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Thread: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

  1. #21
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    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    When people started making negative comments, I was very straight forward with them. "I feel VERY strongly about nursing her for as long as she and I feel the need. Weaning will be decided between us." It seems to have shut down the comments because they know that I don't want to hear it.

    Amy will be 16 months old on Tuesday. We only nurse 3 - 4 times a day (bedtime, overnight, in the morning) but we're still nursing!
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!
    and

  2. #22
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    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*emama View Post
    My LO is 31 months and I always talk about the fact that I'm still nursing. I kind of forget to shut up about it. Thankfully, no one has made mean or ignorant comments.

    I'm a little evangelical about it actually. I tell people about how kids' bodies are receptive to their mother's milk until they start to turn five and that it's basically like medicine for kids with special needs or kids with health issues (like my LO). I attribute the mildness of my daughter's condition to all the breast milk she has gotten and thankfully, people just seem interested more than judgmental. Maybe they judge me behind my back, I don't know - but I don't care either!
    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mama.mia View Post
    My twins turned three last November. They used to ask to nurse when we were out, but I guess I said no enough that now they just ask to "snuggle my nursin's" when they feel sad or tired.

    Most people assume they don't nurse anymore. But I don't hide it. I personally prefer not to NIP with the twins 'cause it's quite revealing and uncomfortable for me.

    I recently posted a third-birthday memoir of them on my blog and of course mentioned their nursing. My cousins and friends I think didn't realize they still nurse, but then somehow assumed that they were weaned.

    I love getting asked, "How long did your twins nurse?" 'Cause then I can say, "I'll let you know!"

    I will admit my brother teases me about still nursing, but it's all in fun. I just tease him back about his kid getting sick so often... Too bad he doesn't still nurse!

    I agree with lots of the pp: I don't hide it, but I don't announce it. I kind of wish more people would ask me about it, so I could spread the word
    about extended nursing more often.

    Quick story: A friend I hadn't seen in ten years came to visit. My twins were
    napping at the time. Her 18-month-old came over to her and I could tell by the way she was holding him that this was a nursing toddler. She asked if I minded if she nursed, which of course I didn't mind. Before that moment, neither of us realized we were both nursing "extended" nursers!!

    ETA: it is amazing to me how different nursing was from age 13 mo to 2 yrs, compared to age 2 to 3. The former was a lot more like nursing newborns in frequency and importance. The third year was much more about closeness and comfort, and knowing mommy is there. Not at all about the milk. We NIP all the time the second year, not so
    much the third year.

    GOOO MAMA's!!!!

    CAYLA
    Mama 2 Allie who Self-weaned @ 2 1/2
    Korben Jon born 07/25/2011*

  3. #23
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    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*sleckey View Post
    And now at 23 months, nearing the 2 year mark, my immediate family has chimed in with comments too (I am lucky they have been so supportive this long!). But in the past week I've heard "he's not a baby any more" and "that's it, cut him off!" I don't even blame them for the comments, the people saying those things have never nursed a baby in their lives.
    I think you should do whatever makes life easiest for you. You have done a great thing and I understand wanting to make a statement and support bfing in public etc. (I feel the same way). But at the end of the day, if doing so is making up unhappy and adding stress to your life, I would do whatever makes you most comfortable. *I* would probably not hide the fact but not advertise it either in your situation.

    Of course, my lactivist side wants to slap these negative influences in your life upside the head! If my family were making comments like that, which some of them have (extended family), I usually don't get into a debate, but just say something like it is still very healthy for her and a good bonding experience, and I know it's not for everyone but it is working well for us (smiling, of course). If someone was rude as you've described, I would probably tell them that I did not ask for their opinion and ask if they have ever nursed in their lives, like I would really change what's best for me and my child based on rude comments from someone with no relevant experience or knowledge on the subject.
    You're doing a great thing, mama! Keep it up!

    ETA: To answer the question, no I do not hide it, but I don't make a point to bring it up especially with strangers or people I know are just going to be rude or negative.

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  4. #24
    @llli*emama is offline Shares Widely And Frequently
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    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*sixyearplan View Post
    Why do you say their bodies are receptive to it until they start to turn five? I don't understand. What happens at five?
    My understanding is that they have some kind of "lipase receptors" or something like that until some time in their 4s. They can easily break down breast milk until that age. I may have the wrong term here but it has something to do with that. Anyone??

    I wish I had the exact language but I read this several times and it stuck. I also remember someone paraphrasing a Native America poem or story in which the narrator says that "I had just turned five and stopped asking for my mother's milk." That stuck with me too.

    I try very hard not to judge other people's parenting but what does sicken me is the idea of foisting full independence on such little children. If my daughter had lost interest in BFing at a younger age, I would have gladly obliged! I don't actually enjoy it anymore!! But I want her to be ready. Kids start to gain independence on their own and if you read their cues, you can understand when they're ready to make changes.

    However, if we're heading towards five and still BFing, then maybe we'll have to have a talk.

  5. #25

    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    I nursed in public all the time, but by the time he was two and a half or so, I'd pretty much stopped. He didn't ask that often, and if I could discourage it, I did, but if he insisted, then I'd go ahead and nurse. But Sam nursed until he was almost three and a half, and I reached the point where all I got was active disapproval about him continuing to nurse - my extended family was horrified that he was still nursing. I announced that as far as they were concerned, I weaned last week and refused to discuss it anymore. I had spent so much time trying to educate everyone and just reached the point where it was willfull ignorance on their part - and fighting with them about it bothered me so much, I just refused to participate anymore.
    Melissa
    Mom to Jessica (2/7/03) breastfed for 8 months
    Sam (7/6/06) breastfed for three years, five months, two weeks and three days (not that I was counting or anything :-)
    Julianna (4/29/10) struggled thru nursing strike, nipple confusion, thrush, multiple cracks and fissures, a staph infection and then another bout of thrush, but happily nursing away
    www.cohenfamily-melissa.blogspot.com

  6. #26
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    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    My DD is almost 27 months. I don't hide it, per se, but I rarely NIP anymore. I feel like at this age she can wait until we're home and we can get comfy on the couch. Of course if she really needed to nurse because she was hurt or something, I don't deny her, but that's rarely the case. She's usually too busy when we're out to even think about milk anyway. However when we're at home and she's bored, she wants to nurse all. the. time!

  7. #27
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    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    I stopped NIP when dd1 was around 12 mths, most of my friends had weaned their babies and no one seemed to understand. It wasn't really a big deal, she never asked when we were out anyway. A few close friends knew that she still nursed but not many. Interesting tho, the most supportive friend that I had was one who only nursed for 6 weeks. She was always saying what a good job I was doing and never minded listening when I had trouble. I was lucky tho since neither family minded. She self-weaned when I was pg with dd2 and it was a bit sad but it seemed like she was ready. I didn't do a thing to stop her (besides having less milk of course). I have had to pump a lot to keep the supply up for dd2 and dd1 is enjoying mommy's milk in her sippy cup! I know it is unlikely that I will ever give that milk to dd2 so why not give it to dd1.
    Mom to Abigail, born May 3rd, 2007 (self-weaned at 27 mths) and Charlotte, born Nov. 24th, 2009. Both reflux babies and EBF. Charlotte weighs 31 lbs at 26 mths.

  8. #28
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    Feb 2010
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    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    Today was the first day I felt really judged by a friend for breastfeeding my 2 yr old. And not having my husband's support is even harder.

    I have always felt confident breatfeeding in public. I can do it so descretely in a carrier and it gives me so much freedom. i don't want to give up that freedom and comfort for my toddler. I also feel that she will lose her mind if she asks for "mommy milk" and has to wait to get home. How sad!

    Today I wished I could just surround myself with other moms who think like me, but I know that is not possible.

    What a struggle. Set limitations? Or just continue to breastfeed wherever, whenever, around whoever??

  9. #29
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    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*dassa View Post
    Today was the first day I felt really judged by a friend for breastfeeding my 2 yr old. And not having my husband's support is even harder.

    I have always felt confident breatfeeding in public. I can do it so descretely in a carrier and it gives me so much freedom. i don't want to give up that freedom and comfort for my toddler. I also feel that she will lose her mind if she asks for "mommy milk" and has to wait to get home. How sad!

    Today I wished I could just surround myself with other moms who think like me, but I know that is not possible.

    What a struggle. Set limitations? Or just continue to breastfeed wherever, whenever, around whoever??

    IMO it's fine to set reasonable limitations at this age as long as you stand by them. It's nice for DD to finally be old enough that I can run errands without having to stop a million times to nurse her. We can get out, take care of business, and then reconnect on the couch when we get home. She will sometimes ask for milk if we're around new people, but I just tell her that we will when we get home. We always have milk right away when we arrive home, though.

  10. #30
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    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    DD is 16 months. I like to ask moms "are you still nursing" so that puts the line out there that it is normal to nurse a toddler. Even if I have no idea if they are FF or BF. I kindof do like to "advertise" it, when given the choice to go to a more private location to NIP I do not hesitate to just nurse where we are.
    Nursed for 18 months

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