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Thread: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
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    Toronto, Canada
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    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    I don't hide it, we still NIP as needed but it's personally really important to me that I support other toddler nursing Mamas in a visible way. I've never had a single comment from a stranger, my family is all about AP and CLW so no probs there, and my IL's have learned to keep their comments to themselves.

    I think you should do what feels right to you mama. I think that most mamas who are still nursing at 18+ months just do it at home and don't talk about it much and that's okay.. But it makes me sad to think that people actively shy away from the discussion because our society is just so messed up when it comes to child-rearing.
    Jess

    Mama to my little Roxie Roo, 06/11/08


    April miles for TBTTW: 63

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
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    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    I have the same approach as some of the other pp who "admit" it if asked or if it comes up, but otherwise don't publicize it. My DS is 26 months. Although I really support toddler nursing, for me it's just like most other issues surrounding the way I parent - it's really no one's business but my family's, and it's not up for discussion. I don't talk about discipline strategies or sleep issues with anyone else either, except maybe close friends with whom I'm comfortable sharing it. I also don't equate "hiding" BF with somehow being unsupportive or ashamed of it. I'm totally supportive of toddler nursing, yet for me I'm not comfortable doing it in public (nor does my LO ever ask for it in public). I don't mind if other people do it, it's just not for me.

  3. #13
    Join Date
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    Good ole ATX y'all!
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    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    Same as other posters. I don't hide it but I don't publicize it either. We just nurse when he askes. I've been doing the "don't offer, don't refuse" way of weaning for about a year now. Often when we're with other people he forgets to ask and I don't offer. But when we are home he remembers more so that tends to be when we nurse.
    Jen - mom to 3
    DD who I FF
    I survived 10 painful mastitis infections and managed to nurse DS1 till he was 3 years and 7 months
    and now DS2 4 years now working on gentle weaning and


    "Pride is one of the seven deadly sins; but it can not be the pride of a mother in her children, for that is a compound of two cardinal virtues - faith and hope." Charles Dickens

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    10,440

    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    I don't hide it, but I don't advertise that I do either. With my first two, I had already had to stop NIP because the babies were not discreet but I have been able to continue with DS #3 as he doesn't try to pull my clothes off and is impossible to distract or dissuade if he is intent on getting some mama milk.

    At this age, in order to avoid the comments, I try to never say anything negative about toddler nursing to people I don't know, to people I suspect will not be supportive or to new moms who might be put off if they hear that nursing a toddler is not a walk in the park (says the mom who is developing her umpteenth blocked duct in the last 5 years.)
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  5. #15
    @llli*emama is offline Shares Widely And Frequently
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    Jul 2007
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    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    My LO is 31 months and I always talk about the fact that I'm still nursing. I kind of forget to shut up about it. Thankfully, no one has made mean or ignorant comments.

    I'm a little evangelical about it actually. I tell people about how kids' bodies are receptive to their mother's milk until they start to turn five and that it's basically like medicine for kids with special needs or kids with health issues (like my LO). I attribute the mildness of my daughter's condition to all the breast milk she has gotten and thankfully, people just seem interested more than judgmental. Maybe they judge me behind my back, I don't know - but I don't care either!

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
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    5,883

    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    L and E are similar with the nonstop nursing and not being stopped when out and about when they want it. It draws more attention to try and stop her from asking sometimes than to just do it.

  7. #17
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    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*emama View Post
    My LO is 31 months and I always talk about the fact that I'm still nursing. I kind of forget to shut up about it. Thankfully, no one has made mean or ignorant comments.

    I'm a little evangelical about it actually. I tell people about how kids' bodies are receptive to their mother's milk until they start to turn five and that it's basically like medicine for kids with special needs or kids with health issues (like my LO). I attribute the mildness of my daughter's condition to all the breast milk she has gotten and thankfully, people just seem interested more than judgmental. Maybe they judge me behind my back, I don't know - but I don't care either!
    Why do you say their bodies are receptive to it until they start to turn five? I don't understand. What happens at five?

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    1,700

    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    CI will be 2 in February & he's still going strong. I don't hide the fact that he's still nursing. I still NIP, but usually in a very quiet spot or in the car when we're out, he's very distractable . If anyone asks, I admit to it & tell them I plan on going until he's done. There's no shame in doing what is best for you & your child. I feel very strongly about breastfeeding & try to educate as many people as I can to the benefits.....
    Mommy to Mary Louise, born 6/28/05, Self weaned at 2 years and 2 months

    Mommy to Craig Isaac, born February 16, 2008, Self weaned 3 years and 4 months
    parttime

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
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    243

    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    My twins turned three last November. They used to ask to nurse when we were out, but I guess I said no enough that now they just ask to "snuggle my nursin's" when they feel sad or tired.

    Most people assume they don't nurse anymore. But I don't hide it. I personally prefer not to NIP with the twins 'cause it's quite revealing and uncomfortable for me.

    I recently posted a third-birthday memoir of them on my blog and of course mentioned their nursing. My cousins and friends I think didn't realize they still nurse, but then somehow assumed that they were weaned.

    I love getting asked, "How long did your twins nurse?" 'Cause then I can say, "I'll let you know!"

    I will admit my brother teases me about still nursing, but it's all in fun. I just tease him back about his kid getting sick so often... Too bad he doesn't still nurse!

    I agree with lots of the pp: I don't hide it, but I don't announce it. I kind of wish more people would ask me about it, so I could spread the word
    about extended nursing more often.

    Quick story: A friend I hadn't seen in ten years came to visit. My twins were
    napping at the time. Her 18-month-old came over to her and I could tell by the way she was holding him that this was a nursing toddler. She asked if I minded if she nursed, which of course I didn't mind. Before that moment, neither of us realized we were both nursing "extended" nursers!!

    ETA: it is amazing to me how different nursing was from age 13 mo to 2 yrs, compared to age 2 to 3. The former was a lot more like nursing newborns in frequency and importance. The third year was much more about closeness and comfort, and knowing mommy is there. Not at all about the milk. We NIP all the time the second year, not so
    much the third year.
    Last edited by @llli*mama.mia; January 31st, 2010 at 08:12 PM.

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    110

    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    Thank you ladies for your replies!!

    I don't "advertise" but it just sort of comes up in conversation (when speaking to close friends or family). That is the "hiding" I think I need to start doing-- I have to make myself refrain from making those casual comments just to avoid hearing comments.
    My friends/family are not "asking questions" they are just saying general things like "well you need to stop nursing him anyway..." etc.

    I didn't mean to say I was NIPing (i have NOTHING against NIPing at any age) but I have not had any reason to-- the only people I occassionally nurse around are my parents, my sister & my sister in law.

    In the past month:
    My Mom: "Just give him milk"
    My Dad: "Cut him off!"
    My sis: "He's not a baby anymore!"
    My dear sis in law: "That is so sweet you still offer him! I forget that he's not even 2 yet"

    I wish they all had my sis in law's attitude. But she is not american & more open.

    For me, nursing is still a big part of my life and I guess I just wish it was okay to talk about it as casually as I discuss anything else in my life.


    THANK YOU for letting me talk about it!!!

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