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Thread: Why do I take it so personally? Long vent :-(

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    140

    Default Why do I take it so personally? Long vent :-(

    I have had a recent episode of low milk supply leading to my baby not gaining enough weight. The baby's paediatrician who has been very supportive has told me to try and relax and continue the nursing and that we'll check back in a few weeks. We first checked her right about the time I noticed a problem and then two weeks later during which time she had gained only 5 oz. The Ped also discouraged me from starting solids until my baby is 6 months old.

    However, both my husband and my mother are questioning this. My husband's gut reaction to any feeding problem is "Let's start the formula". He has a friend who has a daughter about 8 months older than ours, and they started supplementing with formula when their baby was 6 weeks old. My husband thinks everything this friend and his wife are doing is the right thing to do. Meanwhile my Mum is telling me to start solids. That's 'cos her neighbour's baby who is about 3 weeks older than my baby started solids about a month ago.

    I feel so inadequate when I hear this. I feel selfish to want to continue to exclusively breastfeed, and under a lot of pressure to produce more milk (which probably isn't helping), and it is only the paediatrician's advice (I told her of the pressure I am getting) that helps me continue. I can tell everyone to shut up because the ped said to keep nursing no matter what. But everytime someone tells me to supplement or start solids, I am taking it so personally. I feel awful and have been trying every trick under the sun to increase my supply - which has worked a bit but only slowly. It's lead to me valuing my breastmilk like blood or something. And I still feel like I am being very selfish - nursing my baby just to show I can.

    why do I take this so personally? And why do I get so hurt when people say things like, "Oh let's just start formula/solids/whatever"? How can I explain it to people?

  2. #2
    kristenco's Avatar
    kristenco is offline Shares Widely And Frequently
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    Jul 2006
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    Default Re: Why do I take it so personally? Long vent :-(

    Huge hugs to you. I know where you are coming from.... been there, done that with the last two babies. It really does feel so personal... it IS personal!

    You aren't just breastfeeding to "show you can"... you're doing it because it's the best thing for your baby. There are lots of things that can be done to improve milk supply. Have you had a chance to meet with your local LLL leader? I'm convinced that the LLL can help you with whatever problems you're having. I don't have experience with low milk supply, so I can't offer much advice, but wanted to tell you that there's a solution for everything, and you are doing the best thing!! Hang in there.... I know it can feel really defeating at times!!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    56

    Smile Re: Why do I take it so personally? Long vent :-(

    Hang in there. When Kaitlyn was at her check up, She had not gained any weight (in about 2 weeks) and everyone started talking about supplementing. I was heartbroken but my husband told me not to listen to them (doctor, nurses, friend, etc). I really srated focusing on relaxing and drinking fluids and I started pumping when I could. My husband took a feeding (in a bottle) for me and she started gaining the needed weight. Stick with it and don't listen to other people. Listen to what your heart says, if you know you can do it, it doens't matter what they say. Nobody knows better than you! Good luck!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    12

    Default Re: Why do I take it so personally? Long vent :-(

    I know how you feel about the low milk supply, and it is VERY frustrating. I've been having problems trying to pump a good amount for my husband to feed our five week old when I'm gone to work at night. The past couple of nights all I've had to give was about 2 and half ounces when he needs 5 or 6 to go to sleep really get full. So lately I've been just feeding him really frequently and that's supposed to build up your milk supply. In fact on days that I feed about every hour rather than every two to three hours, then I go to work, and when I get home I can pump about five ounces.

    But :s:: I know the feeling. For the low milk supply, the most I can say is just relax and trying feeding more often. And as said earlier you're the best judgement for your baby.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
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    37

    Default Re: Why do I take it so personally? Long vent :-(

    Oh, I feel for you because I know exactly how you feel. Our situation is a little different, because the ped says our baby is gaining enough (as of the last visit, which was about a month ago). He is now 13 1/2 wks and I was always questioning whether he was getting enough. We had many calls to Lact. Consultants and visits to the Ped as my son always seemed hungry after being on the breast. He always did and still does fall asleep on the breast. It's VERY frustrating because my husband's first response was to "give him a bottle". I have stood fast to this issue with my husband, tooth and nail, and just refused to give a bottle of formula, sometimes getting so frustrated you just start to cry because it seems no one is listening to you. I too felt and sometimes feel selfish because I refused to give him formula. There are and were times I give him a bottle of breastmilk and don't feel bad about doing that. It's what's inside it that counts! I didn't know how much work brfeeding would be. There are times when I question if I want to continue, but something inside me tells me to keep on with it. And I too feel like sometimes I'm doing it, just to prove that I can...it does become personal after struggling with it for so long! I would talk to a lactation consultant or a LLL leader for more personal help. Perhaps you have one local to you.
    If you feel like you need to vent, email me...I'm sure we could share some stories Good luck
    Lori

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