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Thread: Going back to work, help!

  1. #1

    Default Going back to work, help!

    My DS just turned one and is almost exclusively breastfed. He nurses every two hours. He hates solid foods (We are working with a feeding specialist) He never took a bottle, I offer him formula in a sippy cup 2-3 times a week and he drinks a only an ounce or two when he is really very hungry(I stopped pumping and started giving him formula as he does not drink much anyways and the expressed milk used to go down the drain). In the past year I have never been away from him for more than two hours and the frequent nursing and refusal of other foods was never an issue. Now I need to get back to work in a month and I dont know what to do. I have tried distracting him and tried to make him go longer between feeds but his urine indicated that he was dehydrated. So I think he needs to nurse round the clock. DH is not patient enough to try the cup in my absence and I dont have any family around. Not sure if its a good idea to leave him with a baby sitter and let that stranger feed him. I just want him to eat or drink other foods while I'm away.
    Also want to know how breastfed babies do at a daycare. DS needs the breast when sleepy, tired, hurt, bored. I really feel guilty about going back to work and depriving him of the one thing that he loves so much. Help!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    5,608

    Default Re: Going back to work, help!

    Hi abysmom. First I would suggest, give your self a break. If you going back to work at this point is unavoidable, it is unavoidable. If you going back to work is not unavoidable, then you can consider the logistics and financial impact of making a different choice. But either way, guilt is not going to help you during this transition period which will be hard enough anyway. I think too many moms take on too much guilt, and its usually the moms who have nothing to feel guilty about!

    An otherwise healthy one year old is unlikely to allow themselves to starve or dehydrate to death as long as they are given regular access to food and water. If there is some physical barrier to your child being able to eat and drink, that is one thing and would require a specialist as you are working with I guess? But nursing is pretty good training for eating-- in other words, a baby who has nursed well for a year is pretty well set up physiologically to eat and drink normally. This does not always mean they will eat and drink when, what, or how much those around them expect. Did you know it is common for appetite to decrease at around 12 months?

    I would suggest, since your baby is mostly living on breastmilk at this point, that you DO pump at work in order to 1) Maintain normal milk production and 2) to have at least some breastmilk to be given baby while you are at work. There are many ways to prevent waste, starting with storing (freezing) milk in very small increments, offering very small amounts at a time, and saving 'leftovers' in the fridge until the next feeding which is fine with breastmilk but not recommended with formula.

    I would also strongly recommend the book "My Child Won't Eat" by Carlos Gonzalez. It is not about making a child eat, although it has many ideas about how eating issues may occur and how to avoid them. But primarily it is about what is normal when it comes to nursing, bottles, and eating solids.

    Ideally, whoever you leave your child with needs to have enough patience to take care of a very young toddler properly. This basically means the patience of a saint. But since a saint coming along is unlikely, at least someone who understands this is a difficult age and can figure out how to roll with it.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    198

    Default Re: Going back to work, help!

    No advice, but I return to work on my lo's first birthday and have similar fears! I've started pumping so I can leave milk with the child minder - I don't respond well to the pump so am giving myself time to slowly build a stash and have started to introduce expressed milk - she is shoving it away but it's only been a couple of days. Am trying to get DH to give it so she isn't like 'Mum, just give me the breast'

    Babies/toddlers can have animal milk at 1 too if you want another option to try!

  4. #4

    Default Re: Going back to work, help!

    I didn't go back to work, but I did have a daughter with feeding issues similar to yours - she didn't eat solids at all until she was 2. There were various reasons for this, some physiological, but one of the reasons was that I had a copious oversupply of milk and she clearly didn't see any need for any other nutrition. When she was 2 I got pregnant and my milk supply dropped - it was at that point that she started eating other foods. The point I am trying to make is that you can trust your little one to get the nutrition they need in alternative ways as and when your milk isn't there to sustain them. The book recommended above is an absolute must have - it saved me from a lot of worry over dd's diet and nutrition. Good luck and don't feel guilty about anything - you are working hard to do your best for you and your family

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