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Thread: Depression

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    40

    Default Re: Depression

    Hi there- I know what you are going through and having depression makes everything so much harder. My dd is 5.5 months now and I finally decided when she was 4 months to take Zoloft. I was suffering from postpardum and have always been dealing with depression on and off my whole life. I am taking Zoloft and BF and it has helped so much. I feel better. i would feel better if my dd would just sleep a little longer at night...LOL.

    Maybe you can get dh to help after you get home from work to take a break - take a long bath or go out for a walk. You need some time for you without having demands and pressure put on you. Be easy on yourself and know this will pass

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
    Posts
    17,374

    Default Re: Depression

    Krista,
    I just wanted to add...something you may want to look at/look into is that some of us have experienced something I've heard referred to as "let down blues" which I know for me was much worse when I was pumping than when I was feeding but I experienced it while feeding too. It may explain why it has gotten worse since you are back at work and pumping several times a day? I had never had any issues w/ depression and had a hard time explaining to people what I was feeling during letdown...after reading here I was able to put my finger on it. It was anxiety! Just something I'd thought I'd share because it after your initial blues things seemed to have intensified after your return to work and w/ the pumping. It got better on it's own at around 4months. I hope things get better for you!
    Shelly

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    1,967

    Default Re: Depression

    All I have to say is that if I had to leave my LO and return to work I would be crying like a baby too. Breastfeeding creates such a bond and how hard it must be to transition into not being near your sweet baby like you are used to. I think that most of what you are feeling are things we have all felt before. It does not change how difficult in can be though. And with some of us, you can just shake off the blue feelings so easily. They stick around and become "clinical depression". In my experiences with depression, I would beat myself up for allowing myself to be depressed- see the vicious cycle? Keep doing WHATEVER you need to do to get support, and don't be afraid to ask for it. I am sure that you know this having struggled with depression before, but it does get better. It is just good to be reminded of that because it is easy to forget when we are in that little "black hole". That is what I like to call it anyway. Hope that you start feeling better very soon!

    Misty
    Loving my two sweet girls Audrey (7/18/06) and Annie (6/18/09) Baby #3 due to appear 8/5/10

    Feel free to ask me about my successful HBAC , food allergies, cloth diapers, and the joy of having a high-needs, non-sleeping little dear who has grown into a wonderful preschooler.

    Blogging here.

  4. #14

    Default Re: Depression

    I've very little to add that has not been said already.... you asked for help. And that is the toughest part of getting the ball rolling towards feeling better, as you know. Hang in there, you are not alone. Not even close.

    Maybe your strength has encourage someone else to get help, too? You're stronger than you know.
    Mother to Emily June, b. Sept 18, 2005 and Lucy Quinn, b. 1/20/2012

    “Buy the ticket, take the ride."
    Hunter S. Thompson

    Excitement on the Side: Who doesn't love a confident woman with long boobs...

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    232

    Default Re: Depression

    Thank you ladies so much for your support and encouragement. I'm starting prozac tonight and hoping that works well for me. I'm considering trying to convince my DH that I should quit work. He told me before I went back that if I didn't have a student loan payment that he felt like we could afford for me to stay home....well, my student loan is deferred until february, so maybe that would make it possible for me to stay home until she's 8 months old. We'd save bunches in childcare, gas, eating out, etc. I'm going to have a long talk w/him tonight. My eyes are still burning from all of the crying I've done today, but I'm sure that will calm down once I get some sleep tonight.

    Well--I have to run and pump, then wash the parts and get my bag packed for tomorrow--hoping to be in bed by 9:30.

    I love you guys!! Thanks again!
    Krista
    Krista
    Wife to Barney
    Mommy to Justin Reed
    Mommy to Ada Grace (7-7-06) 7 lbs 14 oz, 20 lbs 14 oz at 1 year


    Our little Angel, Henry James, grew his wings December 14, 2007

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    232

    Default Re: Depression

    Okay--so here's an update--kind of, and a vent.
    Why does idiocy reign supreme in my family? If I've heard 1 time since Monday that, "well, you've given her 3 months of BM, I guess now's the time to start feeding her formula." I've heard it 20. I know that my family is trying to be supportive and give me an out, basically enable me to fail and feel good about it--but that's not what I need or want! Why don't they get that this is what I NEED to do for my baby, and that I'll be okay--especially now that I am on medication to help with the depression? I seem to be doing a little bit better--I know the Prozac hasn't started working yet, but DH has been an absolute sweetheart, calling to check on me at work, asking what he can do to help--I love him more every day! I just wish everyone else in my family were as supportive and understanding instead of trying to help me fail gracefully!!

    Thanks for listening to my ramblings--I appreciate all of the support you ladies have offered in the last 3 months, and I'll continue to rely on you for the next 9 to get Miss Ada Grace to her 1st b'day on BM only!
    Krista
    Wife to Barney
    Mommy to Justin Reed
    Mommy to Ada Grace (7-7-06) 7 lbs 14 oz, 20 lbs 14 oz at 1 year


    Our little Angel, Henry James, grew his wings December 14, 2007

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    8,591

    Default Re: Depression

    I think that was the worst thing for me...was that everyone in my family just felt like that was enough...3 months of ebm. They all said that I was formula fed and I turned out okay. I feel like that is not the case, at least in total. I am always sick...have been since I was a child. And I have a weight problem...although I work to control it, I know I have an eating disorder of the overeating kind. I have asthma (partly because my mother smoked when she was prego with me and for the first 7 years of my life, but also, I feel, because I have allergies relating to formula). So that was my response to the, You turned out okay suggestions. My mother was very supportive, because she had always wanted to breastfeed, but no one, including dh was...he just htought it would be "easier" to switch to formula. So, I know what you are going through...but stick with it. You know what is best for Ada...you and your dh!

    Erin
    Wife to a grizzly
    Mama to my little deer (12/05) my loving bear cub (9/07--), and our little tiger (3/22/10)
    Born by one c-section and 2 amazing VBACs


    Miles in 2012: 350.5/900 (Actual Miles Ran: 189)
    Miles in 2011: 708.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 509)
    Miles in 2010: 800.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 620)

    January Miles: 37.5/75
    February Miles: 59/75
    March Miles: 42.5/60
    April Miles: 64
    May Miles: 41/70
    June Miles: 59
    July Miles: 39.5

    227.5 miles on my new shoes
    338 miles on my old shoes

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    131

    Default Re: Depression

    You are so smart to identify that dynamic of *helpful* people encouraging you to fail. They may be well intentioned; but at some point we all have to LISTEN to what our loved ones are saying. If I say, "I need out, help me comes to terms with that" that is one thing... its a whole other ballgame when you say: " I WANT to do this, no matter how hard, tell me I CAN".

    It's a lesson for us moms too. One day, we will see our kiddoes trying hard to do something that (maybe we even believe in) we think is just too hard... but if they want it, we just have to cheer or shut up!

    So, here's my cheer to Krista!! Go Go Go. Because you want to do this for your child, and because it is a good, good thing, and because you can do it... I cheer you on!

    Jeanne

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    2,726

    Default Re: Depression

    I am not very experienced in being a mother, but I am a veteran in emotional imbalances. I have panic disorder and can really, really relate when you use the word "guilt." I have felt guilty over things that I needn't, throughout my entire life. Let me first say that I really hope you are feeling better. After feeling so low, hopeless, and out of control, the light at the end of the tunnel is all the more refreshing. (This too comes and goes, and I know how devastating it can be to get depressed again after feeing better for a while!)

    I am sure breastfeeding means a great deal to you, but I do not think you should feel guilty if you have to quit. You need to take care of yourself as well, and if that means weaning to take medicine, or whatever other serious reason you have, that just means your baby will have a happy, more healthy mommy. Formula is the next best thing to breastmilk and the truth is that a baby can grow perfectly healthily on it.

    If you want to continue breastfeeding, kudos on your sacrafice & commitment- remember that you can pull through the hard times!

    BUT I personally understand clinical depression. If you don't WANT to, there is nothing wrong with that. Don't beat yourself up for it- you need to be healthy, too!

    Don't feel pressure or guilt either way---Make the decision that is right for YOU.
    Best of luck and *hugs*
    Last edited by JustSasha; October 4th, 2006 at 08:54 PM.

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: Depression

    Quote Originally Posted by justin's mama View Post
    "well, you've given her 3 months of BM, I guess now's the time to start feeding her formula."
    I read through this entire thread and don't have much to add, other than I kept hearing this too. I was told that since I was suffering from PPD, I should stop nursing "because you need your space" and that formula was OK. "Most kids are raised on formula, and they turn out just fine."

    What these people don't understand is exactly what you said later .. . you NEED to do it. That was the main bond at the time with my child, and if I had stopped, I don't know if I would have stuck around. And I totally disagreed with how formula could be healthy. That didn't make sense to me as a medical professional.

    The other part was financial for us. We chose for me to stay home. I walked away from a very lucrative career to stay home 100% for the first year. Doing so nearly halved our income. It's HARD to make it work. But if I had had to buy formula on top of cutting our income, that could have been the the straw to break the camel's back. But the people who were telling me to stop nursing didn't understand that.

    Try to not let those comments frustrate you.

    And sit down and calculate how much the childcare, gas, work clothing, meals out, literally everything that could possibly be connected to your working is, and you may find it's almost as much or as much as a student loan. But you could see in hard facts just how much you are contributing and see if it is worth it to continue working or if you would be better off emotionally and perhaps financially to quit for a while.

    Oh, and it's safe to breastfeed while on Prozac. So don't worry about it.

    Hang in there!
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

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