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Thread: Am i doing it wrong??

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    18

    Default Am i doing it wrong??

    So I posted about a week ago that I have been feeling physically and emotionally uncomfortable everytime my 26 month old dd nurses. I took a pregnancy test and it was negative. I decided after asking all of you that it was my way of feeling like it was time to wean. She was only nursing in the am on the weekends and at night for no more than 2 minutes at a time anyway.

    Here is where I'm at. I started refusing nursing last Sunday and she has been fine with it. Everytime she asks I just say no and distract here. She went 6 days without nursing (no fuss). This morning however I was very tired and when she got into bed with us and begged to nurse (crying and all) I gave in. She nursed both sides for about 3-4 minutes each. I had milk.

    I do want her weaned but it doesn't have to be all at once. What should I do?? I feel like I strayed from my consistency and I feel sort of guilty. How many days before she stops asking. She is VERY verbal.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,096

    Default Re: Am i doing it wrong??

    It's pretty normal for a "weaned" baby to want to nurse again after days or weeks of going without. I think it's fine (and very generous) that you gave in- weaning is not usually something where you absolutely have to be consistent all the time or it's not going to work. IMO, it's more something where you aim for consistency, but adjust your plan based on your child's need. I think if my kid had come begging and crying to nurse, I would have given in, too!

    How long it will take before your kid stops asking... It could be tomorrow, it could be a long time from now. It really depends on her as an individual.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    18

    Default Re: Am i doing it wrong??

    By not being consistent aren't I sending the message that crying and begging will get her what she wants?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    6,564

    Default Re: Am i doing it wrong??

    I'm not sure about that. I'm in the process of weaning my daughter right now and the main thing I've done (not perfectly!) is not set myself up in situations that seem to demand nursing, like you're talking about. I don't sit down much at all really, and certainly not in our regular nursing spots. I don't lay down with her and I try to only hug her when one or both of us are upright. Sounds weird, in a way, but nursing hurts and also fills me with hormonal pregnancy rage. Anyway.

    I did nurse her this morning. She wasn't freaking out, and hadn't even started crying, but I could tell that she was going to get there if I continued to offer alternatives. One thing that I think about weaning is that it is a two way street and some days they will nurse and others they won't. She obviously needed to nurse the other morning in bed and good for you for recognizing that and not sticking to an arbitrary schedule that doesn't mean anything to her.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    6,467

    Default Re: Am i doing it wrong??

    I think you're doing a great job and weaning doesn't have to be cold turkey (even if you want it to be ) This is a process and you're doing a great job.
    Mommy to Maxwell 10-9-07 weaned with love (a party and a remote control monster truck) on his 4th birthday
    My Boy 3-16-10
    And my sweet pea Sam 2-12-11

    Watch Your Language

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,096

    Default Re: Am i doing it wrong??

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*csrose21 View Post
    By not being consistent aren't I sending the message that crying and begging will get her what she wants?
    Yes, but that's not the only thing you're doing. You're also sending the message that you will adjust to your child's level of need. If she needs to nurse so badly that you perceive that she's desperate, then sometimes you may have to give in. As Jenna said, weaning is a process. Your LO went 6 whole days with no nursing, accepting distraction instead of the breast. That's a lot of progress!
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

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