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Thread: i'm not sure what to do.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
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    Default i'm not sure what to do.

    i'll be going to the mainland (indiana) for 2 weeks with dd by myself in a couple of months. she'll be almost 2. she is still nursing every 2-3 hrs during the day, and usually once at night. always before naps and bedtime.

    dilemma: i REALLY REALLY want to go to a colt's game that would require me being away from dd for roughly 6-8 hrs (8 would include tailgating, which i really wanna do), but more importantly, that duration would include naptime. my parents have offered to watch her, and she knows/likes them, but we never get to see them, so she's not SUPER comfortable w/ them, and i think that she would really want me when it came time for a nap. she doesn't take EBM in cups, and idk if i should think of trying a bottle for them to give her when she'll be almost 2...? but she will be really sad without mama there at naptime for her "milse". should i just say screw it, she'll be sad, but she'll be fine at almost 2 years? i mean, i know that nutritionally, she is FINE without bm for that amount of time at her age, but i just feel... so bad!

    btw, i'm a SAHM, totally attached to dd/vice versa, and have never left her with anyone (as in a sitter) outside of dh and a close friend for a short time.

    do i need to just let go and have fun? or is it bad for me to be away from her during a time when i KNOW she's going to want to nurse? i'm so torn.

    any feedback is helpful.. TIA!
    the best food blog you aren't reading

    i'm beth, mama to:

    lila, 11/6/08, nursed until 2yrs 10 mos, weaned during pregnancy

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    max, 2/16/12, my huge new little nursling

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Default Re: i'm not sure what to do.

    Well, I am the worng person to be replying casue I dont go ANYWHERE without DD, or if DH isnt home to be with her. And that is RARE and only for a very short time.

    I am going to be taking my son to a Wiggles concert in a month, and it is about 45 minutes to an hour away from my home. I DEBATED with leaving DD with DH, casue I just dont know how she wil act at the concert. but I just wont be able to be that far from her for that amount of time. I figure it will be at least 3-4 hours with travel and all.
    She still nurses all day and night, and would probably be OK with DH. But I just cant go thru with it! I think, what if she is really upset, and wants to nurse? So she will be attending the concert too!

    good luck with whatever you decide!
    Mommy of 4,
    3 who I watch over, 1 who watches over all of us

    J- 8/20/05 pumped breastmilk for 11 months due to his cleft lip and palate!

    M- 10/17/07 my precious baby lives forever in her mommys heart

    M- 3/31/09 my special gift, she helps heal her mommy and daddys heart. Nursed for 4 years and 10 days, self weaned the day her baby brother was born!

    E-, new little miracle born 4/11/13, my BIG baby! Born 8.6 at 38 weeks. At 9 weeks nearly 17lbs, at 12 weeks nearly 20lbs, at 6 months nearly 23lbs, at 8 months nearly 25lbs and all from BREASTMILK


  3. #3
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    Oct 2006
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    Default Re: i'm not sure what to do.

    Beth, how long will she have to visit with your parents and settle in before you go?

    I wouldn't fly in, dump her there that afternoon and take off. But if she has time to adjust and is comfortable with your parents, then YES I think you should go.

    I left Ben overnight with my parents (who he is extremely comfortable with) when he was 19/20 months old. He was also nursing (although not every 2-3 hours). I was really stressed about it. Ya know what? He was fine. In fact, when I got back, he barely acknowledged me because he was so busy having fun.

    At that point, I hadn't left him for more than several hours here and there either.

    ETA~ Where in Indiana? How far from Michigan? We could meet at the outlet mall
    Last edited by @llli*shannon75; July 21st, 2010 at 06:32 AM.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: i'm not sure what to do.

    She might be fine if you are out of sight out of mind. She might nap for them as well, you never know. Would it be awful if she didn't nap though? Alot of times now my DD doesn't nap unless I'm there. She's 25 months.

    I never left her for more than 4 hours. I work but I go home for lunch. There have only been maybe 3 days where my mom took her somewhere when she was watching her and I didn't get to see her for lunch. She was fine and she napped.

    There was also one time where I left her for 12 hours. I had to go to my aunt's house alone because she was teaching me how to sew and I couldn't do it with her there, but I was going to make stuff for her. She was fine and was actually in bed when I got home. I didn't get engorged or anythign, but brought my pump with me just in case. I was a little upset she didn't miss me as much as I thought she would
    Proud mom of 2:
    DD 5/2008 nursed for 3 years and 3 months.
    DS born 8/2011 nursing like a champ

    Sorry for the short responses...always, always, always NAK or holding a baby

  5. #5
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    Default Re: i'm not sure what to do.

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*shannon75 View Post
    Beth, how long will she have to visit with your parents and settle in before you go?

    I wouldn't fly in, dump her there that afternoon and take off. But if she has time to adjust and is comfortable with your parents, then YES I think you should go.

    I left Ben overnight with my parents (who he is extremely comfortable with) when he was 19/20 months old. He was also nursing (although not every 2-3 hours). I was really stressed about it. Ya know what? He was fine. In fact, when I got back, he barely acknowledged me because he was so busy having fun.

    At that point, I hadn't left him for more than several hours here and there either.

    I think you'd feel a lot better about it when you know that she's comfortable.
    SAHM to all my boys

    Wyatt 2/23/99
    Isaiah 7/11/00
    Hunter 2/9/10- made it through our dairy allergy!
    and loving from afar, my DSS Kaleb 3/30/97

  6. #6
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    Default Re: i'm not sure what to do.

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*dara View Post
    Well, I am the worng person to be replying casue I dont go ANYWHERE without DD, or if DH isnt home to be with her. And that is RARE and only for a very short time.

    I am going to be taking my son to a Wiggles concert in a month, and it is about 45 minutes to an hour away from my home. I DEBATED with leaving DD with DH, casue I just dont know how she wil act at the concert. but I just wont be able to be that far from her for that amount of time. I figure it will be at least 3-4 hours with travel and all.
    She still nurses all day and night, and would probably be OK with DH. But I just cant go thru with it! I think, what if she is really upset, and wants to nurse? So she will be attending the concert too!

    good luck with whatever you decide!
    I just read your response. I thought I should warn you about the Wiggles If your daughter has any issues with loud noises, bright lights, lots of strangers and general chaos, you may want to reconsider leaving her with your dh or try just let your hubby take your son (or perhaps if you are really lucky, get an extra ticket near where your already purchased seats are.) If she has any sensory issues at all, it would be far more upsetting for her to be at the concert than at home with daddy. We took Kate to see them when she was 2 1/2 and Bennett was an infant. He screamed the entire time when he was in the arena. We had to take shifts with him in the hallway. It was definitely sensory overload. My own ears were throbbing after we left.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: i'm not sure what to do.

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*shannon75 View Post
    Beth, how long will she have to visit with your parents and settle in before you go?

    I wouldn't fly in, dump her there that afternoon and take off. But if she has time to adjust and is comfortable with your parents, then YES I think you should go.

    I left Ben overnight with my parents (who he is extremely comfortable with) when he was 19/20 months old. He was also nursing (although not every 2-3 hours). I was really stressed about it. Ya know what? He was fine. In fact, when I got back, he barely acknowledged me because he was so busy having fun.

    At that point, I hadn't left him for more than several hours here and there either.

    ETA~ Where in Indiana? How far from Michigan? We could meet at the outlet mall
    ooo me too

    I agree with Shannon. If she has some time to warm up to your parents, I think she would be okay for the day. She will surprise you with how well she does, I bet!


    I'm Heather, SAHM to Cooper , born 1/2007
    and Bennett, our precious NICU grad born 8/2009
    and wife to Bill since 10/2003!
    We're young, but we know we can do it!
    Life with the Stevens-blog

    I'm an Ergo Baby Carrier affiliate!

  8. #8

    Default Re: i'm not sure what to do.

    Beth,
    I think so long as you can arrange that it is not your first day there she'll be fine. Maybe skip out to the grocery store for a few so she knows you will leave and come back?

    I don't really have an answer but some more questions... you said you really, really want to go. And then in the same breath you said that you know she'll be "FINE" and then your question became not whether or not your DD would be ok with your folks but instead whether or not it was ok that you really, really wanted to go to a football game. I think this is a question that you have to answer for yourself. When you're a very attached mama it is a little unsettling when you start to feel the pull to just be you for a handful of hours, to be separate. You start to wonder what that means and almost fear that if you leave it won't be the same when you get back. It will be. She will love you just the same. And you will be glad to be home, and very glad to have a little bit of time just being you. So, ask yourself what are you really worried about? What do you actually feel "bad" about?

    You want to go to a football game, drink a few cold beers and eat a hotdog. Not take off for Vegas, and freebase some cocaine with a bunch of floozies (not that there's anything wrong with that hahahahah!) Give yourself permission to have a good time. And then reevaluate whether or not you think your dd would be ok with your folks for 8 hours. Just make sure your looking at the right questions.

    Mother to Emily June, b. Sept 18, 2005 and Lucy Quinn, b. 1/20/2012

    “Buy the ticket, take the ride."
    Hunter S. Thompson

    Excitement on the Side: Who doesn't love a confident woman with long boobs...

  9. #9
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    miles from nowhere
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    Default Re: i'm not sure what to do.

    I pretty much agree with Kelly. If she has a few days to get used to your parents I think she'll be just fine. Kiddos at that age tend to be really attached to the boob when it's there and when it's not there...it's not.

    I left Nora overnight with DH when she was about 19 mos and we were both really afraid how the night would be since she nursed pretty much all night at the buffet, but she was perfectly fine, woke less than usual and didn't even take a bottle when she did wake. She saw I wasn't there and just went back to sleep.

    If there are other kids there or new things to look at and play with I bet she'll have a great time. Maybe your parents could take her somewhere and do something fun with her to distract her for a few hours, too.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  10. #10
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    Default Re: i'm not sure what to do.

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*hls02 View Post
    I agree with Shannon. If she has some time to warm up to your parents, I think she would be okay for the day. She will surprise you with how well she does, I bet!
    I say as long as your LO has some time to adjust to your parents and get to know them, she would be fine! I know my DD LOVES spending time with my parents, she talks about them all the time. And as far as naptime goes, I bet she will surprise you... I know my kids will go to sleep in different ways for different caregivers... When my DD was around 14-18 months, I was still rocking and nursing her to sleep with her pacifier. But at daycare they were patting her to sleep while she laid on a cot, no pacifier. And she went to sleep just fine both ways! I bet your LO goes to sleep for your mom and naps for her.
    IRL all my friends call me Buff, Wife to CB since 10/11/2003

    Mom to DD - "MJ" born 9/2007 @ 8lbs 10oz, 21.5" She's 6 years old!
    My journey nursing MJ started HERE, but we got through it and she breastfed 19.5 months, self-weaned on 5/17/09


    Mom to my current nursling, DS - "ME" born 10/2009 @ 10lbs 1oz, 22.25" He's 4 years old! And yup, he's still nursing.

    Ask me about my successful VBAC! Click here for my birth story.



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