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Thread: Self Weaning - opinions please

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
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    Default Re: Self Weaning - opinions please

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mom2a View Post
    When we started weaning, I decided to try to distract or redirect some of the nursing sessions so we weren't nursing all day long. But I also decided that if my ds was not accepting of redirection, then he wasn't ready to give up that nursing session and we would not eliminate it at that time. It was a very gradual process. He learned to respect my needs and in turn, I feel like he was able to wean at his own pace.
    yeah, I've been realizing that some nursing sessions are super easy to distract him from while with others he is very persistent. I haven't let him get upset, and it seems to be going well. The drive by's are pretty easy to distract him from, but it means for a busier mama, lol

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*green.momma View Post
    I would also start by nightweaning. Then what happens if you say no? My ds1 could generally be distracted at age 2 with. Snack, game, change if activity. But if he was super persistent I would give in.

    Once we got to nursing only at nap and bed I enjoyed it a lot more.
    we have been working on night weaning over the past few days. It seems to be going well, but very slowly. I have a sippy of water in the bed with us so I'm not sure if I'm starting a problem or not. But his need to suck seems to be fulfilled with the sippy. It might backfire on me and we might be waking for the sippy until he's five It seems that the sippy works for all wakings but one session. Around 4ish he wants to nurse and doesn't want anything else. So I've been nursing him during that time, but unlatching him and singing to him to get sleep instead of letting him fall asleep while nursing. We shall see how that goes.

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*lllcheri View Post
    Congrats on 2 years of nursing! Yes, you can definitely set some limits on nursing and still follow your son's lead on weaning. Nursing is a relationship, especially with a nursing toddler, and it does need to work for both people involved. You're giving your son a wonderful foundation by following his lead, but also showing him that others also have needs.

    You've already noticed that he's more likely to want to nurse several times a day when you're home and sitting. Yes, it's exhausting to be up and moving all the time, but while you're trying to reduce or eliminate some nursing sessions, it may help to stay busy. Do you want to simply reduce the frequency of daytime nursing, or competely eliminate some nursing sessions? Planning several busy days may help lead your son in the direction of eliminating some of those drive-by nursing sessions.

    Toddlers are notoriously persistent, and many mothers have found that once a nursing toddler decides he wants to nurse, distract and redirect doesn't work so well. You may need to plan ahead a bit - what encourages him to nurse? Certain times? When you sit in a certain chair? When you're on the phone? Reading? If you can plan ahead and have a more exciting activity, a sippy cup of water, or a snack ready to offer before he asks to nurse, he'll likely be easier to distract.

    One idea that I've heard mothers use is to allow nursing, but limit the length of nursing sessions (won't help so much for those quick check-in nursings, though). This allows you to say "yes!", but start placing some limits on the constant nursings. You might allow him to nurse while you sing a favorite song, or read a short book, or count to 10. Then it's time to be done. This can help introduce the idea that he can't always nurse as often as he wants, and may make saying "no" later on a bit easier.

    Have you read "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler"? It has many good ideas for setting age-appropriate limits for nursing toddlers.
    You're right on with the chair. As I read your response I realized that the computer chair is definitely the place he likes to nurse. And that's because I always nurse him here so that I can surf the forums while he nurses, lol. Also if I lay on the couch he wants to lay next to me to nurse. So today I'm going to try to avoid laying on the couch, and limit my time at the computer to when he's otherwise occupied.

    I'll have to check out that book. No one I know IRL has nursed past one so the ideas they are giving me just don't work, ya know? They have the best of intentions, but a two year old is much more determined, and dare I say stubborn, than a one year old.

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*djs.mom View Post
    When DJ was two and we were negotiating he always wanted nurse when I was at the computer. So I found I could trade. I started with trays of juice pops. You know, juice in ice cube trays, saran wrap over, tooth picks in, makes toddler pops! My son would happily give up the "I'm bored" sessions for and ice cube of frozen juice! He never got juice before. He was willing to make that trade all summer.
    hmmm, we did watermelon pops last year and he loved them. I bet they would work well! He likes yogurt frozen as well. Maybe they will become a trade off instead of just a snack.

    Thanks so much ladies. I feel so lost when it comes to this aspect of our nursing relationship. Like I'm just wandering around and hoping it falls into place.
    ~Jenn~


    mother of 2 boys!
    08/14/98~~03/20/08

    Birth: 7lbs 12oz, 1 year: 22lbs 11oz
    until he self-weaned 4 days before his third birthday ... still on occasion ... and happily

    ************************************************** ************************************************** *****************
    People need to understand that when they're deciding between breastmilk and formula, they're not deciding between Coke and Pepsi.... They're choosing between a live, pure substance and a dead substance made with the cheapest oils available. ~Chele Marmet

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: Self Weaning - opinions please

    I feel so lost when it comes to this aspect of our nursing relationship. Like I'm just wandering around and hoping it falls into place.


    I fealt like that too... I did ok untill she got to be about 3 and then I fealt like something had to give. I think it's pretty normal to feal that way.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
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    Good ole ATX y'all!
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    Default Re: Self Weaning - opinions please

    Right there with you momma, I felt like I could have written your post (if I had more sleep and could think clearer that is..)

    DS is 28 months and nursing strong. Too strong for me actually. But he LOVES nursing and says so. While I know this is a passing need it's hard sometimes to see that far ahead.

    I have started to say "no" sometimes and I have started to redirect and distract but it's getting harder as he gets older. He's smart and won't be distracted now. He's high energy and pretty intense and when he wants to nurse, he wants to nurse. Sometimes I have let him get upset which I feel so bad about. But I just can not nurse a 2 year old every hour of the day and night. I'm zapped.
    Jen - mom to 3
    DD who I FF
    I survived 10 painful mastitis infections and managed to nurse DS1 till he was 3 years and 7 months
    and now DS2 4 years now working on gentle weaning and


    "Pride is one of the seven deadly sins; but it can not be the pride of a mother in her children, for that is a compound of two cardinal virtues - faith and hope." Charles Dickens

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    TX
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    2,197

    Default Re: Self Weaning - opinions please

    I really don't have any advice for you, since I'm struggling right now with finding the balance, too. But I just wanted to remind you that you're not alone, and to send you some hope.
    Teal

    25 May 96 and 14 January 08 and 27 February 2012

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
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    Default Re: Self Weaning - opinions please

    Update:

    I didn't really set any limits, but I did try to distract when I felt it was "I'm bored" sessions.
    And he night weaned all on his own (I just didn't have the energy to nightwean, it was easier to just nurse him )

    At this point (28.5 months), we have three definite nursing sessions. First thing in the morning (this is the longest one, sometimes lasting an hour), right after lunch, and just before bed. Sometimes he wakes again around 10 or 11 and I nurse him back down. He goes to bed around 7 if he doesn't have a nap, and around 9 or 9:30 if he does have a nap. He wakes around 7ish

    So that's where we are. With little help from me
    ~Jenn~


    mother of 2 boys!
    08/14/98~~03/20/08

    Birth: 7lbs 12oz, 1 year: 22lbs 11oz
    until he self-weaned 4 days before his third birthday ... still on occasion ... and happily

    ************************************************** ************************************************** *****************
    People need to understand that when they're deciding between breastmilk and formula, they're not deciding between Coke and Pepsi.... They're choosing between a live, pure substance and a dead substance made with the cheapest oils available. ~Chele Marmet

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Vancouver, BC
    Posts
    1,687

    Default Re: Self Weaning - opinions please

    That's great!
    I'm Anna
    Proud mama to my 2 little high needs "koala bears":

    Ethan born 8/23/08
    Bfed for 22 months, weaned with love 7/2010

    Lucas, born 1/6/11
    Nursing strong for 19 MONTHS!

    Cloth diapering 1 full-time even though I'm constantly ! Currently in potty training mode. We also and

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