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Thread: My constant battle

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    52

    Default My constant battle

    I didn't know I'd make it but I have, my LO is 1yo and we are still nursing!

    I've had such a struggle with supply and work and and and.....

    Now I feel I'm facing my biggest struggle, "social judgement".

    I'm SOOOOO sick of all the comments. "Oh you're still nursing?" "How old is he (insert disguisted look)?" "You're quitting soon right?" "That's kinda gross?" "Isn't it time mommy lets him grow up" "She's doing it for herself"

    UGH!!! I realize it's not the norm to be nursing a 1yo....heck a 6 month old around here. Now my boss tells me I need to get a perscription or docotor's note because people at my office are complaining about my needing to pump.

    How do you deal with the comments and negativity? I really want to nurse untill my little man seems ready to end our relationship, then at the same time I imagine how much easier life would be if I wean. Sigh. I just want what's right for my baby.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    6,564

    Default Re: My constant battle

    Sorry you're going through this. Is it mostly from people at work, or your family and friends? A lot of moms stop pumping at the year mark, but I bet you could get your pediatrician to write a note saying that your baby needs the milk. Or your OB could write one saying that you need to pump to keep mastitis at bay.

    ETA: I haven't dealt with negative comments at work. And really only one negative comment directed at me when Lilah was about 19 months old from my MIL, although I knew she was thinking it. But I only see family a couple times a year, so I try not to let it bother me.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    52

    Default Re: My constant battle

    I've always really struggled with supply and I work 12 hour shifts so I just don't think I could go without pumping at all. I really really wish I could. I've cut down to only two 15 min sessions though. I thought that would suffice to appease my coworkers.

    The comments come from coworkers, family, and friends a like, even strangers. I can't get over how these people seem to make it their business. The gall! Even my son's pediatrician! When he asked if he had made the transition to cow's milk and I told him no because he was still nursing, his reply was, "well you need to start working on that". WHY? He eats milk based products but there's no need for him to drink cow's milk.
    It makes it tough since I want to be done but I know my LO isn't ready.
    I am SO thankful for my two friends who stand by me. Also my husband has been an angel about it.

    I'm glad to know that there's some mom's that don't have to deal with this. It's encouraging.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    6,564

    Default Re: My constant battle

    How is it coming up in conversation? Especially with strangers?

    I'm not saying that you should hide anything you are doing - I certainly never did, but I don't remember too many conversations with strangers about nursing or pumping.

    And maybe get a new pediatrician!! The only thing mine ever said was - good for you.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Piggott, AR
    Posts
    59

    Default Re: My constant battle

    I haven't gotten anything negative from my pedi either, just "are you still nursing? OK. When you get ready, you can switch her to cow's milk anytime".

    Strangers...sometimes. My husband notices it more than I do - I tend to ignore people.

    I got a coworker the other day that asked if Mollie was still nursing (she's nearly 14mo) and I answered yes. I saw "the look" flash across her face as she asked "when are you going to wean her". I thought "none of your business", but I answered "I don't know...whenever she's ready".

    I am like you - I don't get where people think it's any of their business how you feed your child -they just do. It would never occur to people to ask how often your husband handles your breasts , why ask about the kids? I will say this...it is good practice to defend your decision, because before you know it, you will be defending your child against bullies, sticking up for him/her at school, etc.

    I myself pump weaned at 9mo, but I agree that your pedi or OB might be able to provide a "doctor's note" . If you are in the US, I dare say you can get one from your local Health Dept if your docs are not on board. There should at least be a Nurse Practitioner there willing to provide the documentation needed.
    Lori -
    wife to Davis, my best friend and strongest supporter
    43 yo mom to 3

    Lee Allen Christopher - 18 - precious preemie , all grown up; BF 6 wks
    Connor Ethan - 13 - my red head , ALL boy, ALL the time; BF 14 mo
    Mollie Rhiannon - 4 - my surprise , more fun than I ever expected; BFing, no end in sight!!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    68

    Default Re: My constant battle

    You may also want to check your state law. The federal law covers you and provides time off to pump until baby is 1 year but some states are longer. If your state law is longer, you could give a copy to HR.

    Personally, I pump weaned at 10 months and it was a great decision for me. The pump was getting to be such a stressor. I also work full time - typically 10 hour days. LO is almost 17 months and we're still going strong - not sure I'd be able to say that if I was still pumping but that's just me. I have enormous respect for all of the EPers. I don't know how they do it. If you really want to pump-wean, your body will adjust. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

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