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Thread: It's Not Fair

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
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    Out West
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    342

    Default It's Not Fair

    I think of all the babies that were weaned before they were ready and I can't for the life of me understand why my DD is weaning. I mean seriously, it isn't fair! For two days now, she has hardly nursed at all. I offer so many times during the day that it's almost humorous. She'll laugh and run over, suck once or twice, and be gone. She doesn't come back to nurse no matter how long I keep my breasts available. I have tried nursing when she is tired, nursing while she's playing, nursing when she's frustrated... She has stopped nursing before naps all together and tonight as I was getting her pajamas out of her drawer, she walked over to her crib, grabbed her blankie and curled up on the floor. Like she didn't even need me. It really broke my heart. I know you ladies have recommended not forcing her to nurse so instead of offering I cuddled her in the rocking chair before bed ... kissing her head over and over and shaking my head in disbelief.

    It's just not fair. I'm not ready for her to be done. I'm not ready to be finished.
    I'm Beth-
    Mama to L (7/14/09) and B (6/27/11).

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
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    5,883

    Default Re: It's Not Fair

    I have been where you and and it is HARD.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Vancouver, BC
    Posts
    1,687

    Default Re: It's Not Fair

    I'm Anna
    Proud mama to my 2 little high needs "koala bears":

    Ethan born 8/23/08
    Bfed for 22 months, weaned with love 7/2010

    Lucas, born 1/6/11
    Nursing strong for 19 MONTHS!

    Cloth diapering 1 full-time even though I'm constantly ! Currently in potty training mode. We also and

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Not around here as much :(
    Posts
    12,132

    Default Re: It's Not Fair

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*ethans-mommy View Post
    It might indeed be the end of this part of her life, but it might be a phase also - continue to be available to her but if it is the end, know you've given her a wonderful gift - one that will last a lifetime!!!! It's so wonderous that she is so secure she can fall asleep on her own! She has been given the gift of security... now...you can start to see little glimmers of light that is peeking through from the next chapter of your lives together...
    Click here to find an LLL leader near you...or call 1 877 4 LA LECHE for help now.

    "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
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  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Ohio
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    Default Re: It's Not Fair

    I hope it is just a phase!
    Michelle

    Wife to Donnie , my best friend
    Mom to Trenton 1/9/97, Dillan 11/22/01, Ashton 6/19/09

    All boys, weaned at 15 months, at home with Ashton

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Modesto, CA
    Posts
    47

    Default Re: It's Not Fair

    I teared up just reading your post. I can't offer ANY advice but just wanted to offer support. Lots of
    I'm my firstborn born 1/10/10, as well as , and . What an adventure!!

    Falling in love with this forum!!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Out West
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    Default Re: It's Not Fair

    Thanks for your kind words, everyone. I'm feeling better about it today. Our nursing relationship is what it is and no amount of pushing or coaxing on my part is going to make it "better". I found this article on the help pages and the part about the "self-soother" describes my daughter exactly. I also talked to my MIL last night (who introduced me to LLL) who told me her second (of seven) kids self-weaned at 14 months (she couldn't get anyone else weaned until 2-3 years). He is still the most independent of the kids to this day.

    The bright spot of my day was when DD lifted up my shirt to nurse. I think that is the first time she has done it. Ever. She must have known I needed her to need me. We're just going to take it one day at a time. She'll be done when she's done. And I'm going to be okay with it. Even if it kills me.
    I'm Beth-
    Mama to L (7/14/09) and B (6/27/11).

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    528

    Default Re: It's Not Fair

    I just wanted to say how sorry I am. I can really sympathize. DD2 only nurses when she is going to sleep and it has never been easy to feed her (she has reflux). She is only 9 mths and it looks like she is going to stop soon, she just doesn't like it. This breaks my heart cause DD1 self-weaned at 27 mths and just loved nursing. Its so hard to accept it but it is only a very small part of mothering and your lo will be very attached no matter how you feed her. I was formula fed and am VERY close to my mom. Also, DD1 still loves to snuggle and its nice ot know it just me she wants and not just the milk. I don't know if that helps or how old your lo is but I just wanted to let you know.
    Mom to Abigail, born May 3rd, 2007 (self-weaned at 27 mths) and Charlotte, born Nov. 24th, 2009. Both reflux babies and EBF. Charlotte weighs 31 lbs at 26 mths.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    2,586

    Default Re: It's Not Fair

    Aww, I am sorry. I did that to my mom when I was 13 mos. I fell and she offered me her breast for comfort and I just laughed at her. She said she offered many times more and I just didn't want it anymore. But we are very close and I have always felt loved by her. I have many wonderful memories of sitting in her lap reading. I know that's not the same and I'm not trying to diminish what you're feeling but just to say that whatever your daughter decides, you can have a wonderful close relationship.
    Nursed my sweet daughter 3 years, 3 mos.

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