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Thread: Mother regressing - 34month old and the breast. Any child psychologists out there?

  1. #1
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    Default Mother regressing - 34month old and the breast. Any child psychologists out there?

    I successfully breastfed my second child. It is a point of pride in my life.
    Up to age 26 months I would let her have the breast at night for comfort.
    Then I weaned her.
    But her memories and experience of the "bwest" seems to be a major point in her life and it seems that if i allow her, she would be right back on it.
    We joke about it all the time. She teases me, touches my breast, plays with it and says "mommy, I'm a baby" because she would love to get back on the breast.

    I worry that I may be depriving her of a source of comfort that may be important and am almost thinking of reverting to allowing her breast at night. of course, I don't trust my motive for doing that. I'm wondering if thee is something that I need that may be causing me to think this way.

    Maybe I feel that she is still just a little baby and that she is growing up so fast, and that i should at least allow her this one thing. But my breasts have been returned to first use as sex objects and I really don't feel comfortable criss crossing roles again. Its kinda weird......not so sure how to explain.

    Please let me know your thoughts.

    Thanks

  2. #2
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    Dec 2009
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    Default Re: Mother regressing - 34month old and the breast. Any child psychologists out there

    as a new mom I am amazed at the bonding that occurs during breast feeding. I think it's that bonding the two of you are craving, not the breast. maybe find another way to be physically close and bond. maybe snuggle in a blanket in your pj's and read a bed time story. something that is special only the two of you share.

    I don't think there is anything wrong with going back to the breast at that age. not a choice I would make for myself, and it sounds like your not wanting to go back there either.
    first time mother to Samantha Rose 11/29/09
    and even when it gets tough...

  3. #3

    Default Re: Mother regressing - 34month old and the breast. Any child psychologists out there

    have you read "the breastfeeding book" by dr sears? it talks a little about that. a quote from it.."the oxytocin and prolactin released during breastfeeding make a woman feel relaxed. these same hormones are released during sex...sometimes the physical sensations associated with breastfeeding can make a mother feel sexually aroused.. this is more likely to happen as the baby grows older and it may worry some mothers. these feelings are perfectly normal. their sudden appearance doesnt mean that something in your breastfeeding relationship has suddenly gone wrong. your body is responding normally to your babys sucking." theres more but i'm gettin tired of typing! i know for me sometimes i get nipple confusion and restrict my hubby from babbas b/c its hard going back and forth on their purpose! i dont know as far as going back to nursing..mine is 21mo & still nursing and the babbas are her securtiy blanket-she will take anyone down that stands in the way of her babbas. so i dont know when i'll actually decide to wean! my deadline originally was 1 1/2yrs! and that aint happenin!

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Mother regressing - 34month old and the breast. Any child psychologists out there

    My 3.5 yo sometimes likes to pretend to be a baby and I let him pretend to nurse (breasts stay put away). He also likes to play other pretend games where he is the mommy or a doctor or a firefighter or a princess. All seems pretty normal.

    ETA I am nursing the baby but didn't want to tandem. I make sure to have lots of other special snuggle time with the older lo and that works for us.
    Last edited by @llli*lsksam; March 15th, 2010 at 06:25 AM.
    Lynn
    DS1: bf 7/2006 -> 4/2009; multiple food allergies
    DS2: bf 9/2009 -> ???
    ; multiple food allergies
    Breastmilk Donor - http://hmbana.org/index/donatemilk
    Click HERE to learn about baby led solids (BLS) / baby led weaning (BLW)

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Mother regressing - 34month old and the breast. Any child psychologists out there

    I think the suggestions about making sure there's lots of other cuddle time and the quote from the Sears book are both right on.

    I also know kids often as they get older spend a lot of time working what their new role is supposed to be at each age - what they do now, and what it means for their relationships with others. We use this tendency when we talk about "big boy potty!" or "big girls don't hit..." etc,... but it's not something we invent, it's something kids are constantly trying to work out. Their roles change so fast! I think the role-playing talked about by a previous commenter can be a big part of this, too. So, I was wondering if some of this could be related to that kind of behavior - the sort of "what is my role now?" type questioning?

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Mother regressing - 34month old and the breast. Any child psychologists out there

    Wow, thank you ladies. i'm slightly close to tears. sigh.

    i think my LO is really just trying to define herself. She has her big sister to compete with.
    She also started school early. so there's lots going on.

    She's very smart so I think we may be expecting much of her.

    My poor little baby.
    I will try to spend even more one and one with her. (she's very good at demanding her rights).

    I think maybe the breast will confuse her......but maybe i can be a bit more purposeful with the bwest games. so its not time spent on the defensive.

    thank you ladies. sigh.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Mother regressing - 34month old and the breast. Any child psychologists out there

    Sometimes I think kids get overwhelmed with growing up and need to be "babied" at times. My son does this sometimes. He'll have a day where he baby talks or wants to read babyish books or wants to be cuddled a lot. I just indulge him. It seems like it happens when he's feeling left out (he has a 21mo sis) or is trying a new task or is feeling insecure somewhere in his life. It usually passes very quickly and, in a way, I think it's really healthy for him to ask for what he needs emotionally even if he doesn't fully understand it.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Mother regressing - 34month old and the breast. Any child psychologists out there

    My son slowly weaned during my pregnancy. He started going days without nursing around 18 months. By 21 months he was going weeks between under-a-minute nursing sessions, if I could even call it that. After his little sister was born he asked one more time. I allowed it, and that was it. He was done. I think he wanted to see if it was there for him if he needed it. And when I assured him it was, he made the choice to be done.

    Is there a reason you were considering just night nursing?
    Lyn
    Nursing the girl with kaleidoscope eyes


    Mama to Daniel (12/3/06) and Lucy Jane (8/28/08)

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Mother regressing - 34month old and the breast. Any child psychologists out there

    Good points ladies.

    I was considering night nursing because that's when she asked for bwest most..............

    last week she actually wrestled my breast from my bra and sucked on a fraction of a nipple. she was fast asleep in minutes....

    i felt conflicted.

    i've been trying to lift her up more though and hold her and play withher when she wants to.

    she is very independent. but probably is insisting on her right to be treated like a "yittle gurl" as she pronounces it.

    bless her little heart

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Mother regressing - 34month old and the breast. Any child psychologists out there

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*bello View Post
    she is very independent. but probably is insisting on her right to be treated like a "yittle gurl" as she pronounces it.

    bless her little heart
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

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