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Thread: close to giving up

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
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    32

    Default close to giving up

    LO is 7 weeks now and breastfeeding is still difficult I don't think I can do this anymore. I don't even know when this is going to end. I am so stressed out that I can't even enjoy my bonding time with her since I always think of the next feeding. Every feeding is a battle. I thought it was doing so well but that was only for 1 day. I never got a perfect latch on the left side, sometimes she would latch on the right side but my montgomery gland is irritated that it feels like my breast is being stabbed by a knife everytime she sucks. I really need a break. I went back to pumping for 2 days now, this morning I put her back on my breast and it is still painful so back to pumping again which by the way is also painful but not as bad.

    Hubby is going back to work next week and I don't know how I'll be able to manage. I also have a 4 year old girl who goes to school.

    I am breaking down now as I'm typing.. Glad no one is around to see me.I've been holding it since this morning. They would think I'm crazy for crying over breastfeeding.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
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    SoCal
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    6,467

    Default Re: close to giving up

    it's so hard in the beginning. Have you seen a lactation consultant (preferably an IBCLC) to help with her latch? A good latch will make all the difference. Hang in there, can you describe her latch? Too shallow?
    Mommy to Maxwell 10-9-07 weaned with love (a party and a remote control monster truck) on his 4th birthday
    My Boy 3-16-10
    And my sweet pea Sam 2-12-11

    Watch Your Language

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
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    123

    Default Re: close to giving up

    I'm so sorry it's so difficult We've had a very difficult time too, since LO was about 4 weeks (now 13 weeks). I've thought about giving up. I agree with the PP, see an IBCLC - and a good one. I've seen an IBCLC who misdiagnosed me. Ask around/research to find a good one. Maybe you could start with an LLL meeting? That would help in itself, just for the support.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
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    Northern Cal.
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    Default Re: close to giving up

    Try to find a good IBCLC and get some hands-on help! The pain you describe means something is not right! I'm wondering - have you had your baby checked for tongue tie? That can cause brutal problems with latching, like you desribe. There are other issues that can do this as well - you need help figuring out what is going on here. It's one thing to have a little soreness - that's normal and you have to soldier through - but you do not have to live with this kind of discomfort. I urge you to keep looking, keep asking questions, and try to figure out what's going on here.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
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    32

    Default Re: close to giving up

    I've seen a LC twice already but it did not help much. Her latch is too shallow, she won't open her mouth wider. Her tongue tied was fixed already but I can feel her tongue sitting under my nipples when she sucks and sometimes she would do something to my nipples with her tongue. I also hear clicking sound. She would also pull her head back and pull my breast during feeding. Breasts are tender and nipples are sore for 7 weeks now.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,257

    Default Re: close to giving up

    Oh Mama, I've BTDT and it is NO FUN. If I had to repeat my breastfeeding experience with my first... Gosh, I guess I'd do it but only because I now know that it does get better if you can just hang in there long enough. Which I know is like having someone tell you "Just keep sticking your finger into this electrical socket and eventually you're going to be glad you did."

    So much of what fixes latch problems is time. A tiny baby has a tiny mouth, and it's hard for that mouth to take the big, deep bite of breast that results in a pain-free latch. But babies grow, and their mouths grow. Eventually your LO will grow enough that she'll be able to take a deep bite of breast every single time, and when that happens the pain will end. You have an older child, so you know how fast a newborn transforms into a baby, and then how rapidly that baby turns into a big kid...

    One thing you said really resonates with me. You said that "every feeding is a battle." When my first was a newborn, I felt the same way. It was so painful that I screamed every time she latched on- and I'd thought nursing was going to be this lovely, peaceful, pleasurable thing! I was worried that we wouldn't bond right because nursing was so painful- but in the end I realized that nothing bonds you tighter than going through a battle together.

    You can do it, Mama. We'll do whatever we can to help. What can we say to make you feel better?
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    266

    Default Re: close to giving up

    First of all, if crying over breastfeeding made you crazy - I would have been locked up already, and I'm sure other mommies can agree. If anything - it makes you an even more amazing mother for keeping up despite how hard it is.

    Now that I've gotten that off my chest My LO is now 10 weeks old and we are still trying to figure out the source of pain during breastfeeding. I met with my IBCLC again yesterday (that makes 4 or 5 times) and we confirmed that a few things...but what I wanted to share with you is just one specific thing - clicking during feeding. My LO does this - and it is not because there is a lack of suction, or because his tongue can't come out over his bottom gum - we've deducted that the clicking is him retracting his tongue back in to protect his airway. I have an oversupply, and the flow is pretty fast - so in order for him to not choke, he pulls his tongue back to deflect the milk. (this in turn, causes my nipples to be very sore).

    The IBCLC suggested that I pump for a few minutes before each feeding - just until the flow slows a little bit - this way it's not so daunting for him. Also, she suggested to try to find positions where his head is higher than my breast (such as in a reclined position) that way gravity isn't helping the milkflow.

    I'm not sure if this could be what you're experiencing too. Also, my LO has a shallow latch - and the IBCLC suggested it is probably to clamp down to try to slow the flow...

    You can do this - you've made it this far!! Try setting mini goals for yourself. Ex. "Once I make it to 8 weeks, I'll reassess and decide if it's worth it". Then when you make it to your goal, make another one..etc. That and this forum are what's really stopped me from quitting yet.

    Hang in there mama.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    558

    Default Re: close to giving up

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*inay2 View Post
    LO is 7 weeks now and breastfeeding is still difficult I don't think I can do this anymore. I don't even know when this is going to end. I am so stressed out that I can't even enjoy my bonding time with her since I always think of the next feeding. Every feeding is a battle. I thought it was doing so well but that was only for 1 day. I never got a perfect latch on the left side, sometimes she would latch on the right side but my montgomery gland is irritated that it feels like my breast is being stabbed by a knife everytime she sucks. I really need a break. I went back to pumping for 2 days now, this morning I put her back on my breast and it is still painful so back to pumping again which by the way is also painful but not as bad.

    Hubby is going back to work next week and I don't know how I'll be able to manage. I also have a 4 year old girl who goes to school.

    I am breaking down now as I'm typing.. Glad no one is around to see me.I've been holding it since this morning. They would think I'm crazy for crying over breastfeeding.
    I've BTDT, too. I had a somewhat similar experience when my baby was a newborn. She was also tongue-tied with a retracted chin (don't know if that's the right term for it) and NEVER opened her mouth wide enough. I wasn't in as much pain as you but in our case that (coupled with reflux) led to poor milk removal and weight gain problems. We worked closely with an occupational therapist/IBCLC (a well-respected one in our area ) for several weeks to re-teach baby to latch and suck correctly. During those weeks I had to nurse her around the clock using an SNS AND pump after each feeding AND in between as often as I could. Because of the SNS I couldn't relax during the feedings and as soon as we were done I handed baby off to DH or put her down to pump. Between that and cooking and housework and *trying* to take care of myself (eat, nap, shower) I felt I didn't have ANY time for bonding with baby and I was wondering if it was REALLY worth it what I was trading for BF her... I cried a lot and wondered a lot and many times, exhausted, wished I could just go to bed and wake up finding baby nursing well and my supply back to normal... I am soooo glad now, though, that we stuck with it. It DID get better, with time. I remember having my VERY FIRST enjoyable feeding when she was like 3.5 or 4MO. For one thing, your baby will be growing while you won't so her mouth will eventually be big enough for a good latch to be achieved .

    I wish I remember it after all this time (it's been over a year now) to tell you but our LC had us do some tongue and lip massage/exercises which really helped...

    Hang in there mama!


    First time, SAH mom to my precious daughter born October 2009
    Nursing 27 months and counting... I still love nursing so much and am SAD thinking the end can come anytime now...

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    32

    Default Re: close to giving up

    Thank you all for the support and encouragement. I'm really glad I found this forum. It makes you feel better, may not be physically but emotionally and mentally. I'll try to hold on. I am usually patient but this experience is testing my patience into a higher level.

    BTW, how can you tell if you have OS or OALD?

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    32

    Default Re: close to giving up

    I've been pumping for 2 days and LO is 7 weeks. If I pump longer and she's bottle feeding, will I have a more difficult time to get a good latch from her since they said it is harder to change the latch of an older baby. Is 7 weeks too old to train correct latching? I may continue to pump for a few more days just to see if my nipples will heal otherwise I would have to see a doctor for thrush?

    Any advice?

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