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Thread: 12.5 mth-mostly refusing-should I give up?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
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    Default 12.5 mth-mostly refusing-should I give up?

    My 12.5 mth old has mostly been refusing to nurse for the last week or so. She had been doing 4 feeds, usually for a total of 10-15 min and had wet diapers. Not much weight gain for the last few mths but she seemed pretty happy and is very active. She is also big at 22.5 lbs. For the last week or so, she has been gradually losing interest, she will still nurse 4 times but its for at most 4-5 min, pretty dry diapers and she seems hungry. She also refuses to take the right side except in the morning. I never thought I would give up but I am feeling like I should, DD1 self-weaned at 27 mths so it is really hard for me to give up so early.

    A bit of background, she has bad reflux and only nursed asleep or while falling asleep from age 2 mths to 10 mths. Then we had a 10 day strike at 10 mths and then she started nursing awake, it was like a miracle and she wanted to nurse for about 2 mths. It has been gradually getting worse, she just doesn't seem to want it. I feel like I have killed myself to get us this far and it still isn't working. I have pumped 4 times a day since she was 2 mths old since feeding asleep wasn't as efficient at keeping up supply. I am still pumping now but it has gotten to be less and less. I feel like I don't respond to the pump teh way I used to. And I am feeling guilty for not feeding her at times when I expect that she will nurse and then her getting very little milk. I feel like she might get more if we just offered her milk and food all day and not wait for her to nurse. Right now, she doesn't eat breakfast so that she can nurse a second time in the morning. And I don't offer food right before nap or bedtime so that she will nurse then. We gave her milk in her straw cup (the only thing she would ever drink from) one evening before bed and she barely nursed at all at bedtime.

    So the real problem with stopping is that she has always taken more milk from me than she will from the cup. Whatever discomfort she has from the reflux (and we have exhausted all medical options for that), it just seems to limit the amount of food/drink that she can take in. For some reason though she has always taken more when nursing, at least we assume anyway. From her cup, the most she drinks is 2 oz. So there is a major risk that we will not be able to get as much milk in with the cup and once she isn't nursing, my supply will get even worse. It would be hard to go back to nursing, if she would even do it.

    I just don't know what to do, its definitely a rock and a hard place. Should I wait it out and see if she goes back to nursing again? Or should we just feed her frequently and hope that it works out, I can still offer at the normal times and see if she takes it? The only other idea that I had was to try a different type of milk (goat or cows milk) and see if she maybe likes it better. I know its not as good for her though and I have tons of frozen milk to feed her for mths.

    Its been such a hard road with her and I cry at the thought of giving up as she is our last child. DD1 just loved to nurse and I miss that closeness like I had with her. She was a nurse-a-holic, still doing 6-7 times a day at 18 mths for 20 or more min at a time. I know now that she was the opposite extreme.

    Sorry for the novel, just a complex problem, I would really appreciate any ideas!

    Aileen
    Mom to Abigail, born May 3rd, 2007 (self-weaned at 27 mths) and Charlotte, born Nov. 24th, 2009. Both reflux babies and EBF. Charlotte weighs 31 lbs at 26 mths.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    Default Re: 12.5 mth-mostly refusing-should I give up?

    I wouldn't give up. But I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself with the pumping- I'd ditch that, offer the breast as much as possible, and take it from there. You can't offer too much, and even if your LO only nurses for a few minutes that's generally enough for her to get a significant amount of milk. And if this is weaning... Well, IMHO so be it. You can't force a kid to love nursing, and you're lucky to have a massive frozen stash to fall back on. Breastmilk from a cup is great, too. And maybe your LO will surprise you and continue to nurse at a low level for a long time- many kids seek comfort at the breast even after they are pretty much done nursing for nutrition.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #3
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    Jul 2007
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    Default Re: 12.5 mth-mostly refusing-should I give up?

    I guess I should have said that I do offer all the time, she only accepts about 4 times, all the others she refuses

    I found that she couldn't get enough without pumping and I want my milk in her cup for as long as possible, so I continue with it. It does stink tho. I really feel like with only 4 times per day of only a few min, the supply would dry up.
    Mom to Abigail, born May 3rd, 2007 (self-weaned at 27 mths) and Charlotte, born Nov. 24th, 2009. Both reflux babies and EBF. Charlotte weighs 31 lbs at 26 mths.

  4. #4
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    Jul 2007
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    Default Re: 12.5 mth-mostly refusing-should I give up?

    Things are still pretty bad here, she is not wetting much. Does anyone have any ideas??
    Mom to Abigail, born May 3rd, 2007 (self-weaned at 27 mths) and Charlotte, born Nov. 24th, 2009. Both reflux babies and EBF. Charlotte weighs 31 lbs at 26 mths.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
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    Default Re: 12.5 mth-mostly refusing-should I give up?

    Maybe its time for a trip to the pediatrician to rule out illness?
    Hi, I'm Faith, a Wife, Mom, Stepmom and SAHM
    I married my best friend Rodney on October 17, 2009
    DS1 Andy Born May 11, 2002
    DS2 Ethan Born May 18, 2009 Nursed 2 years 7 months & 2 days
    DSS1 Benjamin Born September 24, 1989

  6. #6
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    Default Re: 12.5 mth-mostly refusing-should I give up?

    Is she not eating any solids? Is her drinking milk 4 x a day all she is getting?

    Way too lazy for formula

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
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    Default Re: 12.5 mth-mostly refusing-should I give up?

    Ped might be a good idea, I hate taking her there now with all teh colds going around.

    She does eat 2 solids meals, lunch and dinner. She eats veggies, fruit, yogurt, O's, avocado, cheese and sometimes meat. She doesn't love solids, merely tolerates them. We have yet to add breakfast since her first awake period is pretty short and also cause I want her to nurse again when she goes for the morning nap. This feed and her feed when she wakes in the morning are her best. At both meals, she will drink maybe 2 oz of milk in her sippy cup. I don't know why she doesn't pee more, if she nurses for a couple min, she barely pees. But with 10 min feeds, she seems to have plenty of pee.
    Mom to Abigail, born May 3rd, 2007 (self-weaned at 27 mths) and Charlotte, born Nov. 24th, 2009. Both reflux babies and EBF. Charlotte weighs 31 lbs at 26 mths.

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