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Thread: Nursing to sleep ONLY!? Daycare soon . . .

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
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    21

    Exclamation Nursing to sleep ONLY!? Daycare soon . . .

    Hello! I am a first time mom and have found thankful comfort here so I appreciate all your advice and comments. My son is now 5 mos old and we are surviving! He has been a tremendously difficult baby so I am generally exhausted all the time. Anyway . . . whenever, not just night, he nurses to sleep. This wouldn't particularly bother me except that in a couple of months I need to return to work (Yes, have to. Didn't plan very well financially and if I go back for 5 mos. to save money then I can stay home for a few years). He has never just drifted off to sleep as I read about some babies doing. I had to do some professional development for two days a couple of weeks ago and he refused to sleep and eat (I did pump - can't get much - that's another whole issue) and was screaming whenever I called . My husband brought him up to me at lunch each day (he is a wonderful husband and daddy) and he would have swollen little eyes and a rash from getting so worked up and hot. He would then eat and fall asleep only to be awakened when put in the car seat thus setting off another fun evening for the hubby until I got home. I believe he would eventually go to sleep after crying continuously for about an hour while I was gone. This has happened even the few evenings I have tried to be away. (He loves to nurse and pacify so I don't get away much if at all) Sooo, my concern is daycare. I know he needs the sleep. Do I just let them deal with it? Will he eventually learn another way? Some have recommended the care seat, which won't work at daycare, but until about a week ago he has HATED his car seat. In fact, I think he has hated everything except boobies until recently. He is a HIGH needs baby with a mommy willing to do anything for him to find comfort and I am so worried about the sleeping.

    Thanks so much for the advice/info.

  2. #2
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    Jul 2006
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    Default Re: Nursing to sleep ONLY!? Daycare soon . . .

    I just got the No Cry Sleep Solution. I have only read the first 30 pages or so, but I can tell you that from what I have read, it sounds like it would help your situation. It can't hurt. I got it on Ebay for less than $5, shipping included. It arrived in less than a week.

    Keep trying with the bottle. My DD sometimes refuses it. We have spoon fed her breastmilk before. Have you tried that? Even when she was crying. Just stick a couple spoonsfuls in los mouth, baby spoons of course, and after lo realizes what it is, you can get enough down them to take the edge off. Or you could try a dropper. The spoon feeding worked way better than I ever imagined though.

    I completely understand a high needs baby and one that hates the car seat. I am embarrassed to admit it, but the only way we get along in the car is Baby Einstein Videos. A friend recommened it, and my son had a portable DVD player. If we are in the car for more than 10 minutes, it gets brought along.

    Good luck. It sounds like you have a great DH. That means a lot.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    1,107

    Default Re: Nursing to sleep ONLY!? Daycare soon . . .

    I am having a similar problem, although my LO hs been at daycare for 2 months. She WILL NOT go to sleep at home without being held or nursed. At daycare, she will fuss for at most 15 minutes and then sleep for 2 hours. At home, she wakes up to 3 times during the night, needing to be nursed back to sleep each time and will not nap for more than 30 minutes. Daddy and I are nearing the end of our ropes. It seems that everyone that we talk to has a baby that has been sleeping through the night for months, so it is nice to hear that someone else has a difficult child.

    At naptime today we put her down and let her cry. She wailed for 1.5 hours with no signs of settling down, so I finally picked her up and rocked her to sleep. I hate to let her cry like that. Just like you I am searching for a solution.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    Default Re: Nursing to sleep ONLY!? Daycare soon . . .

    You will probably be amazed how much your baby will change in two months. DS isn't a high need baby, but he pretty much just wanted to nurse to sleep. Around 6 or 7 months he began to fall asleep if we would read to him and rock (occassionally). Maybe (hopefully) you'll begin to notice some pattern changes before you have to go back to work.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    411

    Default Re: Nursing to sleep ONLY!? Daycare soon . . .

    I just got The No-cry Sleep Solution from the library - I read a lot of good things about it so I wanted to check it out. My DS generally nurses to sleep too, but occasionally can be rocked. Also, if he is tired for a nap, but doesn't want to nurse - I put him in the sling and walk until he falls asleep - it works great!

    The reason I got the book was because sometimes he wakes up TOO early - and of course won't listen to Mommy when I tell him it's not time to get up yet! It sounds like the book will give a lot of options for helping all different babies fall asleep and stay asleep - without letting them cry. I just started reading it so I haven't tried anything yet.
    Jenny
    Mama to Jacob , born 6/11/06
    And his NEW baby brother , born 8/14/08

    , , , cloth diapering

  6. #6
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    Jul 2006
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    Default Re: Nursing to sleep ONLY!? Daycare soon . . .

    At home, she wakes up to 3 times during the night, needing to be nursed back to sleep each time and will not nap for more than 30 minutes. Daddy and I are nearing the end of our ropes. It seems that everyone that we talk to has a baby that has been sleeping through the night for months, so it is nice to hear that someone else has a difficult child.

    At naptime today we put her down and let her cry. She wailed for 1.5 hours with no signs of settling down, so I finally picked her up and rocked her to sleep. I hate to let her cry like that. Just like you I am searching for a solution.
    Alot of people try crying it out. It just doesn't work. You'll find yourself tortured over and over again because any disruption in sleep ( teething, illness, growth spurt) will cause you to have to let them cry it out. I really suggest you getting the No Cry Sleep Solution. If for no other reason than understanding why babies sleep patterns are the way they are and why it's important to not to let them cry it out. Your baby may not cry at Daycare, but you are not at daycare. At home she has learned to trust that when she cries, you will comfort her. And that's ok. It's completely normal for bf babies to wake multiple times at night.

  7. #7
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    Oct 2006
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    Wink Re: Nursing to sleep ONLY!? Daycare soon . . .

    Have you read Dr. Sears' _The Fussy Baby Book_? I'm almost done with it and have been relieved to discover there are other parents out there with high need babies. My little boy, Parker (2.5 mo. old), also will only fall asleep nursing. It got super hard earlier this week because he would thrash around, fighting sleep and take my nipple with him! Caused very sore nipples and frustrated momma!

    So now I'm trying to get him out of the habit of nursing to sleep. We were also co-sleeping. I bought a pack-and-play and the last three nights have nursed him in my glider until he dropped off to sleep, and then put him in the bassinette (in the pack-and-play) to sleep. He wakes himself up and cries and I lift him out and nurse him a little more (when we nurse in the glider, he doesn't thrash around). We do that a few times and then he's asleep for his first 3-4 hour leg of the night.

    I don't know if that would work for you. He does fall asleep in the car seat, and in the stroller or sling so I know he will sleep when he's tired. Have you tried the sling? There's a mall near my house and I take the sling (http://www.zolowear.com I think) and pop him in it. He'll fuss a little initially, but looks around avidly and eventually falls asleep as I'm walking.

    hope some of this helps. I'm right there with you!
    ciao!
    Kristina

    mom to Parker, 2.5 mo.

  8. #8
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    Jul 2006
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    16

    Default Re: Nursing to sleep ONLY!? Daycare soon . . .

    Hello! I, too, had a lot of trouble getting my son to take naps. He did fine at night though. I knew he was so tired but nothing worked to get him to sleep during the day. He most definetly would not just fall asleep like other babies. He has always been very active and alert, and he would never settle down. He's 5 months now, and when he was three months I finally tried making his room as dark as possible. That helped tremendously!! Since then he takes fairly consistent naps and seems much happier. We have a little routine before nap-time, and he seems to know it is time to rest once I turn the lights off and sing "You Are My Sunshine". Maybe this is something everyone tries right away, so it may be of no help, but in my sleep-deprived mind I though that closing the blinds would be enough and as obvious as it seems, it didn't cross my mind that he might need dark. Anyways, just thought I'd throw out what made a HUGE difference for us in case it could help even a little bit.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    2

    Default Re: Nursing to sleep ONLY!? Daycare soon . . .

    Hi, I was going to post separately as I have a question, but when I read the previous posts I saw my question is related as well. My son is 2 months old (and weighs almost 14 lbs.!!!) and we just came from our pediatrician's office for a check-up. I told her that at night (not every night but many nights) he wakes up every 2-3 hours and appears hungry- rooting around, crying, etc- but when I give him my breast he will nurse for 5-8 minutes and then fall asleep- maybe he is not hungry but is nursing to sleep like what the other moms have been saying. She suggested that he is using me as a pacifier and that I should either give him a pacifier or swaddle him in such a way that he can suck on his fist/thumb as he just needs something to suck. What do you guys think about this? I am feeling quite sleep deprived and wouldn't mind trying other things than just to give him my breast if he's not truly hungry.
    He is breastfed exlusively, by the way.
    Thanks in advance for any suggestions....

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    1

    Default Re: Nursing to sleep ONLY!? Daycare soon . . .

    My son is 7 weeks old, 11 lbs., and he too is waking up more frequently at night all of a sudden. (every one and half to two hours) Last night he woke up every 2 hours hungry, but he'd only feed for 10 minutes or so.

    Do you have your baby on a schedule? It seems that I have the most problems at night if I get off my schedule for some reason. For example, if I feed him around 8 p.m., give him bath and then feed again around 11 p.m., he'll stay asleep until around 3 or 4 a.m., feed, and then wake again around 7 a.m. Not bad!

    But last night, I fed him at 8 p.m., then I let him sleep through his 11 p.m. feeding (because he screamed most of the afternoon and was exhausted). Well, he woke at 12:30 a.m. to feed but then woke up every two hours after that. So, tonight, I'm going to wake him up (if he's asleep) at 11 p.m. to feed and see if that helps.

    Also, I've found with both of my children that if they don't get enough sleep during the day, they sleep horribly at night. Children 2 months old should get a total of approx. 15 hours sleep each day. I know my son didn't get enough naps yesterday, so that might have been the problem as well.

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