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Thread: Separation Anxiety

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2006

    Default Separation Anxiety

    My ds is 7 1/2 mo and is having serious separation anxiety. I work 40 hours and he is at day care the entire time. For months, he took bottles with no problem but now is refusing bottles, liquids, etc. He'll eat but won't drink. He nurses fine when I'm home and we're doing the "reverse cycling" thing as well. Lately, when I go to drop him off at daycare, he'll scream and wail and raise his arms. The staff tells me this usually kicks in at 12 mos. or so but he's doing it early. How do you get past it? What will reassure him? Daycare tells me a brief goodbye is better than lingering but my mommy instincts want to linger. If he's distracted, I can slip away and he's fine. Daycare, alas, says this is bad too. What should I do??? Anyone else have either problem....the bottle strike or the anxiety upon leaving??? And no, I work too far to nurse him at lunch. He's in a quality daycare and I don't want to move him but I am searching for a job closer to the center. I'd rather move me than him!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006

    Default Re: Separation Anxiety

    Just thought I'd let you know I feel for you. I'm going through something very similar. My son is 11 months old and for the past 4 days or so he's started crying the minute I leave. I usually just give him a kiss goodbye, tell him I love him and that mommy's has to go to work now but I'll see him when I get home. It tears me up inside but I'm pretty sure he calms down shortly after I'm gone. He still seems to be taking the bottle fine so I can't really comment on that but I'm hoping this is a phase that will be over soon.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006

    Default Re: Separation Anxiety

    This is just a phase. And why not just sneak out, if it's easier on everyone? They play with baby, turn around for a sec, and you leave. If baby starts noticing that you are gone, then you can change your game plan.

    And short good-byes are easier than long ones - stay out of sight, but listen carefully for his cries. They should stop as soon as he gets distracted.

    A goodbye routine is also helpful - talk about it in the car, say goodbye, give him a kiss, maybe a short nursing session in the car before you take him inside?

    The eating thing will get better, or at least it should. He's at an age where he's also very distractible, they may need to find a quieter, calmer, darker place to feed him for a while, until he gets a little older. This also happens to mothers, too, they start noticing about this age that baby doesn't want to eat, and once they remove some distractions, it's a lot better.
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  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2006

    Smile Re: Separation Anxiety

    The same thing went for us at about eight months I feel for you. It took almost a week for my babysitter to get used to giving my baby a bottle and for her to take it, what worked for her was she would hold her and do the same routine I did when I was nursing her. So if you can try to show them what you do whether or not you have a certain way or spot or lighting I learned you have to do what baby knows best and it should work out in the end. Good luck.

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