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Thread: Five Year Old Wants To Try Nursing Again

  1. #1

    Default Five Year Old Wants To Try Nursing Again

    I have a 10 month old nursling. My now five year old was four when baby was born. He asked to try my milk early on and I wasn't sure about it, so I gave him some in a cup. I realize now he did really want to try nursing again. He was weaned at one year too quickly from my unexpected hospital stay. Long story short...I've carried a lot of sadness from that experience. Now five, he has been acting out and I sense he is very jealous when baby nurses. I talked to him about it and I asked if he wished he could BF. He said yes very quickly. I told him when he would like to try to let me know. He asked if anyone else his age BF and I said yes but they might not say they do.

    Is this a typical situation? I wish I would have let him have a go at it right when baby was born. It's all bringing out tough weaning memories for me. Just want to make good guilt free decisions at this point.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    5,593

    Default Re: Five Year Old Wants To Try Nursing Again

    I have no idea if this is typical but my then 6 year old also wished to nurse after his baby sister was born, and continued to ask occasionally for over a year. In our case, he had nursed a long time and weaned entirely on his own volition at age 4 and a half, so in his case it certainly had nothing to do with weaning early or anything.

    I was surprised about my ds wanting to nurse after being weaned for so long, but after I thought about it a bit it made sense. He also wanted to be put up on the changing table and have us help him change his clothes, and the day we brought baby home from the hospital he sobbed until my husband cradled him and carried him around the car and gently strapped him into his booster the way we had so gently placed his newborn sister in the car.

    At first I resisted, but after several months I decided to let him nurse when he asked. He was so happy, I too wished I had just let him do so sooner. He seemed to enjoy being allowed to but was not really able to nurse effectively any longer, and depending on his mood he might pretend and say "yummy milk" or be honest and say "I can't get anything out." His 'nursing' was always very short, it did not become a regular thing, and it was not a big deal to me if it had. I cannot remember the last time he asked. For us it went the way so many things seem to go- meet the need and the need goes away.

    In our case his intense jealousy of his sister surprised me, but he also was much more intensely fascinated with her than his older brother was. My older son was a great help but had little interest, while my younger son wanted to help with everything including diapers.
    Now that he is 8 and his sister is two things are leveling out and they have a lot of fun together.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Five Year Old Wants To Try Nursing Again

    I can't thank you enough for responding. A giant weight feels lifted from me just from reading your similar experience. I realize I was getting a bit over emotional about this from my own issues of him being weaned too soon.

    So true with ds wanting us to put his clothes on, snuggle and carry him out of the bath, rock him cradle style and carry him from the car into the house once dd was born. I love the "meet the need and the need goes away" because it's so true! I can move forward more confident now that you've helped me clarify my feelings about him trying to nurse. I'm totally fine filling this need for him just like any other need.

    The jealousy for ds has also been tough. With that said, I see it getting better each day as he too is excited to see her change and grow :-)

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    5,593

    Default Re: Five Year Old Wants To Try Nursing Again

    I am glad my response was helpful!

  5. #5

    Default Re: Five Year Old Wants To Try Nursing Again

    My 4.5 year old really wants to feed too. I weaned her on her 3rd birthday and she has always missed it. I have a 2 year old and she is jealous that he is still feeding and she isn't. I say no to her - I used to let her have 'pretend mummy milk' for quite a while when she was getting over weaning, but now I say no to that as well. Totally normal and entirely up to you whether you say yes or no - I know someone who is still feeding a 7 year old and a 5 year old tandem - it is not out of the ordinary, just depends on your tolerance levels!!

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