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Thread: Help!

  1. #1

    Default Help!

    My daughter is 5 days old. Since day one she refuses the breast. I tried so hard even with the help of the nurses and lactation consultant at the hospital. No one could get her to do it. She just screams if I try to make her nurse. I've been feeding her formula after the 2nd day (I'd rather her eat formula than nothing at all). The nurses and lactation consultant at the hospital also tried forcing her to do it, which I think may be part of the problem? It's like she's traumatized by my breasts. She sees that I'm going to have her try and she starts screaming. It's awful. I've been trying the "laid back approach" since I got home, but even them as soon as I put it in her mouth, she starts screaming.

    Any advice? I really want to make this work. It was my #1 goal throughout my pregnancy. I took all the classes, read the books, even went to a couple Le Leche meetings. I don't know what to do at this point. My milk hasn't come in yet (although I can feel it starting today). I've been hoping that once it fully comes in she'll start latching since it'll be easier for her to get food? I feel like I shouldn't fully give up yet. We are practicing every day still. I'll try when she first starts waking up, before she starts crying because she's hungry. First sign I see that she's ready to eat I try enticing her to take MY nipple. But it's still not working. Same thing, screaming and crying until I give her a bottle.

    I'm actually surprised that I'm not completely devastated and depressed about failing. It makes me more sad to see her so upset, honestly.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,139

    Default Re: Help!

    Welcome, and congratulations on the new baby! I'm sorry you've had such a rough time so far. It sounds like you really got terrible "help" from the folks at the hospital- "forcing" the baby to take the breast? Now really!

    So, what can you do? Here's what I would do:
    1. Contact a lactation consultant, preferably an IBCLC. Often the LCs at hospitals are nurses who have taken a short course about breastfeeding. They're not necessarily real professionals.
    2. PUMP. Getting your milk to come in and maintaining a good supply is all about removing milk from the breast at regular intervals. If you don't remove milk, your body will rapidly cease production. If your child continues not to take the breast, I suggest getting your hands on a HOSPITAL-GRADE PUMP with CORRECTLY SIZED BREAST SHIELDS, and pumping for 10 minutes per side every 2 hours during the day and around every 3 at night. Here are some useful inks on pumping: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/p..._decrease.html and http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/ma...pply-pump.html
    3. Follow the tips from this link on getting your baby to the breast: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/...to-breast.html In particular, use the instant reward and skin-to-skin techniques to coax your baby into thinking that the breast is a nice place to be.
    4. Check out these links on how to feed your baby when she's not nursing: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/a...e-feeding.html and http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/bottle-feeding.html There are alternatives to bottles out there, and if you must use a bottle, there are ways to make it more breastfeeding-friendly.
    5. If you're not sleeping with your baby, you may want to start. Many moms find that babies who resist latching during the day will latch on at night, when they are more relaxed.

    Hang in there! We'll do whatever we can to help!
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: Help!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommal View Post
    Welcome, and congratulations on the new baby! I'm sorry you've had such a rough time so far. It sounds like you really got terrible "help" from the folks at the hospital- "forcing" the baby to take the breast? Now really!

    So, what can you do? Here's what I would do:
    1. Contact a lactation consultant, preferably an IBCLC. Often the LCs at hospitals are nurses who have taken a short course about breastfeeding. They're not necessarily real professionals.
    2. PUMP. Getting your milk to come in and maintaining a good supply is all about removing milk from the breast at regular intervals. If you don't remove milk, your body will rapidly cease production. If your child continues not to take the breast, I suggest getting your hands on a HOSPITAL-GRADE PUMP with CORRECTLY SIZED BREAST SHIELDS, and pumping for 10 minutes per side every 2 hours during the day and around every 3 at night. Here are some useful inks on pumping: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/p..._decrease.html and http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/ma...pply-pump.html
    3. Follow the tips from this link on getting your baby to the breast: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/...to-breast.html In particular, use the instant reward and skin-to-skin techniques to coax your baby into thinking that the breast is a nice place to be.
    4. Check out these links on how to feed your baby when she's not nursing: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/a...e-feeding.html and http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/bottle-feeding.html There are alternatives to bottles out there, and if you must use a bottle, there are ways to make it more breastfeeding-friendly.
    5. If you're not sleeping with your baby, you may want to start. Many moms find that babies who resist latching during the day will latch on at night, when they are more relaxed.

    Hang in there! We'll do whatever we can to help!
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    132

    Default Re: Help!

    If you want to breastfeed, you can! I had a very hard time the first couple weeks. The hospital help wasn't very good and I did some formula once we got home and I was soo sad. I also took a class, read the books etc. He would latch and fall asleep or just scream. I pumped my little heart out for a couple days and gave him what I could until I saw my miracle lactation consultant. She got him going in less than 20 minutes. I had to use a shield on one side and got a breastfriend pillow. It wasn't smooth sailing after this but we were nursing and slowly getting rid of bottles. Honestly he didn't seem to like formula anyways. Pumping is definitely an art, make sure you do compressions with it.

    He is one and we are still nursing!

    Oh and I think it helped a lot once my milk came in. I think it was around day 5 or so. I didn't see the LC until he was a week old.
    Last edited by @llli*decbaby; December 22nd, 2010 at 12:04 PM.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Brussels, Belgium
    Posts
    1,302

    Default Re: Help!

    Decbaby, wow, what a great ending!

    OP, you can do it Mommal gave you great advice.
    Katharine
    Be the change you want to see in the world--Mahatma Gandhi
    mid-August DD (2010) & DS (2011 VBAC)
    Ouch! Is it thrush or Raynaud's phenomenon?

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