Hi, I'm new around here, but looking for some desperately needed advice and support. I gave birth to identical twin girls on Nov. 3rd. They were 30weeks, 3 days and it was a very difficult pregnancy with the last month ending in hospital bed rest. My girls spent 6 weeks in the NICU and are finally home. While in the hospital, I began pumping and had a really healthy milk supply for a few weeks (32 oz a day). Then when my twins were transferred to a hospital closer to me, I had to return the hospital pump and my health insurance co. sent me a Medela PIS.
Long story short, I foolishly decreased my pumping sessions because I was running out of places to store the milk. I also simultaneously suffered through many clogged ducts before I realized the PIS just wasn't going to cut it and went back to hospital grade. It took at least another 10 days before I finally got a good pump, but by that time, my milk supply had SEVERLY decreased and I have spent ever since trying to rebuild it with mixed results. It dropped to about 8oz a day, and I started taking Reglan Yogi tea, and marshmallow root which brought it to 12-16oz. I have since then, discontinued the Reglan, as I felt that it was adding to my depression.
Now that the girls are home with me however, I just don't have the time to pump anymore. My supply has dropped to about 2oz a DAY and I'm really depressed. I have 3 other kids, all 3 of which happily nursed for a year with no issues and I was looking forward to doing the same with my twins, but things are just not looking good. The thought of nursing around the clock to increase my supply makes me want to cry more than I already have since I get so little sleep and peace and quiet as it is.
I am feeling really discouraged and not sure that I can do this anymore, but I also can't face the guilt that I know I will have by not continuing to try.
ETA: I have recently began nursing them again over the last few days (in lieu of pumping). I have been putting them to breast before giving them a bottle of formula (they depleted my stash). They have bad reflux and the NICU started putting oatmeal in their bottles and I felt discouraged to continue nursing them, so I stopped completely for two weeks and began again after a lot of encouragement from DH. They suck much better than they used to, but are still learning. One has a poor latch and my right breast is suffering from a cracked scabby nipple to add to it all. They eat about every 3.5 hours, close to 3oz, and I still add the cereal.