My baby girl is currently a week and a half old and had a rough start. She was born full-term but small. She weighed in at 5 lb 11 oz at birth. I nursed her from the start but unfortunately she was not receiving enough nutrients and her weight dropped to 4 lb 9 oz. She had to be readmitted to the NICU for dehydration and be placed on IV fluids. Talk about guilt. I still completely blame myself for this. During this time I felt such pressure from the nurses to meet their ideal time limits on breastfeeding that I ended up pumping and bottle feeding her. She has since regained most of the weight and was discharged from the hospital. I really want to breastfeed and drop the pump and bottles but my anxiety over not knowing how much milk she is getting and whether or not she is feeding long enough is making it difficult for me. My lactation consultant suggested that I try strictly breastfeeding for 24 hours without pumps or bottles before completely giving up. I have been trying this for the past 3 1/2 hours and she has fed twice, but for short amounts of time although she seems full and content afterward. Unfortunately the last time she fed, she threw up a lot of the milk afterward. Should I continue to risk her health in an attempt to breastfeed? Also any ideas about why she is throwing up after breastfeeding? And is it OK that she is not a marathon breast feeder and doesn't feed for long periods of time? I am so scared and frustrated about hurting her that it is really taking a toll on me mentally. I would appreciate any advice.