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Thread: Time to Stop...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    103

    Default Time to Stop...

    Well for part selffish reasons but other reasons I would like to stop breastfeeding and switch DS into formula. hes 5 months old, i'm a single mom, its just time. i know how to wean him into formula but i have no idea how much and how often he should get it. right now he eats every 2 hours sometimes every hour. hes a snacker. is theres another forum somewhere for formula fed babies i can ask them?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    Default Re: Time to Stop...

    I would think just keep feeding him on demand and see if he develops a pattern. I seem to remember that around 32 oz. in a 24-hour period is average, but I can't remember for sure.
    Have you thought about partially weaning him? That way he could still get some of the benefits but it wouldn't be such a burden on you. One of my best friends is a single mom of two-I admire you for sticking it out this long! But, if you can continue to BF at least part-time, you will maintain some of the benefits.
    For me, one of the major benefits has been fewer illnesses. This is shown from clinical research, but also in my own experience, I weaned my DS at 6 months and he was sick a LOT after that, recurrent ear and eye infections, croup, etc. DD has only had a couple of colds and she is 13 months old (still BFed).
    I know this is probably a big consideration for you as a single mom because when your child is sick, you probably have to miss work. Not to mention extra time off for doctor visits, sleepless nights, even (in our case) trips to the hospital (for the croup).
    I'm not trying to guilt-trip you at all, just offering some advice from my own experience. HTH!

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    259

    Default Re: Time to Stop...

    first off, hugs for being a single parent. i was for about 3 years, until i met my husband. i raised my first child alone until almost 3, went thru the pregnancy alone and everything, i understand the difficulties you face as a single parent. i also understand the difficulties and strain pumping can bring, i still work full time as a respiratory therapist, and we don't get scheduled breaks, i have to pump in a bathroom (if i can find time and one that is not in use, and god forbid i get paged or there is a code!), so i understand those difficulties. as pp stated, my questions aren't meant for guilt, just other opinions, take them or leave them. my first concern is what are the reasons that make you know it is time to wean to formula? maybe we can help if you are having specific problems or concerns. second, i have to agree about the difference in health for babies. my sil has a son who is 3 months older, and she has had him in the er at least 4 times with ear infections (up all night trips, horrible fevers,loss of work, ect...)but you have to look at the cons of formula, i would rather roll over in the middle of the night to nurse then get up make a bottle, warm it up (hope in my sleepy eyed state i measured out the correct ingredients and that it is the right temp) then have to wash it and sterilize it. i dread the xtra time i spend cleaning the 1 or 2 bottles of ebm my ds takes when i work, that is time i could be spending with my kids, not doing more chores...my sil is always complaining about having no bottles, always loosing them, having to constantly pay for formula and bottles and replacement nipples (her ds will literally bite off the top of the nipple-uhhh choking hazzard!!!) i may complain about pumping, but it is worth it on my days off when there is no pump in sight and i never have to run to the store for special water or formula or bottles or the like. if you are truly wanting to wean, i would try contacting your ped and finding out what formula to use and how, you may have a baby with allergies and you don't know that yet b/c of the breast milk. i know one woman i work with could never find a formula that didn't make her l/o sick!!! she really regretted not bf after her horrible 1st year. not to mention all of the hormones and feel goods you get from nursing, i know that one guy at my work always says to me go pump, you are too stressed out!!(just a joke, but he realizes that we do benefit from it!!) i know there are lots of times when i pick my lo up just to go to "our zone" when i am stressed out. 15 min later and i feel soooo much better! nothing like a good oxytocin release!!LOL!!!
    sorry so long, but if there are any specifics about your decision and you want to discuss them, let us know. i applaud you for your bf this long. i know how hard it is!!!! sorry i couldn't answer about the formula.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    103

    Default Re: Time to Stop...

    Hi,
    thanks for the responses.
    Well reasons i'm considering stopping, is for one i'm gonna have to try to go back to work soon. and it would be slightly an inconvenience pumping as I'm trying to get a job at a bank so really no where private to pump. Also I'm trying to have a social life again =P and i would like to now and again have a night out to myself and not have to worry about telling my date, be right back i have to pump my boobs they are starting to hurt. But also DS has a horrible spiting up problem, it may be reflux and i understand if it is formula isn't gonna help at all, but the few times DS has been away from me for extended time and was given formula he has never had a spitting up problem.
    Though I'm really considering keep breastfeeding because i dont want to wake up during the night to make a bottle. DS wakes up about 3 or 4 times during the night to eat. And I do realize the health benefits of it for both of us. I still haven't made up my mind

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    8,018

    Default Re: Time to Stop...

    You might try asking someone in HR at the bank whether they have anywhere for you to pump. I used to work at a bank when I had DS and I was able to use a private restroom with a chair and outlet.
    Also, this is getting pretty personal, but if you are looking to date someone with the possibility of a long term relationship, that person will hopefully understand the importance of your child in your life, right? I know that a lot of guys are jerks, but maybe “the pumping test” would be a good way to weed out the guys who aren’t worth your time...
    The choices we have to make as parents are not always easy, and sometimes we have to be a little bit “selfish” in order to keep our sanity! But it seems like weaning might cause as many problems as it solves. If you wean, you’ll be able to have a night out, but you’ll be up all night mixing bottles. If you wean, you won’t have to pump at work, but you’ll probably have to miss work more often due to baby being sick. Not trying to be a downer, but it just goes to show that weaning may not be the answer for you.
    As for the reflux,that is something that I know very little about. Maybe someone else has more info?

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    8,591

    Default Re: Time to Stop...

    Congratulations for sticking it out this long! I have been very lucky to not have to do the single parenting thing, but I have a friend that has raised 3 on her own, so I have watched from the sidelines for a very long time! It is very time consuming, and I can not even imagine the strength you have for doing it, and for breastfeeding to boot. The first months really are the most difficult.

    That said, I have to agree with the pps! I can understand you wanting to have a social life, and that pumping at work can be difficult (take it from me...I have had to be very creative in finding ways and places to pump). And I know the mess that I already have, what with washing 3 bottles a day and pump parts. But I have thought a lot about how many more dishes I would have to do if I were feeding dd formula--it woudl be at least 3 times as much! And I would have to warm bottles when she woke in the middle of the night 3 or 4 times, have to make sure we had bottles when traveling...have to find good water or carry water to mix formula, not to mention the cost of formula. And, I know that dd has been so healthy because she has been breastfed. The other baby at the sitter's has been sick 5 or 6 times since dd was born and dd has yet to come down ill!

    I am absolutely not trying to make you feel guilty. But there are possibly many reasons not to wean, and I just want you to consider them before you wean and regret it. And Molly is right...it would be a good indicator of a man's integrity if he didn't respect the relationship you have with your lo!

    Erin
    Wife to a grizzly
    Mama to my little deer (12/05) my loving bear cub (9/07--), and our little tiger (3/22/10)
    Born by one c-section and 2 amazing VBACs


    Miles in 2012: 350.5/900 (Actual Miles Ran: 189)
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    Miles in 2010: 800.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 620)

    January Miles: 37.5/75
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    227.5 miles on my new shoes
    338 miles on my old shoes

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    259

    Default Re: Time to Stop...

    zoey,
    i know all too well about trying to get back into the dating world while having a child. i really think that my hubby and i have had only one 2-day weekend away at camp to ourselves in over 4 years-and my oldest was with his dad then!!! i dated one other guy for awhile before i met my husband, and our first date, to say the least, was an absolute disaster. my ds was only a little over 1 year at the time, and the only place i ever went without him was to work, and he went to daycare there!!! so, a very crabby 1 year old on a first date was not what he expected, but to give him credit, he tried for a few months, i just wasn't ready...it is very hard to trust again. i still don't like leaving my babies for dh and i to go on a date, but i am learning that a few hours without the babies will help my marriage!!LOL!! i do agree that it is a horrible position to be in, and one bit of advice (i wish i would have known) don't change your lifestyle to fit ANYONES-a man, a boss, no one. you are you, if they don't accept you, move on!!! i know this may be too personal of advice, but you need to know that the choices you make concerning you and your baby are YOUR choices. i compromised ALOT of my parenting ways at first with my dh when we started dating b/c he never had been around children and its not the way his mom saw fit (like co-sleeping, extended bf, ect...) i wish soooo badly i could take that time back with my oldest, it goes by so fast and they will be grown up before we know it!!so, stand your ground, and make your parenting choices the norm for you and your family!!! i agree with mollyb., whoever it is that you do date needs to understand how important your child is to you, whether bf or ff. don't ever feel like you have to hide your choices, have confidence in yourself, after all, you are one amazing mamma!!!! keep up all your good work!!! we are here for support!!!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    280

    Default Re: Time to Stop...

    Here's a comment that's not going to make you want to pack your bags for that guilt trip (sorry ladies)

    Congrats on doing all of this as a single mom. I've barely made it even with supportive dh! I'm planning on starting to wean dd soon too. I'll admit it - it's selfish. For over a year she has been feeding off of me in one way or another, and I would like my body back. She does not nurse well in public, so I either have to pump and take a bottle (which for me feels more complicated than pouring formula into bottles at night and taking 2 minutes to heat it up) or make sure I'm home in time, which is getting to be a real pain. DD is starting day care soon too.

    Maybe you should try the partial weaning. That's what I'm going to do. DD nurses about six times over a 24-hr period, so I'm going to try to give her formula at day care, then nurse her at home.

    I wish us both luck. I know how hard a decision this is - trust me, I've been back and forth over it. I know it's best for dd, but nursing her has really increased my isolation, and I'm really tired of that. At some point it has to be about us too.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    259

    Default Re: Time to Stop...

    i never intended to give anyone a guilt trip, , and i do applaud each and every one of us for bf!!! it is hard enough to have a new baby, but to (to quote you) have your lo "feed off of you" for any amount of time is a whole different level of selfless love that we as mothers share! each mommy has to do what is right for her and her family, i don't think that any of us have meant to pass judgement. there are MANY times that i think, well, wouldn't it have been easier if i did as my sil and ff, her ds goes to bed (with bottle) by himself and will sleep for 10 - 14 hours WITHOUT WAKING ONCE!!! but then i think of those bleary eyed middle of the night cuddles and the many trips to the er she has had at 2 am with her son, and i am thankful for my choice. as a previous single mom, it is hard!! it is hard with support, let alone by yourself!! do what you feel is right, we are here to support you!!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    651

    Default Re: Time to Stop...

    In response to Nissa's comment :"I know it's best for dd, but nursing her has really increased my isolation, and I'm really tired of that. At some point it has to be about us too"

    I think, even though it doesn't seem like it now, that continuing to bf would actually be more " about you" than stopping. Yes, bf takes time, but the money and time wasted/spent on formula, doctor's visits, missing work, heating bottles, washing bottles would add up way more than nursing

    My sister just found out she's pregnant with twins yesterday...these will be #'s 7 & 8 for her!!!! And they're all 8 and under!!!! She weaned her first at 3 months....her youngest just weaned at 11 months because mom's milk supply went dry from the twins....I don't even want to go into all the health problems/differences between the two and the money she had to spend on the first verses the youngest. And she didn't have a job to worry about.

    I can't imagine what you're going through...I've considered quitting before and I'm definitely not in your situation. Hugs to you no matter what you do, you're a good mama and we all know that.

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