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Thread: Out of ideas...trying hard to not want to give up

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
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    818

    Unhappy Out of ideas...trying hard to not want to give up

    I am totally running out of ideas to keep DS from biting. He just did it again...and my nipple is bleeding...again. He'll be a year old on the 23rd of this month. I know he's teething...he's been biting me other places too which I'm working on. I've got 2 big bruises on my shoulder from it! I've tried pulling him in tighter so he will let go...he just pushes with all his might away from me while still biting down...ouch!!! I try to watch for when he might bite, but it's never at the same time...sometimes in the beginning...but usually toward the end. I never see a sign that he's going to bite. I've also tried unlatching him and putting him down and saying that biting hurts mommy. When I set him down he just cries...which I don't like I'm just so frustrated right now and people I talk to here say...he's almost a year..just wean. Well, I don't want to, but it looks good sometimes. He doesn't eat more than a bite of food a day so the breastmilk is totally his nutrition so I know weaning isn't the answer, but I'm sooo ready to just do it...especially after this last bite today! Please talk me down from wanting to quit
    Melanie

    Mom to
    Matthew born April 2009
    Jonathan born March 2011
    loving and

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    NE PA
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    Default Re: Out of ideas...trying hard to not want to give up

    Sounds painful moma. I only have one suggestion. When my son was about 7 months old he bit me a couple of times. When he did it I yelled "ouch" loud enough to startle him. Every time he teared up and got a little upset but he only did it 4 times. Now I would caution using this route becuase of two issues- he could think it is funny. You will have to judge if you think he will get a kick out of it or be upset by it. number two is if he is a very sensitive kid I have heard that this approach could cause him to go on a nursing strike. *I* personnally didn't have either one of these problems and now at over a year I have no fear that he is going to bite me and he hasn't bitten me in over 4 months.
    Jessica

    Moma to DS1-the monkinroanie (3/09) and DS2-the sweet pumpkin (5/12)
    Strong Women- May we have the delight of knowing them, the courage to be them and the privilege of raising them.
    And yes I know my spelling terrible (is that spelled right? )

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    10,440

    Default Re: Out of ideas...trying hard to not want to give up

    Hmm. That is a hard one.

    1) watch for cues when he is going to bite. Usually, they sort of indicate that a bite is imminent, and a quick unlatch with "No biting" pre-empts the bite. One of my boys would stop sucking, and if I didn't unlatch him right then, I would be bitten. I can't remember if it was #1 or #2. But the stopping of sucking was the cue. Their latch has to change in order to bite you, and to do that, they have to stop sucking. It meant we unlatched a lot during a nursing session, but
    2) no playing at the breast. When they are messing around, that is when they are more likely to bite
    3) yelling no might be effective. DS #1 was so startled, and he cried, when I finally did that that he only bit me like 2-3 times and then he was over biting my breast (although he would come up behind me and bite me). But...#2 thought it was hilarious and started biting me just for kicks. So be careful. And a very sensitive baby might decide nursing is scary.
    4) if that's the case, then unlatching and putting him down and walking away will eventually work. Yes. they cry. Yes, that is really, really hard. But it is the start of discipline, which is guidance. Biting is simply not acceptable.

    A friend of mine pulls her baby in really close when he bites, so her breast blocks his nose, and that teaches them that biting causes something they don't like to happen. That didn't work for me, but thought I would throw it out there.

    http://www.kellymom.com/bf/older-baby/biting.html
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
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    818

    Default Re: Out of ideas...trying hard to not want to give up

    Thank you both for the ideas. It's just hard with no support IRL...people telling me to wean etc... I really appreciate your help!
    Melanie

    Mom to
    Matthew born April 2009
    Jonathan born March 2011
    loving and

  5. #5
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    Jun 2006
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    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
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    Default Re: Out of ideas...trying hard to not want to give up

    Biting is hard. It's a violation of trust in a relationship that is very very intimate. I think that both the suggestions of saying ouch loud enough to startle and putting the baby down immediately are good ideas. Yes your child might cry. But a one year old is not to young to understand through repeated experience not to do a thing. If you want your child to learn that it's not OK to bite. You have to teach him that. And he is the other person in this very intimate relationship. So it's important for him to understand that you are up set and hurt. I think that putting him down immediately and walking away is the right way to handle that. If for no other reason than for that what he "gets" out of that is that biting = stop nursing. So if he doesn't want to stop in this way, he can't do it.

    Way too lazy for formula

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Ohio
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    Default Re: Out of ideas...trying hard to not want to give up

    I feel ya hon! I have a biter. He doesn't bite while nursing thank goodness but he sure does any other time. If he gets mad he bites, excited...bites, sad...bites, tired...bites. Just know you are not alone. Everyone says to bite back but I haven't gotten there yet. I just watch him close when his mouth gets near any part of my body and if he opens wide I say "no bite! That hurts mommy" and give the sign for pain. He is getting better and as long as I watch for the cues I am staying somewhat bruise free. I have had many, many bruises. Got one on my boob that is currently at the green stage so almost gone. It was by far the biggest one he gave me but we were co-sleeping and I guess he woke up and got bored so he decided to wake me up with a nice big bite on the top of my breast about 3 inches above my nipple so I know he wasn't trying to nurse. He's 9 months and doesn't miss that bad even on his own. haha Good luck!
    Michelle

    Wife to Donnie , my best friend
    Mom to Trenton 1/9/97, Dillan 11/22/01, Ashton 6/19/09

    All boys, weaned at 15 months, at home with Ashton

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
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    818

    Default Re: Out of ideas...trying hard to not want to give up

    Just wanted to update that DS is doing MUCH better with the biting!!! What worked was to say No biting...biting hurts mommy...and then set him down on the floor. Now if I can just get him to stop chewing on the piano bench Thanks for your help ladies!
    Melanie

    Mom to
    Matthew born April 2009
    Jonathan born March 2011
    loving and

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    2,570

    Default Re: Out of ideas...trying hard to not want to give up

    Glad things are better now! I went through a biting phaze with DD#1 but luckily she was very late getting teeth (11.5 months) so it wasn't as painful. That's great that you got some good advice here


    Jeanne (my middle name IRL)


    Mommy to two girls (M & M), born Sept. '07 and Sept. '09

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