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Thread: love-hate relationship with my breast

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
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    266

    Default love-hate relationship with my breast

    Towards the end of feedings, my 4-week-old son almost always gets fussy. He will search frantically for my breast, latch on aggressively - take a few sucks, and then pull off violently and crying. I have tried burping him during this time, giving him a pacifier (I have an oversupply, so in case he wants to suck but doesn't want milk), holding him in various positions, and more. I'm not sure how to handle this when it's happening. Should I let him keep latching and pulling off? Or should I assume he's done feeding and remove my breast from the equation and try soothing him another way? After an hour of this love-hate relationship my nipples become extremely sore. He latches correctly most of the time, but he is so strong that the initial first sucks are very hard on my nipples.

    Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
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    Brussels, Belgium
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    Default Re: love-hate relationship with my breast

    Hey mama, welcome here! LO doesn't have a love-hate relationship with any part of you, especially his precious nummies. He loves all of you and you're pure love to him Sometimes babies fuss. They may have built up gas, or are getting impatient with--falling asleep? A little headache? Missing home sweet home--the womb? Too much stimulation? The taste of (X) that was in your lunch? Time to poo? This signal of discomfort is no reading on LO's love and attachment to you. We all feel uncomfortable sometimes.

    What seems right to you, and which has had the best result for LO, and your breasts?

    http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/...e-nursing.html a list of possible fuss causes

    Another idea: my nurse midwife encouraged me to try babywearing, and to do it a lot especially for the first 6 weeks. The very first day we wore Madeline her fussing dropped dramatically. She changed character. I was immensely relieved, and it's helped us form a deeper, more loving attachment to our baby as a little person snuggled up to our chests rather than someone a waist-level in a pram. We still wear her at 10 months (yesterday). Babywearing 3h/day as a general habit, not in response to crying, has been proven to reduce crying. When she was so small and light I did wear her for hours each day and it was quite fine. I still wear her down to sleep, or for hoovering like we did yesterday--she's afraid of the noise. My scarf and baby carrier have been worth their weight in gold.
    Katharine
    Be the change you want to see in the world--Mahatma Gandhi
    mid-August DD (2010) & DS (2011 VBAC)
    Ouch! Is it thrush or Raynaud's phenomenon?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
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    266

    Default Re: love-hate relationship with my breast

    Thanks for the advice. I've been trying to wear him the last couple of days, but he fights the carrier...and usually starts wailing after about 2 minutes in it. We have the baby bjorn - I'm wondering if I should try something else? What I end up doing is just holding him and carrying him around or sitting on the couch with him. He spends the majority of the day on my chest - but in a way that doesn't allow me to do even the simplest tasks.

    I tried on a few slings at the baby consignment shop in town (the ONLY place to buy baby things within 2 hours other than Walmart)...and I didn't like the ones I tried, so I'm hesitant to order anything online.

    Thanks for your help!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
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    39

    Default Re: love-hate relationship with my breast

    My three week, almost 4 week old daughter is doing the same thing your son is. If she is awake she is crying and nursing does not help because she does the same as your son does; latch on take a few sucks and then pull off screaming. She is also not latching on correctly even when I try the laid back nursing or biological nurturing. I feel your pain . Please let me know if you find anything that helps your son.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    27

    Default Re: love-hate relationship with my breast

    I have the same problem with my almost-four week old son. He is so happy for the first five minutes or so of nursing and then gets very fussy afterward. I read somewhere that some babies get used to the fast flow of mamas with oversupply and start to prefer it, and my theory was that my little one gets frustrated once things have slowed down a bit!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Sunny Florida
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    112

    Default Re: love-hate relationship with my breast

    I'm with vedder - my let down is pretty strong and when it slows down, my LO fusses. Her fussing usually wont stop until I have another let down. Its not bad in the middle of the night or in the mornings because I can usually get a let down every few minutes and she doesnt really fuss much. But in the evening, I get realllly frustrated because it can take 10-20 min between let downs and she tears my nipples up and cries - I have no idea why it takes longer in the evenings and I'm hoping as my supply levels out it will stop. My LO is almost 6 weeks old.
    I'm a proud first time mommy , born 10/19/2010 and a wife to an amazing husband

    Birth 10/19/2010: 7lbs 3oz
    3 days old 10/22: 6lbs 6oz
    2 1/2 weeks old 11/05: 6lbs 14oz
    4 weeks old 11/17: 7lbs 15oz
    8 weeks old 12/15: 10lbs
    4 months old 2/28: 14lbs

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    266

    Default Re: love-hate relationship with my breast

    Although I wouldn't wish this situation on anyone - it's a relief to know I'm not alone!

    I was block feeding on one breast at a time for several feedings in a row in an attempt to get more of the hindmilk and decrease my supply a little bit, but this last feeding (at 6pm) when he started latching and pulling off upset, I actually tried switching breasts - and it seemed to work...so maybe he was actually getting upset when my flow slowed down. Thanks for sharing your experiences - I'm going to try switching breasts when it happens for the next couple of feedings...I'll let you know how it goes!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
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    17,464

    Default Re: love-hate relationship with my breast

    It sounds to me like OALD. And I think you should leave your breast out and let him have another try when he is ready. He is probably reacting to the strong let down. Popping off and retrying after a few moments is very common. Dealing with OALD take practice on the part of the baby and coping skills. They come with time. But leave your breast out so that he can get it figured out. It's not likely that a baby that you is getting what they need in 3or 4 sucks.

    Way too lazy for formula

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