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Thread: Too Close to Giving Up

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    39

    Default Too Close to Giving Up

    My daughter is a month old today and breastfeeding is just not going so great . She often does not open her mouth wide enough to latch and even when she does she will unlatch herself while she is eating and put her mouth too close to the nipple, which causes me pain. I really don't know how to fix this, and in the meantime she is constantly eating! She is gaining well and diaper output is good, but the constant eating just freaks me out. I tried seeing an IBCLC the other day, and she said everything was looking great and our feedings were actually pretty good while she was here. I just don't see this getting easier...do people still struggle this much at a month?? Should I just start pumping exclusively?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    570

    Default Re: Too Close to Giving Up

    YES its normal to still be struggling at one month! Please don't give up yet. I had such a tough time with my dd that I literally counted the days until she reached 12 weeks because that was my cutoff point to stop breastfeeding if it didn't get better. And it did get better. Very gradually to the point where she was 12 weeks old and I thought well this is ok not great but ok. By 14 weeks it was going smoothly.
    When she hurts you, unlatch her and relatch. I know its hard to do that but its worth it to not be in pain while nursing. Have you seen this animation? http://www.breastfeedingmadesimple.c...atedlatch.html
    Here is a link to an old thread that describes the above animation. http://forums.llli.org/showthread.php?t=64512 Hope this helps. Hang in there.
    DD (7/23/08) self weaned at 17 months
    DS (6/20/10) nursing like a champ

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    39

    Question Re: Too Close to Giving Up

    Thanks for the links, and the encouragement. I just feel like all of the books say at two to four weeks things will be going so much better, which is very frustrating when it isn't getting much better. Was there a particular position that worked better for you when you were struggling, or any moms that struggled in the beginning feel free to chime in .

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    612

    Default Re: Too Close to Giving Up

    Are you using a nursing pillow? I used the Mybrestfriend. I found it helped me to have my hands free to support my breast (which could possibly be part of the slipping latch issue you're seeing), and being on the ready to re-latch. Without the pillow, with just me supporting baby's head and body, it was just too much for me to juggle at once.
    First-time mom to Little Manatee (1/7/2010)

    Nursed for 3 1/2 years!



    My little boy is my everything.


  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    39

    Default Re: Too Close to Giving Up

    I do have a boppy, but if I use a pillow I prefer just a regular pillow to the boppy.

  6. #6

    Default Re: Too Close to Giving Up

    My DS is a month old too. He's doing the same thing. While I'm no pro on this we are working on it and it is getting better.
    I just take him off and make him latch again... Over and over.
    I have found that putting him in the football hold works much better.
    Do not give up!
    Married to an awesome dude since 10-21-05
    Sylas Michael born 10-20-10


    Delivered at 38 weeks because of pre-e. Healthy as can be and growing steady!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Denver, Co.
    Posts
    1,164

    Default Re: Too Close to Giving Up

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*manatee View Post
    Are you using a nursing pillow? I used the Mybrestfriend. I found it helped me to have my hands free to support my breast (which could possibly be part of the slipping latch issue you're seeing), and being on the ready to re-latch. Without the pillow, with just me supporting baby's head and body, it was just too much for me to juggle at once.


    The boppy frankly doesn't work well til your LO is older. For me anyway.

    The breastfriend saved me!

    I really didn't get my groove with it til 8 weeks or so. It got more fun at 6 months.

    Hang in there! Walmart.com sells the breastfriend deluxe for pretty cheap.

    One hint - you wear it high up sort of under your boobs - not around your waist.

    HTH!

    Christine
    Baby Girl Born 2/17/10 to her two mommies
    BF from day one. I looked up one day and realized I'm nursing a toddler!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
    Posts
    17,467

    Default Re: Too Close to Giving Up

    Newborns eat constantly. That is just the way it works. Breastmilk is being very quickly absorbed into growing organs and tissue. They have small stomach and are in growing so rapidly. Sitting in one spot all day nursing in our PJ's for the first 6-12 weeks is what we all did. You actually sound like things are going very well. A child who eats all day is stimulating your body to make the right amount of milk. If it goes in it comes out. So enough wet diaper and weight gain mean it's going well. This is the way it works. It's all supply and demand. Exclusively pumping will at least double the amount of time you spend in feeding. Because you will still have to sit and nurse the pump, THEN feed the baby PLUS wash bottles and pump plus reheat stored milk.
    So I don't recommend that if you are looking to spend LESS time feeding. Bottle feeding is NOT more convenient.
    Just wrap your mind around the idea that this is the way that it is supposed to go in the beginning. Don't try to get away from it. Embrace it. They are only this little for the blink of an eye. You and your baby are still getting to know each other. Still finding your groove. Just sit and hold your baby all day. Look into her eyes and let her learn to trust that you are there and will meet her needs. Wake up and EXPECT to stay in one spot all day. Plan for it. Bring the phones, the remotes and snacks ect. Those first weeks I got up to pee, change diapers and get more food. I didn't venture out of the house until he was 6weeks? Joined baby group when he was 8weeks? And even then it was once a week for an hour.....find your breastfeeding groove. It's worth it. We promise.

    Way too lazy for formula

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    266

    Default Re: Too Close to Giving Up

    I can completely empathize with you. My DS is 5 weeks old and we are still struggling. We've hit almost every bump in the road - and they just keep on coming. I have come so close to giving up, but I'm trying to keep on trucking. I tried to pump the last 24 hours and give him the milk in a bottle, and he took the bottle - but it is SO much work. By the time I feed him, burp him, get him settled and pump it's time to do it all again. And almost every time I burp him after he roots and squirms to my nipple - then I feel overwhelming guilt that I just bottle-fed him my milk instead of direct breast feeding.

    I just keep giving myself mini-goals so that I don't give up. My goal at the moment is to just make it through the night.

    I just wanted to let you know you're not alone...lots of mommy hugs.
    Last edited by @llli*jennygal; December 5th, 2010 at 01:28 AM. Reason: add something

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    49

    Default Re: Too Close to Giving Up

    i have heard a lot of people swear that 6 weeks is the turning point when the baby finally "gets it". well we have a lot of problems with latch and im in a lot of pain so i was anxiously awaiting the 6 week mark. but now, at 7 weeks, i still have open sores on my nipples and a lot of pain. but i AM starting to see a tiny bit of improvement! and i am not giving up! i know it has to get better, it's just happening very slowly.

    and if you are thinking of pumping exclusively, please don't! i tried it for a while when i couldn't take the pain anymore and at first it was a relief to not be in pain but after a few days i was so sick of washing and sterilizing bottles, getting up to pump, listening to my baby scream while i prepare a bottle, that in the end i chose to endure the pain rather than this whole hassle. i think it's much easier to give up later on if you are pumping rather than nursing. like after the baby starts solids and doesn't "need" the breastmilk that badly anymore. for me personally, i really want to breastfeed for a long time, definitely past 1 year old, so i can't afford to pump exclusively.

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