Re: Think I've come to an end ...
Mama, I have been where you are. 4.5 years ago, my newborn daughter's latch was so awful that by the time she was 2 weeks old, my poor flat nips had cracks that my very experienced LC called "the second worst I have ever seen." I shrieked every time she latched on. I hated breastfeeding. every feed took an hour plus, because my baby's latch was so poor that she could not transfer milk well. At least once a day I ended up in tears, swearing that tomorrow was the day I was going to switch to formula-feeding. I would just nurse the baby once last time, and then it would be all formula.
Mama, I stuck with it.
And I'm glad I did.
I'm not saying that's the right choice for you- but I think I can safely say that if you can hang in there, things will get better. So much of what goes causes a bad latch is just the tiny, tiny baby. A small mouth can't achieve a deep latch because it can't take a big bite of breast. But babies grow and their mouths grow. And if you can get the tongue-tie clipped, things should get a lot better.
When I was at the decision point, here are some of the things that helped me:
1. Exclusive pumping. Taking a few days off from breastfeeding allowed the awful cracks to heal just a little, and gave me the time I needed to rebuild enough energy to face nursing again.
2. Going to the LC, and going again and again and again until i felt that I had learned as much as I could.
3. Trying different nursing positions. In the end, side-lying was the only position that I could get even a marginal latch with, so I used it until my daughter was big enough to use different positions.
4. Remembering that breastfeeding isn't all or nothing. When I was bottle-feeding, I did a couple of nursing sessions per day. That let me keep my options open- as long as the baby still remembered how to latch on and nurse, I knew I could go back to nursing.
Hang in there, Mama.
Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"