This could be long. Sorry. But I think you are the ladies to help.
I have a history of eczema and developed food allergies in my early 20's. When I became pregnant I decided to hold off solids for a year in hopes of keeping him from the horrible experiences I had.
After his birth we struggled with BF but a lovely lactation consultant helped us get back on track. We did just well and he was at his highest in the charts around 6 months. He was 17 lbs. I remember his doctor visit at 8.5 months was about 19 lbs. 9.5 months was a little more, aroudn 19 lbs 8 oz. Around 9 moths I remember he didn't fall asleep breastfeeding anymore and sometimes would be unsettled, like he was still hungry. He'd finish quickly and even my breast wouldn't get as hard and they were softer before feeding. At 10.5 months concerned with his weight around 19.4. The doctor wasn't concerned, but I knew my little guy wasn't getting what he used to. At almost a year he is finally back up to 19.8, where he was 2.5 months ago!
So I was going to begin supplementing (I didn't have the energy to pump and work to keep it up- I had done that for a month prior when he was a tiny one). I began to have panic attacks about his weight and health issues, worrying about whether he was developing normally. I basically freaked out. Looking back, I think my supply dipped (both times) from stressing about my marriage. All the time. I felt unhealthy physically and mentally. I finally saw my lac. con. and she told me I was dealing with PPD and anxiety and said it was more important for me to wean than it was for my 11 month old to get breast milk. I felt the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders. His sustenance and nutrition wouldn't hang on my body's ability to produce milK! I had been trying to hard to get this kiddo to eat more that I would stress about going places like the store because he would be too distracted to eat. I was getting to the end.
So the problem is twofold:
1.) I pushed solids off so long (first bite at 8 months but he wasn't eating solids even everyday until 11 months old) that I feel like he isn't interested. He's lost that avid curiosity. I feel terrible thinking I have created a bad attitude toward food for him (Looking back I realize I was fearing in my PPD haze putting anything non-organic into him and I didn't have the energy to drive to the store if I had forgotten to pick up any organic food for him so he just didn't have anything but my milk) I really fear this is going to be a struggle. It woudn't be a big deal but I don't have much of a supply for him. Any tips on getting it back?
2.) I am torn about weaning. I would love to give him another source just to ease my mind about his weight. He needs a happy mama,not a anxious mama almost looking for something wrong with him! I don't want to wean too quickly because he doesn't eat much solid food and I am just beginning to get him to accept his goat's milk (which I think he is showing a sensitivity to). The whole point was to get him eating enough and now I feel like i have even LESS milk than before and he's not taking additional nutrition very well. I began the goat's milk two weeks ago at 11.5 months and he will be 1 year in a few days. What is my best option for feeding him now?
Thanks for listening. It's just not suppossed to be this way. I was so happy breastfeeding him and so proud of it finally working, us working together! I just wish it weren't ending so badly. I think this is hard for him all of a sudden being bombarded with food at every meal and sippy cups. I hate how this is happening but I am having a hard time smoothly transitioning.
Thanks for any advice you have and if you read it all, you deserve a medal.