This is probably more of a rant then anything but I am seriously touched out with nursing lately. It upsets me that I feel that way but I need to cut down a but. This 12-20million times a day is really wearing on me.
DD is super high needs and has been since she was born. She want's to nurse all.the.time. She can NEVER just sit on my lap or beside me and not nurse. I am in school and I don't have anyone to pass her off to at any point during the day. It's me and her from morning till night and the only break I get is school. It doesn't help that she has decided naps are not important for a 19 month old and is an absolute TERROR starting about 6pm. She often wakes up at 7am and wont fall asleep till 10:30pm and inbetween still wakes up 6-8 times to nurse. I swear some mornings I want to just throw her off of me. I just want to be able to sleep without her being attached to my boob the whole time or without someone pinching and yanking my nipples.
To top it all off she doesn't eat solids hardly at all. Ped says theres nothing wrong with her, her weight is great etc. But I really NEED her to be able to eat sometimes because otherwise I feel like I can't cut back on nursing. For example today she ate a pickle and 4 blackberries and 1 peice of bacon. Thats all for the whole day. I offer foods all the time and she just screams and shakes her head.
Ok so like I said this is more of a rant but what do I do? I don't want to wean. That's not really an option. I would like to cut down but how do I do that when she still relies on nursing so heavily not only for comfort but nutrition as well? I've tried giving her milk in a sippy cup or with a straw and she spits it out. She will sometimes drink water or juice but less then 2oz everyday. I feel like such a bad mama for being so resentful but as she's nursing right this moment twiddling like crazy, hitting me and laughing and doing gymnastics I really want to just lock her out on the balcony