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Thread: Complete bottle strike at 3 mo! Help! DH is at his wits end.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    13

    Unhappy Complete bottle strike at 3 mo! Help! DH is at his wits end.

    I work nights, and every morning I come home DH tells me how LO was up most of the night because he refused to eat and won't go back to sleep!

    He took bottles fine up until a week and a half ago, then he started being progressively fussier about the bottle and eventually stopped taking it altogether. The last couple of nights I worked, he didn't eat more than an ounce for the whole 11 hours I was gone! It doesn't help that he isn't soothed well by DH either. He just wants Mom.

    DH has gotten to the point where he has said that he does NOT want to BF our second child. He was saying he thinks this is because I spoil LO by holding him all the time and letting him nurse for comfort. AUGH! I think he'll be more reasonable when he's had more than an hour's sleep and isn't frustrated to tears, but it still makes me cry!

    I've been trying to offer the bottle more and pump in the hopes that this is a phase that he will get over, but I've only gotten him to take it once since this bottle strike started.

    Does anyone else have experience with this? A baby that rejected the bottle at this age and then later was willing to take it again or learned the sippy cup early enough? He's only 3 months! I just need to see a light at the end of the tunnel here!

    I just want to stay home and nurse him, but that's not an option. DH is unemployed right now and I am the breadwinner in the family anyway.

    Today LO is cranky and sleepy because he barely slept all night last night, He's not napping well either to make up for it, I think because he's so cranky and overtired. So am I.

    LO's normal sleep habits aren't bad when I'm home-- he goes to bed around 8, sleeps until 1 or 2 AM usually, then wakes up to eat about every 2 hours after that until he's up for the day at around 8 AM. When I'm home, he goes back to sleep pretty easily, but with DH he cries inconsolably and often has to cry himself to sleep just because he won't be soothed by DH no matter what he tries. It breaks my heart!
    Last edited by @llli*dragoness; February 27th, 2010 at 05:49 PM. Reason: adding more info

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    21

    Default Re: Complete bottle strike at 3 mo! Help! DH is at his wits end.

    We are just starting to have the same problem...have you had any success?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Brussels, Belgium
    Posts
    1,302

    Default Re: Complete bottle strike at 3 mo! Help! DH is at his wits end.

    Why not try the usual remedies for a baby who has bf difficulties, such as cup feeding, skin-to-skin contact, dropper feeding, etc? Just because your baby feeds from a cup for a while doesn't mean s/he will indefinitely. It sounds like DH is frustrated from being unemployed and not able to soothe his baby. Skin-to-skin may include taking a nice 'warm fuzzy' cuddle as described by Dr Sears on his askdrsears site, or taking a daddy and baby bath together. The kookiness of the situation might just appeal to him. Be sympathetic, men just aren't biologically equipped to soothe babies like we are, and nothing replaces a mother's touch. It's hard on us to have a crying baby, but we can soothe them better than a man who hasn't been equipped so perfectly to this task by evolution. An unconsolable baby can create distancing responses in parents, and it sounds like your DH has this temporarily. Let his words on not bfing the next one just go out the other ear, he's venting. Task him with finding out which method will console the LO. With a clear task, and success to follow, he will be energized and you three all will be relieved.
    Katharine
    Be the change you want to see in the world--Mahatma Gandhi
    mid-August DD (2010) & DS (2011 VBAC)
    Ouch! Is it thrush or Raynaud's phenomenon?

  4. #4

    Default Re: Complete bottle strike at 3 mo! Help! DH is at his wits end.

    I'm sorry I have no help for you either. I just started to have the same problem and we're still trying to find a solution. My daughter is 7 weeks and i'm still on maternity leave so i can still bf her if the bottle doesn't work. In a few weeks my husband will stay home for 1 month and she needs to take the bottle by then...
    She used to take it just fine but now she fusses and cries even if she's really hungry. It's like she'd rather stay hungry than take the bottle.
    I've tried slipping in the bottle when she's sucking on my breast. It takes a few tries, but sometimes she eventually falls for it and starts to suck on the bottle. Obviously I can't have DH do the same, so I'm still trying to find a better solution to "train" her on the bottle. I'll let you know if I have any success.

    As for the Dad soothing: my husband puts her in the BabyBjorn carrier and walks around. She likes to be outside and feel the fresh air. That and the rocking motion of being walked around calms her down. My DH gets frustrated too and often has a negative attitude ("she'll just cry with me," ... etc).

    good luck and let me know if you find out how to get your baby back on the bottle.

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