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Thread: Working through the emotions of having an older nursling

  1. #11
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    Default Re: Working through the emotions of having an older nursling

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*sixyearplan View Post
    Sorry to but you are triandem nursing?
    IRL all my friends call me Buff, Wife to CB since 10/11/2003

    Mom to DD - "MJ" born 9/2007 @ 8lbs 10oz, 21.5" She's 6 years old!
    My journey nursing MJ started HERE, but we got through it and she breastfed 19.5 months, self-weaned on 5/17/09


    Mom to my current nursling, DS - "ME" born 10/2009 @ 10lbs 1oz, 22.25" He's 4 years old! And yup, he's still nursing.

    Ask me about my successful VBAC! Click here for my birth story.



  2. #12
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    Apr 2008
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    Good ole ATX y'all!
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    Default Re: Working through the emotions of having an older nursling

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*sixyearplan View Post
    Sorry to but you are triandem nursing?
    WSS! wow you are a superhero!
    Jen - mom to 3
    DD who I FF
    I survived 10 painful mastitis infections and managed to nurse DS1 till he was 3 years and 7 months
    and now DS2 4 years now working on gentle weaning and


    "Pride is one of the seven deadly sins; but it can not be the pride of a mother in her children, for that is a compound of two cardinal virtues - faith and hope." Charles Dickens

  3. #13
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    Jun 2008
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    Default Re: Working through the emotions of having an older nursling

    Ok, I have to join in on the supermom thread to the mom nursing 3 and say...

    OH MY G....

    That's stinkin amazing!

    I'm Erica

    Mommy to "C" - currently 3 and half years old
    - nursed for one year

    and mommy to "M" - currently 2 years old
    - nursed for 23 months

    Wife to my handsome DH for 5 and a half years!

  4. #14
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    Nov 2006
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    751

    Default Re: Working through the emotions of having an older nursling

    All of you need to stop! I never planned on triandum nursing - it just happened.

    (But thank you for the support, it is very appreciated)

  5. #15
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    Default Re: Working through the emotions of having an older nursling

    That is totally awesome! (and makes me feel this small for whining about being nursed out! ) I don't think I could even handle 3 children (haha 2 for that matter!) let alone nurse them all.

    I definitely have been setting limits lately, but I am just not sure how rigid to be about it. I've always been pretty go-with-the-flow with DD concerning nursing, sleeping, etc. It would probably benefit her to start adding more structure to our lives at this point. I'm just so undisciplined myself. So I hate making absolute laws, because I know I won't always want to be consistent about enforcing it. But I'm getting tired of being embarassed by DD when she starts yelling for nummies, then starts screaming if I tell her no. And if I do sleep times, what do I do when we're out of the house at naptime and I'm planning on her sleeping in the car, or on vacation, etc. What do you do if you're gone all day long? It just still seems to help her so much if she's tired and emotional but I can't get her to a place to sleep immediately. I understand that I can get her to not nurse outside the house, but how do I get her to quit asking for it so loudly and adamantly? She is so persistent and determined. She'll change the world someday, I swear!

  6. #16
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    Default Re: Working through the emotions of having an older nursling

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*chargermom View Post
    My DD just turned 4. She nurses in the morning and at night and often when I get home from work (5:00ish). She knows that she cannot nurse in public even though both her little brother s can (DS1 = 2; DS2 = 3 months). She also knows that she is not suppose to nurse when she falls and gets a bumped head, scrapped knee, etc - although I admit I break the rules depending on the accident.

    I am really getting tired of nursing her (in a way). We have talked for months about how she will wean when she starts pre-school in August. However, this makes her sad and she will even look at me with tears in her eyes and tell me she doesn’t want to wean. I try to make it sound fun by talking about extra hugs and getting to do big girl stuff (this doesn’t seem to help). I guess I struggle with stopping nursing her on my terms when she is clearly telling me she still needs it. On the flip side - oh my goodness she is 4 and I’m nursing 3 people.

    So, I stay at the really firm limits stage right now. Good luck!
    To you for nursing three people. But just wanted to chime in and say that IMO and IME.....the beginning of preschool is already so scary and different....It didn't seem like the right time to me. I also want to tell you that I had a goal. And it was Feb. After his 4th Bday in Dec and after we got back from our Trip to Hawaii.....he wasn't ready. And once I let go of it....the feeling of not having that pressure was a huge relief. And 4months later we got there. Shh.....The last time I nursed DJ was one day after he turned 4.5 years old. Its been a week and two days. (Knock on Wood) What a difference those 4 months have made. HE is ready too! We had a definitive end and I literally see him walking off into the sunset with his big boy self. I am down for limits. And I can't begin to imagine what your life is like with three nurslings.....but I wonder if it wouldn't be MORE difficult if you had to watch two other people get to when you couldn't....Does she have to go sleep in a big girl bed too? I want to encourage you to set MORE limits and still honor that need to connect with you while assuring you that her OWN END will probably not be far behind the one you think you have. Even if it's just once a day to connect with you. And tell you about her day. Once a day where you can still get that feeling and want to cover your first baby with kisses. And still catch a glimmer of that baby that used to be. It will be come once every other day...and then it will be gone for good.

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mama.p View Post
    That is totally awesome! (and makes me feel this small for whining about being nursed out! ) I don't think I could even handle 3 children (haha 2 for that matter!) let alone nurse them all.

    I definitely have been setting limits lately, but I am just not sure how rigid to be about it. I've always been pretty go-with-the-flow with DD concerning nursing, sleeping, etc. It would probably benefit her to start adding more structure to our lives at this point. I'm just so undisciplined myself. So I hate making absolute laws, because I know I won't always want to be consistent about enforcing it. But I'm getting tired of being embarassed by DD when she starts yelling for nummies, then starts screaming if I tell her no. And if I do sleep times, what do I do when we're out of the house at naptime and I'm planning on her sleeping in the car, or on vacation, etc. What do you do if you're gone all day long? It just still seems to help her so much if she's tired and emotional but I can't get her to a place to sleep immediately. I understand that I can get her to not nurse outside the house, but how do I get her to quit asking for it so loudly and adamantly? She is so persistent and determined. She'll change the world someday, I swear!
    Kelly I just want to caution you here. If she starts to throw a fit that is grounds to LEAVE. NOT GIVE IN. Doing so means your child is running things. And that causes power issues in the relationship. Don't get angry. Just leave. Lay down the law very matter of factly. She is asking loudly abnd adamantly because she has learned that doing so will get her her way. Teach her that the OPPOSITE of that is true. You can set clear limits Kelly. And stick to them.

    Way too lazy for formula

  7. #17
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    Default Re: Working through the emotions of having an older nursling

    Believe me, I am not caving when she does it. She just does it anyway. She will literally scream and beg for half an hour for something, when she knows that no means no and we've never caved with her when she has a fit. I honestly have no idea what it's going to take for this kid to finally quit testing, because it doesn't do her any good. That's why I said she's gonna change the world. She's unnaturally persistent.

  8. #18
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    Default Re: Working through the emotions of having an older nursling

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mama.p View Post
    Believe me, I am not caving when she does it. She just does it anyway. She will literally scream and beg for half an hour for something, when she knows that no means no and we've never caved with her when she has a fit. I honestly have no idea what it's going to take for this kid to finally quit testing, because it doesn't do her any good. That's why I said she's gonna change the world. She's unnaturally persistent.
    Do you get up and go when out in public? Or just try to ignore her while she screams. IME the silently picking them up and taking them home is the single MOST effective thing you can do. And it's hard to do. Because you have stuff you want to do. And You work so hard to get out in the first place. But the resounding lesson in picking up and leaving is "You CAN NOT be out in public if you can't exercise self control. Period."

    Way too lazy for formula

  9. #19

    Default Re: Working through the emotions of having an older nursling

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*djs.mom View Post
    What a difference those 4 months have made. HE is ready too! We had a definitive end and I literally see him walking off into the sunset with his big boy self.
    I love that....the readiness, the image of him walking off into the sunset with his big boy self..............
    Mama to Lorenzo, born 4/25/2007. NICU graduate, Gastro-Esohapgeal Reflux, Obstructive Sleep Apnea, Sensory Processing Disorder...alive and thriving thanks to breastfeeding and co-sleeping.

    Those who say it can't be done should not interrupt the person doing it.
    Chinese Proverb

  10. #20
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    Default Re: Working through the emotions of having an older nursling

    I totally agree with pp. about tantrums. I've caved before and it just makes it that much harder the next time b/c even if you take her home the next time, she thinks she can get away with it and will test you. TAKE HER HOME EVERY TIME. Which you may be doing already... JMHO - I have a strong willed 3.5 year old and a strong willed 2 year old at home all day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I'm Erica

    Mommy to "C" - currently 3 and half years old
    - nursed for one year

    and mommy to "M" - currently 2 years old
    - nursed for 23 months

    Wife to my handsome DH for 5 and a half years!

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