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Thread: Torn about weaning/ Questions after a PPD haze

  1. #1
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    Question Torn about weaning/ Questions after a PPD haze

    This could be long. Sorry. But I think you are the ladies to help.

    I have a history of eczema and developed food allergies in my early 20's. When I became pregnant I decided to hold off solids for a year in hopes of keeping him from the horrible experiences I had.

    After his birth we struggled with BF but a lovely lactation consultant helped us get back on track. We did just well and he was at his highest in the charts around 6 months. He was 17 lbs. I remember his doctor visit at 8.5 months was about 19 lbs. 9.5 months was a little more, aroudn 19 lbs 8 oz. Around 9 moths I remember he didn't fall asleep breastfeeding anymore and sometimes would be unsettled, like he was still hungry. He'd finish quickly and even my breast wouldn't get as hard and they were softer before feeding. At 10.5 months concerned with his weight around 19.4. The doctor wasn't concerned, but I knew my little guy wasn't getting what he used to. At almost a year he is finally back up to 19.8, where he was 2.5 months ago!

    So I was going to begin supplementing (I didn't have the energy to pump and work to keep it up- I had done that for a month prior when he was a tiny one). I began to have panic attacks about his weight and health issues, worrying about whether he was developing normally. I basically freaked out. Looking back, I think my supply dipped (both times) from stressing about my marriage. All the time. I felt unhealthy physically and mentally. I finally saw my lac. con. and she told me I was dealing with PPD and anxiety and said it was more important for me to wean than it was for my 11 month old to get breast milk. I felt the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders. His sustenance and nutrition wouldn't hang on my body's ability to produce milK! I had been trying to hard to get this kiddo to eat more that I would stress about going places like the store because he would be too distracted to eat. I was getting to the end.

    So the problem is twofold:
    1.) I pushed solids off so long (first bite at 8 months but he wasn't eating solids even everyday until 11 months old) that I feel like he isn't interested. He's lost that avid curiosity. I feel terrible thinking I have created a bad attitude toward food for him (Looking back I realize I was fearing in my PPD haze putting anything non-organic into him and I didn't have the energy to drive to the store if I had forgotten to pick up any organic food for him so he just didn't have anything but my milk) I really fear this is going to be a struggle. It woudn't be a big deal but I don't have much of a supply for him. Any tips on getting it back?

    2.) I am torn about weaning. I would love to give him another source just to ease my mind about his weight. He needs a happy mama,not a anxious mama almost looking for something wrong with him! I don't want to wean too quickly because he doesn't eat much solid food and I am just beginning to get him to accept his goat's milk (which I think he is showing a sensitivity to). The whole point was to get him eating enough and now I feel like i have even LESS milk than before and he's not taking additional nutrition very well. I began the goat's milk two weeks ago at 11.5 months and he will be 1 year in a few days. What is my best option for feeding him now?

    Thanks for listening. It's just not suppossed to be this way. I was so happy breastfeeding him and so proud of it finally working, us working together! I just wish it weren't ending so badly. I think this is hard for him all of a sudden being bombarded with food at every meal and sippy cups. I hate how this is happening but I am having a hard time smoothly transitioning.

    Thanks for any advice you have and if you read it all, you deserve a medal.
    Last edited by @llli*junebaby; June 25th, 2010 at 08:24 AM.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Torn about weaning/ Questions after a PPD haze

    Oh dear, I just saw there was a weaning section. Oops. I probably should have put it there.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Torn about weaning/ Questions after a PPD haze

    To be honest everything you've described sounds like a normal pattern for a breastfed baby. Your breasts naturally don't get as full as your baby gets older because your body learns to produce exactly what your baby needs- no more, no less. His weight sounds great and it's normal for the rapid growth of the early months to slow significantly after 6 months. The unsettled behavior you describe sounds like it could have been a growth spurt.

    I definitely understand the anxiety of worrying if your baby is getting enough, growing properly, etc. But it doesn't sound like YOU really want to wean. It sounds like the anxiety of weaning seems to be affecting you as much as, if not more than the anxiety of continuing to nurse. Obviously it's hard to tell for sure from a post on the internet so I could be totally off on that.

    If you want to continue nursing, you can!

    If you want help in dealing with how to wean, you can get that here as well.

    I think you should try to let go of the anxiety of feeling like you HAVE to do either. Nurse when you feel like it or he seems to want it. Give him solids when you don't. At this age your supply will adjust and be there when he needs it. If he nurses 3-4 times per day and eats some solids he doesn't need any other source of milk. When you're dealing with allergies many moms find a lot of comfort in knowing that their breastmilk is giving their baby the nutrients he needs so they don't have to really push solids so much.
    Last edited by @llli*norasmommy; June 25th, 2010 at 08:30 AM.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Torn about weaning/ Questions after a PPD haze

    with Paige.

    Have you considered talking to someone about your anxiety? It can help.

    For me continuing to breastfeed beyond one eased my anxiety about my DD not eating. I knew that even if she didn't eat enough, or eat well-balanced that the gaps were being filled by the perfect food - my milk.
    Proud mom of 2:
    DD 5/2008 nursed for 3 years and 3 months.
    DS born 8/2011 nursing like a champ

    Sorry for the short responses...always, always, always NAK or holding a baby

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Torn about weaning/ Questions after a PPD haze

    Thank you. I don't mind nursing but I just hate the fact that he pretty much has stayed the same weight for 3 months. I do realize some of those things were normal but he was also batting at my breast and pulling and began to super-switch nurse on his own around the same time. (Pretty impressive that these little guys know what to do)

    I don't really want to give him milk because it can be so allergenic if that's his main source. In fact, when I added milk regularly back into my diet around 6 months I noticed his perfect skin began to get a few faint bumps around his body. After a week of goat's milk he got tons of flat reddish bumps up his torso and chest. And he couldn't sleep last night.

    So, no, I don't really want to because there's not a good alternative. The best alternative is solids but he only eats rice puffs, black beans (!) and peaches. I wish he'd eat more. If he were a chunk I think I'd feel like I had the luxury of not worrying about him getting enough, but this kiddo doesn't have a whole lot of fat to bear (of course the babies I compare him to are sitting in carts full of infant formula. There is a difference in intellect and emotion and I am having a hard time getting over that!)

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Torn about weaning/ Questions after a PPD haze

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*babygirl05 View Post
    with Paige.

    Have you considered talking to someone about your anxiety? It can help.

    For me continuing to breastfeed beyond one eased my anxiety about my DD not eating. I knew that even if she didn't eat enough, or eat well-balanced that the gaps were being filled by the perfect food - my milk.
    I am seeing someone for that. It has helped tremendously.

    I am nursing 8- 10 or so times a day though to keep it up and it takes tremendous effort to do so, especially when out. This is what makes me nervous. Either I have to bump up my supply or just supplement.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Torn about weaning/ Questions after a PPD haze

    Weaning doesn't always help them eat more. My first DD weaned, didn't eat more solids, and just got skinnier. It was really sad actually. It's totally normal or a one year to not eat much in the way of solids. My DD ate a bite of food at that age. Now at 20 months she is eating a little at every meal and snacks. And she even says she is hungry. I feel good knowing that she has breast milk to give her good fat and calories when he doesn't eat, because she is skinny and doesn't have a lot of fat stores. I would feel even more strongly about it if she had dairy allergies.

    There are PPD meds, such as Zoloft, that are compatible with BF.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Torn about weaning/ Questions after a PPD haze

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*junebaby View Post
    Thank you. I don't mind nursing but I just hate the fact that he pretty much has stayed the same weight for 3 months.
    My little guy has been the same weight for the past 6 months that I know of and I suspect it was a little longer than that. He is 15 months old and is the same weight he was at his 9 month appt. He still nurses quite a bit and is kind of picky on solids (except mac and cheese ) I know you are upset about it and worried but it really can be normal especially if he is growing in height and/or moving more.
    Jessica

    Moma to DS1-the monkinroanie (3/09) and DS2-the sweet pumpkin (5/12)
    Strong Women- May we have the delight of knowing them, the courage to be them and the privilege of raising them.
    And yes I know my spelling terrible (is that spelled right? )

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Torn about weaning/ Questions after a PPD haze

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*rcsmom View Post
    I know you are upset about it and worried but it really can be normal especially if he is growing in height and/or moving more.


    If he's becoming more mobile- either walking or crawling- that can cause weight gain to stall or slow. Neither of my kids was 20 pounds at a year, they are both on the low end of the percentile chart, but as long as they are withing the range of normal I don't worry.

    At this age so many things can make them act funny at the breast: teething, illness, working on new milestones, distraction, growth spurts. Try not to worry too much (I know, that's always easier said than done). it really sounds like you are doing fine.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Torn about weaning/ Questions after a PPD haze

    I agree with the pps about weight. My DS wasn't high on the charts either and stayed the same weight for several months after he became mobile around 6 months. Then he gained very very slowly from there on b/c he started walking at 9 months, he never stops moving and didn't eat much solids. He still doesn't eat much now at 2 and a half. He nurses once in the day and around 3-5 times in the night still. And he was the same weight for almost a year till he just started puting on some weight recently. But his development was on track and he continues to grow in length. So all is well. Would I like him to eat more food? Sure. But you can't force them to. All you can do is offer.

    Trust your baby's instincts to know when he's hungry and thirsty. Offer high fat and calorie foods because each bite counts. Avocado is good, put oil on everything. Ground meats, chicken and turkey are good mixed with rice.

    But most of all realize that you are not failing somehow as a mother if your baby's weight doesn't rise on the charts. It's not a contest. Look at the whole child, is he energetic, meeting milestones? If so he's probably fine.

    Have you had his iron checked? We have struggled with iron levels and I see that E will eat more if his iron is at a good level. Would be worth it to check that out, it's a simple finger prick at the doc's.

    FWIW *I* wouldn't wean. I'd just continue to offer solids during the day every few hours and let the BM fill in the gaps. Not only do you risk losing the great nutrition from BM if you wean, you lose the protection of the antibodies and that's so important during the second year and beyond.

    I did bend rules to get E to eat for a while. I let him take his food to a cool tray that we bought him and eat in front of the TV yes I know I'm horrible. Of course we don't do that now that he's gaining better. But he would eat much more volume if I made it more fun than sitting at the table. We also had a child size table and chairs that we let him take his plate to, we had picnics inside and outside, I let him walk around with one of these filled with food:

    http://www.amazon.com/Munchkin-Snack.../dp/B001GVZVBU
    Jen - mom to 3
    DD who I FF
    I survived 10 painful mastitis infections and managed to nurse DS1 till he was 3 years and 7 months
    and now DS2 4 years now working on gentle weaning and


    "Pride is one of the seven deadly sins; but it can not be the pride of a mother in her children, for that is a compound of two cardinal virtues - faith and hope." Charles Dickens

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