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Thread: Weaning when neither mom nor bub wants to

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    6,564

    Default Re: Weaning when neither mom nor bub wants to

    Do you have someone who can help you out at bedtime? I'm in the process of nightweaning my daughter and my husband has been putting her to bed for about 6 weeks or so now. She wasn't too happy about it at first - but now she loves it and actually can't fall asleep nursing anymore. That makes naptimes when I'm alone with her annoying, but worth it.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Idaho
    Posts
    3,787

    Default Re: Weaning when neither mom nor bub wants to

    Allie
    Wife to T
    Mother to 4 crazy ones

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Maine
    Posts
    1,805

    Default Re: Weaning when neither mom nor bub wants to

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommy2lilah View Post
    I am so sorry. No one here would blast you for having to forcefully wean your son. It sounds like you are in a really tough place, I can't imagine being there. Know that the best thing for your baby is a healthy mama - so even if you can't find some way to take a medication that it is ok to nurse with, it is better for him to have you healthy than to nurse for two years.
    you've done such a good job making it this far, you should be supported not blasted!! I don't want to take away from the fact that it will be hard for you to wean earlier than either of you wanted. I'll keep my fingers crossed that your doctor will try the other treatment - and that it will work.

    I don't have any idea about weaning, but just wanted to offer support.
    Julia and Maxwell (and Dan and Haddie)
    Maxwell, born January 3, 2010
    A year on Mama's milk and still loving it

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    12

    Default Re: Weaning when neither mom nor bub wants to

    Thank you for all the positive messages. I will read the links on Dr. Gordon's method, and hope that it works.

    Last night was rough. I tried to cut out ONE night nursing session (he woke FOUR TIMES last night, eeeesh) and the one I tried to cut out was incredibly rocky. I rocked him, I patted him, I snuggled him, I explained over and over, "Nursies go to sleep. Jacob go to sleep, too." It took an hour and a half before he finally dozed off.... only to wake up an hour and start nuzzling and fussing. I gave in then - I need SOME sleep. And then a thunderstorm broke, so I just gave up and let him nurse until he fell asleep on the nipple.

    He loves to nurse. LOVES it. I am heartbroken about this whole stupid situation, even though I realize I am VERY lucky to have gotten almost 17mos of on-demand nursing with my little man.

    - E
    Erynne, a cloth diapering, breastfeeding, babywearing, co-sleeping first-time-mom to
    Jacob Connor (4/1/09) and wife to Chris (9/24/08).

    "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." - Albert Einstein

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    miles from nowhere
    Posts
    11,108

    Default Re: Weaning when neither mom nor bub wants to

    I'm sorry, mama. I know how hard it is to have to stop when neither of you are ready. I had to wean my son abruptly at 9 months because of his health issues and it was emotionally and physically very difficult for me. It is a good thing that you are able to take it a little more gradually.

    The Gordon method worked for me when I night weaned my daughter, like others I went at our own pace with it. She was about 18 or 19 mos old when we started. Once she was night weaned I stopped nursing her to sleep by telling her she could nurse while I sang twinkle twinkle 3 times, then I'd count down in between each repetition and tell her how many were left. After the first couple of nights she started popping off on her own when I finished the 3 repetition. My plan was to reduce the number of times I'd sing it slowly until she wasn't nursing to sleep anymore, but after a few weeks she just stopped asking (I was pregnant and I'm pretty sure I didn't have enough to keep her interested).

    During the days I just offered her distractions- a treat, snack, drink, toy, game, trip to the playground, etc. I usually tried to offer or just give the distraction before she asked, that way I wasn't telling her no. When she did ask I'd say "yes you can have milk in a minute, do you want _________ first?" Most of the time she wanted the distraction. If she did persist wanting to nurse I let her.

    Feel free to PM me if you want, like I've said I've been there and I know how hard it is so if there's anything I can do to help just let me know.
    Last edited by @llli*norasmommy; August 24th, 2010 at 10:55 AM.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    12

    Default Re: Weaning when neither mom nor bub wants to

    After e-mailing with Dr. Jack Newman, and having a nurse friend post on Dr. Thomas Hale's message board, I am feeling like the right course for us will be to nightwean Jacob, and to continue nursing in a "Don't offer, don't refuse" capicity during the day.

    I'm also going to join Dr. Hale's study in the InfantRisk Center for breastfeeding while on CellCept. Jacob isn't dependent on breastmilk anymore (since he's almost 17mos now) and the results might help other nursing mommies be able to breastfeed with confidence, or at least know that they SHOULDN'T nurse if they're on CellCept.

    I'm thinking of using the Dr. Jay Gordon method of nightweaning, and I will let y'all know how it goes.

    Thank you so much for all the sweet replies and the encouragement. I love how wonderful all the mommies out there are. <3

    - E
    Erynne, a cloth diapering, breastfeeding, babywearing, co-sleeping first-time-mom to
    Jacob Connor (4/1/09) and wife to Chris (9/24/08).

    "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." - Albert Einstein

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Vancouver, BC
    Posts
    1,687

    Default Re: Weaning when neither mom nor bub wants to

    The mamas here have already given you some great advice, so just wanted to offer you some s and support.

    with nightweaning!
    I'm Anna
    Proud mama to my 2 little high needs "koala bears":

    Ethan born 8/23/08
    Bfed for 22 months, weaned with love 7/2010

    Lucas, born 1/6/11
    Nursing strong for 19 MONTHS!

    Cloth diapering 1 full-time even though I'm constantly ! Currently in potty training mode. We also and

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    miles from nowhere
    Posts
    11,108

    Default Re: Weaning when neither mom nor bub wants to

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*pchuu22 View Post

    I'm also going to join Dr. Hale's study in the InfantRisk Center for breastfeeding while on CellCept. Jacob isn't dependent on breastmilk anymore (since he's almost 17mos now) and the results might help other nursing mommies be able to breastfeed with confidence, or at least know that they SHOULDN'T nurse if they're on CellCept.
    Wow, that's really great that you are willing and able to do that for other nursing moms and babies. I hope the idea that something positive may come out of your situation helps you feel better about having to wean sooner than you wanted.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

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