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Thread: Weaning Determined 2.5-year-old

  1. #1

    Question Weaning Determined 2.5-year-old

    I need advice. My lil guy is almost 2.5 years and I still nurse him to sleep, when he's sick, for cuddle time, etc. He still really counts on it and I actually don't mind. But you know how it goes...you nurse after 2 and people start judging and making comments. My husband in particular wants me to wean. Yet, he offers zero advice on how to do it, but just continually tells me to wean. So I need help. How do you wean a determined, smart 2.5 year old boy who loves to nurse still? Thanks in advance for your help

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,566

    Default Re: Weaning Determined 2.5-year-old

    The easiest way to wean is to let your child wean on his own timetable. Believe me, he will not nurse forever! One day he will just forget to nurse, or you will offer and he will refuse. This does happen, I promise! The hardest thing about it is dealing with the busybodies who think that a nursing relationship between you and your child is somehow their business.

    If allowing your child to self-wean is not something you want to do, the second easiest way to wean is to adopt a "don't offer, don't refuse" approach to nursing. With a DODR approach, if baby asks to nurse, you let him, but you don't offer to nurse if he doesn't ask.

    If DO DR is still too slow for you, you can combine it with limits on how, when, and where nursing may take place. This will require you to do the following:
    - Communicate the limits, for example "We are not going to nurse in the grocery store. We will nurse when we get home," or "You can nurse until I count to 10, and then it is time to be done."
    - Offer plenty of healthy solids and beverages, and make sure you offer snacks in between meals. Toddlers and young children generally need to eat small meals frequently.
    - Get help. When you want to skip a nursing session, have someone else take charge of your child. That could mean having dad handle bedtime, or take primary care of your child while he's sick. Dad is probably going to hate this, because- News flash!- your child is very likely to resist and ask for mom. It's not easy, and in fact taking this approach might help your husband understand why nursing is such a benefit to the while family. When mom is nursing, dad can kick back during a lot of high-pressure situations. Tired toddler needs to go to sleep, cranky toddler is making a fuss, hurt toddler is in need of comfort, sick toddler won't eat solids but needs to eat something? Mom and her breasts can handle all those situations! But imagine dad trying to handle a tired, cranky, hurt, or sick toddler without the ability to nurse- it's not going to be easy for him. He might realize that if he stops haranguing you about weaning, he won't have to up his game.

    I am firmly in the camp of "She who has the breasts makes the rules." So if you like nursing, I think you should feel 100% free to tell people where to stick their opinions. (Hint: the sun does not shine there.)
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    6,170

    Default Re: Weaning Determined 2.5-year-old

    Well I could not say it better than mommal! If you wish to keep nursing, no reason to wean.

    I also have a 2.5 year old and the just the thought of weaning her is exhausting. Luckily I am under no pressure to wean her.

    There are two excellent books about weaning. They not only have lots of helpful tips on how to move weaning along (should you wish to do so), they explain how weaning happens 'naturally' as well.

    These books are called The Nursing Mothers Guide to Weaning and How Weaning Happens.

    If there is a LLL meeting near check that out for more support on taking the weaning process at your own pace. Talking to a LLL Leader on the phone is another source of information and support.

    Jack Newman has a nice short article about toddlers and nursing. http://www.breastfeedinginc.ca/conte...agename=doc-BT

    Every reputable child health organization in the world suggests nursing continue for as long as mother and child wish. None place an upper age limit on nursing duration, even as a suggestion. There is a simple reason for this- there is not a shred of evidence that nursing an 'older' child is harmful and plenty of evidence it is normal and beneficial.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    416

    Default Re: Weaning Determined 2.5-year-old

    What mommal said, 100%.

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