Hey girls--I know I can count on you ladies for some advice and support.
Moderators--if you feel this would be more appropriate in a different area, please feel free to move it!
Here's the deal...before getting pg for DS 3 years ago I was on Prozac for 3 years for clincial depression. I stopped taking it as soon as I got my BFP and have never been back on any meds. I went through a good case of baby blues w/him, but nothing more. I have started to feel myself coming unhinged for the last couple of weeks--since I returned to work. Today is my worst day yet as I just went to pump and cried the entire time. I just can't stop crying now. While I'm typing this, I have to keep wiping tears to be able to see what I'm typing. I feel like I've got a major case of post-partum kicking up, and with my history, that's not all that surprising. The problem is, I feel like it's worse because I'm BF....am I wrong for this? The guilt of leaving bottles and my baby is almost unbearable. I feel like I want to pick up my personal belongings, walk out of this building and never come back---which would make my DH have a complete heart attack seeing as how me staying home w/the kids isn't going to come close to paying the bills. I have no vacation time available because I just got back from maternity leave, we don't have sick time where I work, and I've exhausted my FMLA....the only possible way to get paid is LTD which I wouldn't qualify for for quite a while.
What should I do? Unfortunately, I'm an emotional eater, so I keep catching myself eating things that are really bad for me and Ada Grace just to make myself feel better, which doesn't work at all--I end up feeling more guilty for giving her bad stuff through my BM and I've started to gain back the 50 pounds I had lost.
Any help you guys can offer would be much appreciated!! Thanks!!