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Thread: New mom to a 4 day old

  1. #1
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    Sep 2010
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    Unhappy New mom to a 4 day old

    I feel like she's never going to get satisfied. She's very unpredictable when it comes to nursing and napping. I also need some advice regarding pumping. I am going with my family to the beach this weekend and need to pump in order to feed her while on the road. I pumped earlier but ended up giving it to baby girl and then immediately feeding from the breast I expressed the milk from. I need to know if that is ok. I also need to know how to tell when the baby is feeding and when the baby is just pacifying - she won't take a pacifier so I always think she's really hungry but can't tell if she's drinking anything or not.

    Her pees and poops are fine - very runny poops, but regular. At least 4 today of each. I've read that as long as she's doing that regularly she's getting what she needs and is fine...but how do you preserve your sanity when it seems that all she wants to do is feed and you're getting absolutely no sleep? I've got so many more questions but can't think of them right now...will update the post when they come to me!

    Please help!!!!!!!!

    Tara McConnell

  2. #2
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    Default Re: New mom to a 4 day old

    Mama, and congratulations on your little one!

    When they're as new as your baby, they need to eat very frequently--her stomach is about the size of a walnut, so she needs frequent "refills." At this point, there is no difference for her between pacifying and nursing; they're one and the same. Follow her lead and nurse her when she fusses, and sleep when you can.

    Is there any way you can postpone the beach trip? Especially this early, the best thing you can do for her and for you is to plant yourself on a couch or a bed and nurse, nurse, nurse. Throw in traveling and trying to pump, and you could really be setting yourself (and her) up for a frustrating time.
    Last edited by @llli*mumtothomas; September 16th, 2010 at 07:22 PM.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: New mom to a 4 day old

    Welcome and congratulations on the new baby!

    What you're going through is absolutely normal. New babies feed and nap unpredictably- that's really their most distinguishing behavioral characteristic! But as time goes on, they fall into more regular routines (that's routines, not schedules- there will always be variation). You just shouldn't expect that regularity at just 4 days old!

    Regarding pumping, the beach, and bottle-feeding: I would put away the pump for now, shelve the bottles, and think twice about the trip to the beach. The beach will always be there, but your baby is only a baby once, and if you're concerned about getting breastfeeding established the last thing you want to do is start messing with pumps and bottles. Pumping is not a good thing to do while your supply is getting established. It's too easy to pump too much and end up with oversupply (which is a problem- it can lead to forceful letdown of milk, engorgement, plugged ducts, and mastitis), and once you have pumped milk, the temptation to use it can be very hard to resist. And right now you do need to resist it, because you do not want to introduce a bottle before breastfeeding is well-established. Babies latch onto bottles differently than they do to the breast, and they can rapidly learn incorrect latching habits from using a bottle. Also, it is very easy to get milk from the bottle when compared to the breast, and many babies who get bottles early on come to prefer them, and start to reject the breast.

    If you do decide to go to the beach, just stop the car and nurse. It's easier than pumping, transporting, and giving bottles, not to mention that you should be pumping every time you give one!

    I would not worry about the feeding vs. pacifying thing right now. At all. Remember that the breast is the original pacifier, and be glad your baby doesn't take a silicon paci: like bottles, they can interfere with a baby's ability to latch.

    I know that what you're going through is hard. I've done it twice and it has been madness both times! Just try to remember that right now your only job is to care for the baby and yourself. So get the tv remote, a novel, some snacks, and a bottle of water, and park yourself in a comfy spot, and focus on nursing the baby and regaining your strength. Don't do ANYTHING else. And at night, try sleeping with your baby: it's the only way a lot of us get any sleep!

  4. #4
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    Default Re: New mom to a 4 day old

    Hi momma and congrats on your new little bundle!!

    New bf'd babies eat every 30 minutes to 2 hours and this is normal and is what is best to establish supply. Just b/c your milk comes in doesn't mean your supply is established. You need to nurse, nurse, nurse on demand for the first 3 months to get it really going. Pumping now can set you up for a lot of pain later by signaling your breasts to make too much milk and can lead to clogged ducts and painful engorgement.

    Also introducing a bottle this early can also lead to problems with nipple confusion and a baby who gets a lazy suck and can prefer the bottle. Pumping can not take the place of nursing. The pump is not an effective remover of milk, your baby's mouth is best at this. If you pump and feed from a bottle now your baby may prefer the bottle since it takes less effort to feed from it and also you can diminish your supply by not effectivly removing milk with the pump.

    Sleep? What's that?? New babies need to feed often so they wake often. Always sleep when she does. Period. Rest as much as possible. At this point feeding yourself, getting some rest, getting a shower and feeding her trumps everything else. In a few months she may go a bit longer stretches of sleep. Every baby is different. Some sleep longer earlier, some like my son and many others don't sleep through the night even at 3 years. Both are normal. You're going to be tired, don't try to be super mom. These first days of a teeny baby go by so fast!! Try to drink them in, they'll be gone soon. (My oldest is 17 and I have no idea how that happened so fast!)

    I agree with mumtothomas. Can you postpone upcoming trip?
    Jen - mom to 3
    DD who I FF
    I survived 10 painful mastitis infections and managed to nurse DS1 till he was 3 years and 7 months
    and now DS2 4 years now working on gentle weaning and


    "Pride is one of the seven deadly sins; but it can not be the pride of a mother in her children, for that is a compound of two cardinal virtues - faith and hope." Charles Dickens

  5. #5
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    Default Re: New mom to a 4 day old

    Thanks everybody! I did decide to pass on the beach trip. Although it doesn't really make it easier, it is certainly nice to know that I'm not going crazy and that this is normal for most mom's. "The things they don't tell you when you are pregnant!!"

    I will be sitting on my butt all day today - thank the good Lord my mom is still here to wait on me hand and foot!!

  6. #6
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    Default Re: New mom to a 4 day old

    Thank goodness for moms, right?!

    I remember being really frustrated (and exhausted), and thinking that breastfeeding was so "natural" there must be something wrong with me for having a hard time getting the hang of it. One day you'll realize the two of you have worked your way into a rhythm, and it will be second nature. You'll still be tired but it will fall into place. Hang in there!

  7. #7
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    Default Re: New mom to a 4 day old



    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*tara715 View Post
    The things they don't tell you when you are pregnant!!"

    I will be sitting on my butt all day today - thank the good Lord my mom is still here to wait on me hand and foot!!
    Mother to 3...Kaylen 15, Clint 12, and Carter 11 months!!


  8. #8
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    Default Re: New mom to a 4 day old

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*tara715 View Post
    it is certainly nice to know that I'm not going crazy and that this is normal for most mom's. "The things they don't tell you when you are pregnant!!"
    You look at the magazines in the supermarket and it's all "This Celebrity Filmed a New Movie, Learned to Fly, and Got Her Body Back by Taking Up Kickboxing and Gourmet Cooking When Her Baby was 10 Minutes Old! You Can, Too!"

    I much prefer what my SIL says is the Chinese response to having a baby: the mom gets into bed with her baby, doesn't do anything, and lets her mom take care of the house and feed her immense quantities of restorative and fatty chicken soup. That lasts a MONTH.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: New mom to a 4 day old

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommal View Post
    You look at the magazines in the supermarket and it's all "This Celebrity Filmed a New Movie, Learned to Fly, and Got Her Body Back by Taking Up Kickboxing and Gourmet Cooking When Her Baby was 10 Minutes Old! You Can, Too!"

    I much prefer what my SIL says is the Chinese response to having a baby: the mom gets into bed with her baby, doesn't do anything, and lets her mom take care of the house and feed her immense quantities of restorative and fatty chicken soup. That lasts a MONTH.
    My Older sister had her 2nd son while her husband was working out of town, she didn't have much help and ended up doing A LOT more than a mom with a brand new baby should... this led her to get a life threating infection that caused her to in bed FAR longer than taking three weeks off for the brand new baby!

    So take your time and sleep whenever you can with the baby you will get the hang of it!
    Rosemary 9-16-09 9lbs 11oz 21inches
    Laura K - FT SAHM at 17 months! and still comfort nursing for sleep


  10. #10
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    Default Re: New mom to a 4 day old

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*tara715 View Post
    Thanks everybody! I did decide to pass on the beach trip. Although it doesn't really make it easier, it is certainly nice to know that I'm not going crazy and that this is normal for most mom's. "The things they don't tell you when you are pregnant!!"

    I will be sitting on my butt all day today - thank the good Lord my mom is still here to wait on me hand and foot!!


    You're lucky to have your mom there!

    And yeah, why doesn't someone write a true book about what they early days with a new born REALLY look like?!?! I always get mad at the media's portrayal of new mommas who look etherial and serene in flowing gowns with peacefully sleeping babies beside them. Nope, the truth is you sit around on your butt for like 3 months before you can get anything done!!
    Jen - mom to 3
    DD who I FF
    I survived 10 painful mastitis infections and managed to nurse DS1 till he was 3 years and 7 months
    and now DS2 4 years now working on gentle weaning and


    "Pride is one of the seven deadly sins; but it can not be the pride of a mother in her children, for that is a compound of two cardinal virtues - faith and hope." Charles Dickens

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