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Thread: help!, how do I deals with other peoples comments?

  1. #1

    Default help!, how do I deals with other peoples comments?

    Hi,
    I am currently breastfeeding my 8 month old son Jackson, the problem is the last few week I have heard several comments (from my mother, husband, bff and complete strangers!) pretty much telling me that I should stop breastfeeding him because he's too old to be nursing! I breastfed my first 2 children until they were about 8 months old, but intend on breastfeeding Jackson until at least is first birthday (so another 4+ months) Do you guys have any advice on dealing with other peoples comments and unwanted advice?



    oh and another thing they are saying he's too heavy (his dr. says he's just fine) and that's another reason I should stop, he's 8 months old and 27lbs...

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Northern Pizzaland
    Posts
    604

    Default Re: help!, how do I deals with other peoples comments?

    ooohhh old story!!!
    well DS is nearly 11 mos and he's still BFing almost exclusively!
    and the ped and some relatives say that's why he's so small!!!
    so you see people can say everything and the opposite but you really should ignore all their comments.if your baby is happy and healthy I don't really see why they have to worry and give stupid advices
    if you want you can print out some info about BFing from this site or from AAP or OMS and give them to the people that are closer to you.
    you are doing the best for your baby,so if you can't convince them jou just have to stop listening!
    I'm Lisa,SAHM to M. 5/14/09 my velcro boy!

    we made it to 19 mos!!! no end in sight
    always and (I'd like to have a just LO and mom cosleeping smilie...)
    food sensitivity to dairy,apple and orange
    we just started to put cloth on
    if I'm here I'm
    love this forum!!!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    216

    Default Re: help!, how do I deals with other peoples comments?

    I will usually do the 'thanks, pass the . . . " tool. Someone says something I don't agree with and I don't want to argue, so I'll say something like "Thanks, I'm sure that worked great for you, would you pass the potatoes, please. . ." Usually works like a charm. Sometimes I have to pull the complete change subject card, like "Wow, you really only wieghed 28 lbs at 8 months, that's great, OH, by the way, have you been out to the library, lately, heard they have some new books. . . ." You are doing the best thing for your child, just let it roll off your back. . . .
    Hi, I'm Cyndie. Married my , Tony.

    Lydia--15 mo and still nursing

    Brenden--6.5 yo bf for 6 months

    Preston (SS)--13.5 yo

    Brittany--12.5 yo bf for 6 weeks

    "You are not a pacifier; you are a Mom. You are the sun, the moon, the earth, you are liquid love, you are warmth, you are security, you are comfort in the very deepest aspect of the meaning of comfort.... but you are not a pacifier!" -- Paula Yount

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    1,106

    Default Re: help!, how do I deals with other peoples comments?

    With strangers, you just have to let them say what they are going to say and laugh about it. Now, with your DH I would print out info for him and tell him all the benefits of breastfeeding.
    Michelle

    Wife to Donnie , my best friend
    Mom to Trenton 1/9/97, Dillan 11/22/01, Ashton 6/19/09

    All boys, weaned at 15 months, at home with Ashton

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Conway
    Posts
    369

    Default Re: help!, how do I deals with other peoples comments?

    people told me i should wean when DS got teeth and started biting. i just smile and say, "i'm way too stubborn to quit. he gets at least a year."
    Ham-Holder, SAHM to Elliott, 07/12/2009
    , , , and now cloth diapering
    loving it when baby to me!
    http://mommasdinner.blogspot.com/

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    19,889

    Default Re: help!, how do I deals with other peoples comments?

    You can ignore people, or you can educate them. If you want to educate them, the following links may be useful:
    - When to Wean
    - Breastfeeding and the Use of Human Milk (note that the AAP recommends breastfeeding for a minimum of 1 year, and as long thereafter as long as both mom and baby are willing)
    - WHO breastfeeding info (note that the WHO recommends breastfeeding for a minimum of 2 years, and as long thereafter as long as both mom and baby are willing)
    - Extend Breastfeeding's Benefits
    - Fat and Energy Contents of Expressed Human Breast Milk in Prolonged Lactation
    - Unraveling Breast Milk

    IMHO, the only person aside from you whose opinion matters when it comes to nursing is your DH's, because when mom and dad disagree over nursing it can cause problems. So I would make sure he reads up on the benefits of extended nursing.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    46

    Default Re: help!, how do I deals with other peoples comments?

    I have a similar situation with my 7 month old. People try to convince me that I should stop since its been more than 6 months. "the baby has her own immune system" they say. I have to tell you that as a healthcare provider it is very hard to hear that people are so opinionated about when to stop breastfeeding. I had been telling people that " why change something that is NOT broken....we enjoy it and it gives us one-on-one time together". Who can say anything to that?

    I have felt people's opinions starting to drag me down recently, though. I've thought about go to a meeting just to find some more local support.

    Hope that helps.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    49

    Default Re: help!, how do I deals with other peoples comments?

    Ignore everyone except your DH. With him - I would ask what he wants to do instead of BF? 8 months old, baby can't POSSIBLY get everything from solids. So does he want you to wean to formula? Has he thought about the expense and mess of that?
    That's what my husband realized on his own at 6 months, was that if we weaned then we were weaning to formula and that was dumb. So now we're on the 2 year plan.
    Proud Mom of Guinevere Rose 7/11/09.
    We are loving this whole new world!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    1,106

    Default Re: help!, how do I deals with other peoples comments?

    [QUOTE=@llli*momblebee;915260]I've thought about go to a meeting just to find some more local support.
    QUOTE]

    yes, go. Series meetings are great. The moms will be very supportive. I look forward to them every month!
    Michelle

    Wife to Donnie , my best friend
    Mom to Trenton 1/9/97, Dillan 11/22/01, Ashton 6/19/09

    All boys, weaned at 15 months, at home with Ashton

  10. #10

    Default Re: help!, how do I deals with other peoples comments?

    Thank you all for your help and advice, I showed my DH all the info in those links and he's now on my side... as for everyone else, I'm thinking of printing out some of the information and carrying it on me, and when people have something to say I'll just hand out an info sheet


    Thank you all again!

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