Your child needs to eat AND needs to be allowed to send the right number of signals to your body for your to make the right amount of milk. Breastfeeding is hard in the beginning. And it can be Overwhelming. The same can be said of both being pregnant and labor. But we got through it for the end result. The same if true here. Your baby deserves optimal nutrition. We all have our eye on the end result. Which is your child healthy and you and he as a dyad enjoying the bonding that we know is already happening and will continue to grow. It's overwhelming to have someone need you this much. We get it. But it's true and it's worth it. We promise. Stick with it. When it's all said and done in terms of time these first weeks are the blink of an eye in terms of time invested in your childs well being. You won't EVER be sorry you stuck it out. We promise. And Women regret throwing in the towel all the time. We see it. We see women struggling to relactate. Hold on Mama. It will get better. Stay Focused. You made it through your pregnancy and delivery. You can live with less sleep. Accept that as truth. You are going to be tired. You are. But the reason is well worth it. And IT WILL GET EASIER.

    Way too lazy for formula

  9. #9
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    Default Re: so close to buying bottles & formula

    Sleepymomma...
    I feel your pain! My son is almost 2 weeks and we are going through the same thing. It definitely helped ME to hear you're going through it too. I am soooo tired. This is my 2nd child. My daughter is 5 and luckily goes to school so I do get time to take quick naps during the day. I keep telling myself that there are tons of other moms up going through the same thing we are, and that seems to help. I don't have any breastfeeding advice per say, but wanted you to know that you are certainly NOT alone in your venture. I know that eventually I will look back and not be able to believe how fast this time has gone. Someone told me once that the days fly by but the hours go so s-l-o-w-l-y and it's so true. So maybe it will help for you to think of me and my marathon eater at night and know that we're doing it too.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: so close to buying bottles & formula

    let everything go but just feeding the baby for the next week.
    Call in thoose favors from your friends.
    When they said if you need anything do call.

    IF I didn't have my mom I would have got a younger teen to come in and help with my 2 year old. Just for a few hours after school so that I could take baby to bed and nurse.

    Have your hubby fix supper and spend time with 4 year old. IT doesn't have to be fancy supper either! Sandwiches and soup are fine.

    one day at a time, one hour at a time if you have to.

    your recovering from birth and you need to take care of your self!

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