Re: Pumping vs. breast feeding
Mama, if you give up nursing for exclusive pumping you won't be a failure. You won't not bond with your baby. But I still encourage you with all my heart to continue to nurse!!! It's so much easier in the long run. No bottles to wash, store, transport, warm, spill on the floor... No choosing between caring for the baby and maintaining your pumping schedule, no need to find a clean place with an outlet in which to pump when you're on the go...
Can you tell us more about your fear of feeding your baby? Is there an issue there (like a painful latch or something) that is causing you to dislike nursing?
And can we help you feel better about nursing in public? A lot of moms have trouble with it at first- but like everything about breastfeeding, it does get better with time.
One thing I would encourage you to do if you do feel like EP is the right way to go is to keep your options open. Keep the baby on the breast for a few feedings per day. That way he'll maintain his latching skills, and will still be able to nurse if you do decide to transition back to exclusive breastfeeding, or to combining breast and bottle feeding but doing more breast than bottle.
Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"