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Thread: I am ready to quit...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2010

    Default I am ready to quit...

    This is long but I really need to see if anyone can help!

    I am really ready to stop breastfeeding. I can't handle fighting with my DS to get him to eat. He is almost 3 months old. A little over 2 weeks ago, he started fighting me every time I tried to breastfeed him. It literally came out of nowhere - one day fine, the next day he would cry if I tried or simply turn his head away. Sometimes he wouldn't even be upset but would simply refuse to eat. I am totally stressed and sad, sad, sad over this because previous to this he was eating so well. I took him to the doctor twice about this over the past two weeks, and they say there's nothing physically wrong with him -- no thrush, no reflux, no ear infection, no virus, etc. They think it's simply behavioral and seem to think he'll just go back to eating normally again. But now it's been over 2 weeks, and I'm beyond words or actions about this. I had been trying to drop feed him with pumped milk because I wanted to avoid the bottle, but that's not sustainable. First off, I simply do not have time to pump enough for him throughout the day -- I don't have anyone to come over and help watch him while I pump, and my husband's day is about 14 hours long so I'm home with DS alone for that whole time. Second, it takes forever to drop feed him and it is not going to work to keep doing that. I don't know if I have oversupply. He does sometimes cough when I start feeding him, but my breasts don't get engorged. He has been having watery poops that are sometimes green -- sometimes they have mucous in them and sometimes they are foamy because I have opened his diaper while he's still going, and I see the foam coming out. They used to be yellow and seedy but now even if there's yellow, they are more runny with mucous and with little seed. I completely eliminated dairy from my diet 2 weeks ago when this started (even hidden dairy), and now I'm eliminating soy. I don't know what's wrong. When he does eat, he will only eat for 5 minutes or so. Some days are better than others. I have tried skin-to-skin, feeding him in a sling, feeding him when he's sleepy (the only thing that somewhat seems to work when I'm rocking him in the glider, and he will wake up at night to eat for a little bit - we co-sleep). I just started trying to block feed in case it's oversupply but since he's not eating for long stretches, it's hard to know when to switch sides to try to feed him.

    Weight gain so far:
    Born: 7, 15oz.
    1 month: 9, 15oz.
    2 month: 12, 1oz.
    1st appt to check weight (Nov. 16): 12, 2oz.
    2nd appt to check weight (Nov. 22): 12, 9oz.

    I had been on antibiotics but I've been off for over a week now. And it's not thrush -- no symptoms from either him or me. And he doesn't seem like his mouth is bothering him at all. He's doing tons of hand-sucking though and is seeming to prefer hand-sucking over feeding. He does have wet diapers and actually has quite a few poopy diapers a day still (but not "normal" poops as above) -- he started to do the whole "pooping a couple minutes into a feeding" thing and stops eating as soon as he starts pooping...so I'll change him and try to get him back on the breast but no, no, no.

    I quite simply don't know what to do at this point. I am at a complete loss. I am completely, completely committed to breastfeeding, but what am I supposed to do???

  2. #2

    Default Re: I am ready to quit...

    I had a similar experience when my son was that age. For about 2 weeks, he cried like he was in pain every time I nursed him. It was horrible & so upsetting! I never, ever thought I'd contemplate quitting, but it crossed my mind a lot at that time. BUT he was getting milk, he continued to gain weight, and eventually...it passed.

    We didn't have foamy poops---that is a sign of a forceful let-down, as far as I know, and one recommendation I've heard is to try the "lying back" method of feeding (where you lie back & the baby lies either on top of you or off to your side a little bit while nursing). This can help reduce the milk flow. I didn't have much luck w/ this position (it hurt my nipples), but other women I've spoken with LOVE it. (There is a better description of the method in the LLL book, the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding---a great resource!!)

    Another suggestion is to try & calm him down before feeding him if he's upset/crying. If he calms when being carried in a sling or pushed in his stroller or just taken outside, do one of those things first. Then you can (hopefully) both approach BF a little bit more calmly.

    Yet another idea (my husband calls me the "idea factory"!): Our baby has loved his frozen teething toy -- a lot of babies start "pre-teething" very early & BF can hurt their gums sometimes. Try giving him a frozen toy (or an ice cube wrapped in a washcloth & secured w/ a rubber band) before feeding & see if that helps.

    And my over-arching advice is DON'T QUIT! I really thought about it & was so sad about the whole episode, but honestly one day he stopped crying during feeding & was back to normal. Now, a month or two later, I am sooo grateful that I stuck with it. There are so many challenges along the way, but it is worth it. Best of luck to you!!

  3. #3

    Default Re: I am ready to quit...

    I can completely understand your frustration! Just yesterday, I posted in desperation..after crying all day as well. I think that you should just keep working at it, too. Try to stick with the block feeding and give it a week or so before you start seeing desired changes/results. I just started 2 days ago with it and I'm slowly starting to see good changes in my 5 week old. She was the same way..extremely fussy and gassy, had the green, foamy stools, spitting up and had a hard time at the breast. I also contacted a local lll member and she was awesome-very informative and reassuring. I was talking to her, in tears , ready to start dryingup and weaning to formula..but I wanted to try every avenue before I threw in the towel.

    I also tried altering feeding positions to help with the OALD and finally found that both the side-lying and leaning back positions worked the best..but it took several feedings and different trys before I got one that works best. Please don't give up, I'm trying with everything I have inside me to not give myself! We can help each other!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2010

    Default Re: I am ready to quit...

    Thanks for your thoughts and encouragement. He seems to be nursing better today. But I am concerned about the green stools, especially since they've been so consistently mucousy and today there were flecks of blood mixed in with the mucous - not a lot but distressing still. I spoke to the lactation consultant today about this, and she referred me to a GI pediatrician and I'll be taking him in tomorrow. Hopefully it's nothing serious; I'm a wreck.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2010

    Default Re: I am ready to quit...

    I am no expert...but I read that greedn stools with mucus or blood could be caused by a food allery...the following supports this statement.

    "If a breastfed baby is sensitive to a particular food, then he may be fussy after feedings, cry inconsolably for long periods, or sleep little and wake suddenly with obvious discomfort. There may be a family history of allergies. Other signs of a food allergy may include: rash, hives, eczema, sore bottom, dry skin; wheezing or asthma; congestion or cold-like symptoms; red, itchy eyes; ear infections; irritability, fussiness, colic; intestinal upsets, vomiting, constipation and/or diarrhea, or green stools with mucus or blood."


    Just an idea! Best of Luck!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2010

    Default Re: I am ready to quit...-- UPDATE

    Just as an update, DS has been much better about nursing and his sessions today were really good (a lot longer and not as fussy at all). Also, we went to the Pediatric GI yesterday, and she's pretty confident that the stool/other digestive issues are food allergy/sensitivity related. She was really great and basically said definitely do not stop breastfeeding and to basically do the Dr. Sears' Elimination Diet plan and start him on infant probiotics. So, we went grocery shopping today and I will be starting elimination completely tomorrow, and we got the BioGaia probiotic drops she recommended too and started him on those last night. Fingers crossed he feels even better soon!

  7. #7

    Default Re: I am ready to quit...

    Hi my baby girl is 9 weeks old today, and I'm having similar problems, she is eating her fist so I put her to breast and she won't open her mouth then she starts screaming, so sometimes I can get her to latch and she pulls off and on, chokes a couple times throughout the feeding and gets very upset and then won't latch again. If I can't get her to latch she is very upset so I give her the pacifier and she opens her mouth for that. I too am very frustrated and I keep thinking should I give her bottle? I had a lot of problems in the beginning so She did get formula and on occasion still does ( when I feel bad cause I know she is hungry and I want to see if she will eat) I only work 2 days a week but she gets bottle then too. I don't know if my supply is too fast for her or if she has gas or if she is holding out for bottle? I have thought about just stopping with breastfeeding because I don't want her to be that upset. I have heard it can be a diet thing too, I eat a lot of chocolate (stress ) milk, coffee? Please help me too, any advice from any experienced mammas?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!

    Default Re: I am ready to quit...

    Well I know you know that breastmilk is better for her than formula. Also if she IS getting a bottle when away from you, you really need to be diligent about ALWAYS feeding her when together. Because it could be nipple confusion. And if she thinks that fussing will get her the bottle she may do that. And you don't want that. Because it IS easier to drink out a bottle. But it's not better for her. Breastfeeding is work. And it's work that helps their jaw and mouth and doing it helps them learn to self regulate. So she may be fussing at your breast because she knows there is an easier way to get the milk. Don't give in. When you are with her. Offer offer offer. Stay skin to skin. Lay down with her for naps. Be there with your breast when she wakes up. Babies INSTINCTIVELY suckle. It's a survival thing it's built in. Like reflexes. So even if a child IS trying to strike, the will still eat when sleepy or sleeping. Also if you have OALD ans a very sensitive child sometimes it's best to let the first letdown go into a towel as to no overwhelm them with the force. But don't give up. Formula is not even a close 2nd in terms of what a child that young is getting from your breast milk. And she deserves it. Breastfeeding is never easy in the beginning. It's not. But just like pregnancy and child birth, it's worth it. It is. Stick with it Mama.

    Way too lazy for formula

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Sunny Florida

    Default Re: I am ready to quit...

    alaynna.mommy - Sometimes too much caffeine can cause irritability in the baby. Maybe try and limit the coffee, chocolate and cokes and see if that helps. Also, if you are giving any formula daily, maybe she is having a bad reaction to that which is making her fussy?? Try only breastmilk for several days in a row.

    Have both of you tried breast compressions? My LO gets very fussy after my first let down - she occaisionally gets a bottle of expressed breastmilk and I have a forceful let down - so she really prefers the fast flow of both. Once my flow slows down she fusses but it really helps when I do breast compressions - plus the breast compressions help make sure she gets more hind milk which keeps her from being gassy or getting green stools.

    I still think about giving up somtimes too, but we can all do this!!
    I'm a proud first time mommy , born 10/19/2010 and a wife to an amazing husband

    Birth 10/19/2010: 7lbs 3oz
    3 days old 10/22: 6lbs 6oz
    2 1/2 weeks old 11/05: 6lbs 14oz
    4 weeks old 11/17: 7lbs 15oz
    8 weeks old 12/15: 10lbs
    4 months old 2/28: 14lbs

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