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Thread: I hate breastfeeding

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2006

    Default I hate breastfeeding

    The title of the thread probably will give a clue about the extent of my desperation and I find it hard to believe myself since I breastfed my first for 3.5 years and really enjoyed the last 2 years of it but here I said it: I hate breastfeeding (an infant) and I can't wait to get to the breastfeeding a toddler part if I can make it. My daughter is 4 months old and for the last couple of weeks she is driving me crazy. She wants to nurse, she sucks and sucks frantically, pulls pushes pulls pushes, sometimes she stresses me out so much that my milk won't let down but most of the time once the let down happens she lets go and won't drink any of the milk. This goes on for 24 hours! All day and all night. I looked at some of the past posts and decided to weigh her diapers since what a wet diaper is debatable (LLL says 120ml, Dr.Sears says 75ml, Kellymom says 45ml of pee makes a wet diaper!!) and the outcome is not nice: 360-400gr. She gained great until 3 months (she was almost 15 pounds) but we'll see about her weight gain since then next week at her 4 month check-up. I am not optimistic at all since she is not eating. Today for the first time in 4 months she hasn't pooped at all It is not going in and it is not coming out. I went through similar things with my son and the first year was like hell that I don't even remember him as a baby and this will be just like that. At the time an LC told me that every baby is different, guess what every baby is different but not in a good way! My son was way better, he at least nursed fine during the night and I night-nursed him until he was 2 years old just to make sure he gained well. This one is just terrible. She has some reflux so I am wondering if that is bothering her but why will it start after 3 months then? I don't know I'm tired of even asking these questions. I know that I won't give up BF even though I hate it and I know that there is no solution to these (maybe Zantac??) she just has to outgrow it and I have to wait but I am soooooo deeply sad and upset and feel like a failure. I have all this milk in my breasts and I have this baby that is not eating well and I just can't get the milk into her. No questions, I guess I just wanted to rant. we'll see if I'll be able to get to the toddler part this time.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Oh FFS!

    Default Re: I hate breastfeeding

    Have you tried eliminating diary? I'll have to dig up my old thread with Lulu to see when I truly noticed that she was having reactions to what I was eating.

    It is frustrating and we all wish for that ease in nursing. Nothing else to add, just another

    Mama to my little Diva: Miss K (7/15/06)
    And her little sister: Lulu Pie (3/21/09)

    "Don't toush da mango"
    One-handed typer Extraordinaire!
    My body creates, houses, nurtures and nourishes life. That is awesome.
    Kegel Kop says: TIGHTEN UP!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2006

    Default Re: I hate breastfeeding

    I'm so sorry. Wish I had words of wisdom but I don't.
    If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. - Katharine Hepburn

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Where they keep it weird

    Default Re: I hate breastfeeding

    I'm sorry you're not enjoying the experience with your daughter. But if you've don't it once, I know you can do it again. Just hang in there and think about all the wonderful benefits. That's easier said than done when you're in the thick of things but we're always here to help you!
    I am Lea (middle name)
    Mama to Dominic born on 3/23/09
    Wife to G 4/27/07
    We're blessed to have been for 3 years and counting! Proud to with our squirmy worm

    "My home is not a place, it is people."
    -Lois McMaster Bujold

  5. #5

    Default Re: I hate breastfeeding

    To be honest, there are times when I hate it, too. Like the middle of the night or when I'm trying to take a nap, and I have to get up to nurse.

    My DD is almost 7 months old, and she won't take a bottle. Three days ago I actually went somewhere for two hours without her. Sometimes I feel so tied down, I hate breastfeeding, too.

    You're not alone.

    But even though I get tired of it sometimes, I wouldn't give it up for anything until she's ready to wean. (Well, OK, if someone offered me the proverbial million dollars to give it up, yeah, I'd probably take it ).

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Victoria, BC, Canada

    Default Re: I hate breastfeeding

    There's a big growth spurt at 3 months and also some moms find their supply dips at 3 months due to hormonal reasons. All this can make for a fussy baby. Have you thought of trying a galactogogue?

    I"m also wondering if your baby is distractable?

    I totally know what you mean, though about hating breastfeeding. It's something I don't want to give up, but today my DS was driving me nuts with all his antics and I was thinking of weaning him right then and there.
    Canadian mom and breastmilk fan.
    We have 2 beautiful children: Luana who's 9 y/o, had breastmilk for 2 years and is smart as a whip. Lucas who came out kickin', is 4 y/o and continues to enjoy his milkies.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Sunny Florida

    Default Re: I hate breastfeeding

    I've only been breastfeeding for just under 5 weeks now but have had many moments of hating it. For the most part I do love it but it can be very frustrating. I'm having the problem now with my LO fussing and twisting my nipple around when my milk doesnt let down fast enough or often enough - this mainly happens in the evening, which I have been told gets better as my supply gets better. I've thought about giving up several times, especially in the beginning - something that has helped me is I told myself that if I want to quit for 5 days strait then I will - but usually after a day or two of bad times, I'll have a great day and love the bonding and benefits from it - but giving myself that timeline seems to help me get through the rough days (and you could do more or less time). Hope things get better for you! I'm sure you are really doing so great!
    I'm a proud first time mommy , born 10/19/2010 and a wife to an amazing husband

    Birth 10/19/2010: 7lbs 3oz
    3 days old 10/22: 6lbs 6oz
    2 1/2 weeks old 11/05: 6lbs 14oz
    4 weeks old 11/17: 7lbs 15oz
    8 weeks old 12/15: 10lbs
    4 months old 2/28: 14lbs

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2006

    Default Re: I hate breastfeeding

    OK I just wrote a long post and then the forum kicked me out and everything is gone so I am even more frustrated!
    Thanks everyone for all the support. Things are up and down up and down over here. She had her 4 month appointment and the doctor said her weight gain is fine but there is something wrong. Last night I have not slept even for a minute. She sucks and pulls away and then sucks and then pulls away. I don't know if it the exhaustion or what but my milk won't let down although my breasts are about to explode. It was a nightmare. She cries and wants to BF, she practically attacks my breast and then pulls away once the let down happens then when we stop BF she cries and fusses. I try again 15 minutes later, this time she fusses because the let down doesn't happen fast enough and then we go crazy from there. and then after all the effort I manage to BF but she vomits it I will try Zantac if this goes on for another week or so although I hate all medications.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    SW Ohio

    Default Re: I hate breastfeeding

    Mama, I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time! My first LO also had reflux, she was a really fussy nurser and I had a horrible time getting her to latch. But as soon as she latched and my milk let down, she would pull off after like only 5 minutes on the breast! We did try Zantac for about a month, but it didn't seem to help... ended up switching her to Prilosec (generic name Omeprazole) and it helped a lot! Just wanted to say if giving your LO some medicine will help your bfing relationship, give it a try! Honestly, my pedi's attitude was "we can give it a try and see if it helps, it can't hurt her."

    And I totally sympathize with you on typing a whole response and then getting kicked out of the forums! Ugh, it makes me crazy, but it happens all the time! I have made it a habit to "copy" all the text in my response box, before hitting preview post or submit reply, that way if I end up getting kicked out, I can just go back to the thread and "paste" the response right in there, without retyping it.
    IRL all my friends call me Buff, Wife to CB since 10/11/2003

    Mom to DD - "MJ" born 9/2007 @ 8lbs 10oz, 21.5" She's 6 years old!
    My journey nursing MJ started HERE, but we got through it and she breastfed 19.5 months, self-weaned on 5/17/09

    Mom to my current nursling, DS - "ME" born 10/2009 @ 10lbs 1oz, 22.25" He's 4 years old! And yup, he's still nursing.

    Ask me about my successful VBAC! Click here for my birth story.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Northern Cal.

    Default Re: I hate breastfeeding

    Do you have overactive letdown? That can be so hard, when your baby is always pulling off right as your milk lets down. All I can say is, keep it up, it gets so much easier. I didn't really "enjoy" breastfeeding until Joe was over six months old. At that point, he was able to keep up with OALD, and he made cute faces when he saw my boobs, and it got a lot more fun! And then, as your baby gets older, you become less tied down by breastfeeding too - I found the introduction of solids, and the slow weaning off the pump at work, to be really liberating. Hang in there, you're in a rough period now, but I think you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel soon.

    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

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