The title of the thread probably will give a clue about the extent of my desperation and I find it hard to believe myself since I breastfed my first for 3.5 years and really enjoyed the last 2 years of it but here I said it: I hate breastfeeding (an infant) and I can't wait to get to the breastfeeding a toddler part if I can make it. My daughter is 4 months old and for the last couple of weeks she is driving me crazy. She wants to nurse, she sucks and sucks frantically, pulls pushes pulls pushes, sometimes she stresses me out so much that my milk won't let down but most of the time once the let down happens she lets go and won't drink any of the milk. This goes on for 24 hours! All day and all night. I looked at some of the past posts and decided to weigh her diapers since what a wet diaper is debatable (LLL says 120ml, Dr.Sears says 75ml, Kellymom says 45ml of pee makes a wet diaper!!) and the outcome is not nice: 360-400gr. She gained great until 3 months (she was almost 15 pounds) but we'll see about her weight gain since then next week at her 4 month check-up. I am not optimistic at all since she is not eating. Today for the first time in 4 months she hasn't pooped at all It is not going in and it is not coming out. I went through similar things with my son and the first year was like hell that I don't even remember him as a baby and this will be just like that. At the time an LC told me that every baby is different, guess what every baby is different but not in a good way! My son was way better, he at least nursed fine during the night and I night-nursed him until he was 2 years old just to make sure he gained well. This one is just terrible. She has some reflux so I am wondering if that is bothering her but why will it start after 3 months then? I don't know I'm tired of even asking these questions. I know that I won't give up BF even though I hate it and I know that there is no solution to these (maybe Zantac??) she just has to outgrow it and I have to wait but I am soooooo deeply sad and upset and feel like a failure. I have all this milk in my breasts and I have this baby that is not eating well and I just can't get the milk into her. No questions, I guess I just wanted to rant. we'll see if I'll be able to get to the toddler part this time.