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Thread: So confused...need help and a kick in the back side!

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: So confused...need help and a kick in the back side!

    Mama, I'm here to kick you in the ass.

    You have been through a tremendous amount in the last few weeks, don't forget that. Give yourself a break on that, and then get going. You CAN do this.

    Does the hospital have drop in childcare? The hospital where I had Nolan did, although obviously he was our first so we didn't utilize it. But maybe that is an option. That way when you are there, Aimee can be there at the hospital with you so you can be with baby?

    And as far as pumping at home, is there a way to involve Aimee like it's a game. Show her how to pump too, or have some activity that you both can do together while you pump. And you're in England right? I have a Lactina that I bought, but it would probably cost an arm and a leg to ship it to you.

    Does the hospital not offer donor milk for preemies?

    Lots of mama. I know how hard it is and I didn't even have another child to look after. I know how strong you are though and I know that you can do this.
    I'm Hillary
    Wife to Gualberto
    Mom to Nolan
    Born at 32 weeks-3lbs/10oz
    Our precious early angel

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    SW Ohio

    Default Re: So confused...need help and a kick in the back side!

    I was also going to add... would your insurance company pay for a new double-electric (Freestyle) for you? I have heard that sometimes they will cover a pump if you are pumping for a preemie. If you double-pump, you can get your pumping done a lot faster, be mobile while pumping, and have more time for your toddler. And from what I understand, double-pumping typically yields a higher output of milk than just single pumping. Just something to consider.
    IRL all my friends call me Buff, Wife to CB since 10/11/2003

    Mom to DD - "MJ" born 9/2007 @ 8lbs 10oz, 21.5" She's 6 years old!
    My journey nursing MJ started HERE, but we got through it and she breastfed 19.5 months, self-weaned on 5/17/09

    Mom to my current nursling, DS - "ME" born 10/2009 @ 10lbs 1oz, 22.25" He's 4 years old! And yup, he's still nursing.

    Ask me about my successful VBAC! Click here for my birth story.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jan 2008

    Default Re: So confused...need help and a kick in the back side!

    Mama, you can totally do this! I know it's hard. I remember how difficult it was to feel motivated to pump for Owen when I only got a few chances to try to nurse him over his 2month NICU stay. And I had Emma, 2yrs at the time, at home and felt like crap from my c-section. But, I felt like I didn't have any control over how anything else went, with my pregnancy and how it ended, with most of his care, etc. and that fueled me to pump as much as possible because I was determined to nurse him - I could control that and I was going to! There were many, many times when I didn't think it would happen, that I'd end up pumping and bottle feeding him - I kept thinking "how can this actually be possible? how can I nurse a baby after he's a few months old?" And I'm not going to lie - it was A LOT of work. When he came home, there was a lot of time spent trying to nurse him, pumping, and bottle feeding then doing it all over again. But, the intense amount of work and time involved after he came home paid off because within 2 months of him coming home he was solely breastfeeding.

    You can do this. It is hard, but it's worth it and you know that! In my opinion, you should pump every 2 hours for maybe 15 minutes and give yourself every 3 hours during the night. Figure out a schedule that is going to make sense for you - like pumping right before your DH heads off to work so he can care for your daughter while you are. Then the next time to pump, sit with her and read some books while you do it. Then maybe during her nap, etc. I would start eating lots of steel oats, drink mother's milk tea, and talk to a lactation consultant at the hospital about other options for getting your milk supply up.

    As far as getting to the hospital - take each day at a time and do what you can. The no driving thing is a pita. We figured out a rough schedule for each day. Once we actually got to hold him 2 times a day (last 2 weeks or so of his stay) DH would go in before work in the morning and hold him during that tube feeding, then I would go in when it worked for Emma and I. I would often go in the evening because DH could drive me or be home with Emma.

    Having a preemie turns your life upside down, but it does right itself again eventually. Acknowledge what you've been through and are going through, and then pick yourself up and do what you have to do to get through everything. And pump, even though you won't feel like it, just make yourself do it. It will pay off.

    Feel free to PM me.
    Mommy to:

    Emmalynn Marie
    Born at 37 weeks on 12/22/06
    5lbs 1oz 19 1/2in

    Owen Charles
    Born at 29 wks 6 days on 01/17/09
    2lbs 14oz 15in
    In NICU for 2 months

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Landof2toddlers, Oregon

    Default Re: So confused...need help and a kick in the back side!

    I have not BTDT but I know you can do it. you are an amazing mama.

    Pumping with a toddler at home is hard (and i was only trying to do it once a day). You really need to get a double electric. Does your SCBU have a support group or can they put you in touch with one? Someone there may have bought one or know where to get one.

    If your hospital doesn't have drop in nursery ask one of the nurses where their kids go you never know.

    I know toddlers on the bus are a pita but that is what strollers are for - even for big toddlers. It is what I have to do all the time. Will they let Aimee in to the hospital?

    I know I should know but are you a military mama? I think you are but am not sure. Is there a wives group on the base who can help out?

    I can only imagine what you are going through so far away from home. A million hugs And get pumping!

    Also, i hope you don't mind me saying, but have you wondered if you have PPD? That is one where I have btdt (actually am doing, but so much better than after my issues with first birth/low supply etc). Edinburgh screening here
    proud but exhausted working mammy to two high needs babies

    • my surprise baby: the one and only D-Man born 3 weeks late (5/5/08) at 9 lbs 14 oz and 21.5 inches, and
    • the shock H-Girl born about a week late (10/7/09) at 8lbs 15oz and 20.75 inches.

    If I am here I am covered in baby (probably two) and fighting for control of the keyboard.

    Family beds are awesome

    Wondering if you have PPD? Take the screening and see your doctor. You deserve to feel better.

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