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Thread: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
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    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    I have the same approach as some of the other pp who "admit" it if asked or if it comes up, but otherwise don't publicize it. My DS is 26 months. Although I really support toddler nursing, for me it's just like most other issues surrounding the way I parent - it's really no one's business but my family's, and it's not up for discussion. I don't talk about discipline strategies or sleep issues with anyone else either, except maybe close friends with whom I'm comfortable sharing it. I also don't equate "hiding" BF with somehow being unsupportive or ashamed of it. I'm totally supportive of toddler nursing, yet for me I'm not comfortable doing it in public (nor does my LO ever ask for it in public). I don't mind if other people do it, it's just not for me.

  2. #12
    Join Date
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    Good ole ATX y'all!
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    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    Same as other posters. I don't hide it but I don't publicize it either. We just nurse when he askes. I've been doing the "don't offer, don't refuse" way of weaning for about a year now. Often when we're with other people he forgets to ask and I don't offer. But when we are home he remembers more so that tends to be when we nurse.
    Jen - mom to 3
    DD who I FF
    I survived 10 painful mastitis infections and managed to nurse DS1 till he was 3 years and 7 months
    and now DS2 4 years now working on gentle weaning and


    "Pride is one of the seven deadly sins; but it can not be the pride of a mother in her children, for that is a compound of two cardinal virtues - faith and hope." Charles Dickens

  3. #13
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    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    I don't hide it, but I don't advertise that I do either. With my first two, I had already had to stop NIP because the babies were not discreet but I have been able to continue with DS #3 as he doesn't try to pull my clothes off and is impossible to distract or dissuade if he is intent on getting some mama milk.

    At this age, in order to avoid the comments, I try to never say anything negative about toddler nursing to people I don't know, to people I suspect will not be supportive or to new moms who might be put off if they hear that nursing a toddler is not a walk in the park (says the mom who is developing her umpteenth blocked duct in the last 5 years.)
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  4. #14
    @llli*emama is offline Shares Widely And Frequently
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    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    My LO is 31 months and I always talk about the fact that I'm still nursing. I kind of forget to shut up about it. Thankfully, no one has made mean or ignorant comments.

    I'm a little evangelical about it actually. I tell people about how kids' bodies are receptive to their mother's milk until they start to turn five and that it's basically like medicine for kids with special needs or kids with health issues (like my LO). I attribute the mildness of my daughter's condition to all the breast milk she has gotten and thankfully, people just seem interested more than judgmental. Maybe they judge me behind my back, I don't know - but I don't care either!

  5. #15
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    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    CI will be 2 in February & he's still going strong. I don't hide the fact that he's still nursing. I still NIP, but usually in a very quiet spot or in the car when we're out, he's very distractable . If anyone asks, I admit to it & tell them I plan on going until he's done. There's no shame in doing what is best for you & your child. I feel very strongly about breastfeeding & try to educate as many people as I can to the benefits.....
    Mommy to Mary Louise, born 6/28/05, Self weaned at 2 years and 2 months

    Mommy to Craig Isaac, born February 16, 2008, Self weaned 3 years and 4 months
    parttime

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
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    275

    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    My twins turned three last November. They used to ask to nurse when we were out, but I guess I said no enough that now they just ask to "snuggle my nursin's" when they feel sad or tired.

    Most people assume they don't nurse anymore. But I don't hide it. I personally prefer not to NIP with the twins 'cause it's quite revealing and uncomfortable for me.

    I recently posted a third-birthday memoir of them on my blog and of course mentioned their nursing. My cousins and friends I think didn't realize they still nurse, but then somehow assumed that they were weaned.

    I love getting asked, "How long did your twins nurse?" 'Cause then I can say, "I'll let you know!"

    I will admit my brother teases me about still nursing, but it's all in fun. I just tease him back about his kid getting sick so often... Too bad he doesn't still nurse!

    I agree with lots of the pp: I don't hide it, but I don't announce it. I kind of wish more people would ask me about it, so I could spread the word
    about extended nursing more often.

    Quick story: A friend I hadn't seen in ten years came to visit. My twins were
    napping at the time. Her 18-month-old came over to her and I could tell by the way she was holding him that this was a nursing toddler. She asked if I minded if she nursed, which of course I didn't mind. Before that moment, neither of us realized we were both nursing "extended" nursers!!

    ETA: it is amazing to me how different nursing was from age 13 mo to 2 yrs, compared to age 2 to 3. The former was a lot more like nursing newborns in frequency and importance. The third year was much more about closeness and comfort, and knowing mommy is there. Not at all about the milk. We NIP all the time the second year, not so
    much the third year.
    Last edited by @llli*mama.mia; January 31st, 2010 at 08:12 PM.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    110

    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    Thank you ladies for your replies!!

    I don't "advertise" but it just sort of comes up in conversation (when speaking to close friends or family). That is the "hiding" I think I need to start doing-- I have to make myself refrain from making those casual comments just to avoid hearing comments.
    My friends/family are not "asking questions" they are just saying general things like "well you need to stop nursing him anyway..." etc.

    I didn't mean to say I was NIPing (i have NOTHING against NIPing at any age) but I have not had any reason to-- the only people I occassionally nurse around are my parents, my sister & my sister in law.

    In the past month:
    My Mom: "Just give him milk"
    My Dad: "Cut him off!"
    My sis: "He's not a baby anymore!"
    My dear sis in law: "That is so sweet you still offer him! I forget that he's not even 2 yet"

    I wish they all had my sis in law's attitude. But she is not american & more open.

    For me, nursing is still a big part of my life and I guess I just wish it was okay to talk about it as casually as I discuss anything else in my life.


    THANK YOU for letting me talk about it!!!

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
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    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    When people started making negative comments, I was very straight forward with them. "I feel VERY strongly about nursing her for as long as she and I feel the need. Weaning will be decided between us." It seems to have shut down the comments because they know that I don't want to hear it.

    Amy will be 16 months old on Tuesday. We only nurse 3 - 4 times a day (bedtime, overnight, in the morning) but we're still nursing!
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!
    and

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    grays harbor
    Posts
    744

    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*emama View Post
    My LO is 31 months and I always talk about the fact that I'm still nursing. I kind of forget to shut up about it. Thankfully, no one has made mean or ignorant comments.

    I'm a little evangelical about it actually. I tell people about how kids' bodies are receptive to their mother's milk until they start to turn five and that it's basically like medicine for kids with special needs or kids with health issues (like my LO). I attribute the mildness of my daughter's condition to all the breast milk she has gotten and thankfully, people just seem interested more than judgmental. Maybe they judge me behind my back, I don't know - but I don't care either!
    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mama.mia View Post
    My twins turned three last November. They used to ask to nurse when we were out, but I guess I said no enough that now they just ask to "snuggle my nursin's" when they feel sad or tired.

    Most people assume they don't nurse anymore. But I don't hide it. I personally prefer not to NIP with the twins 'cause it's quite revealing and uncomfortable for me.

    I recently posted a third-birthday memoir of them on my blog and of course mentioned their nursing. My cousins and friends I think didn't realize they still nurse, but then somehow assumed that they were weaned.

    I love getting asked, "How long did your twins nurse?" 'Cause then I can say, "I'll let you know!"

    I will admit my brother teases me about still nursing, but it's all in fun. I just tease him back about his kid getting sick so often... Too bad he doesn't still nurse!

    I agree with lots of the pp: I don't hide it, but I don't announce it. I kind of wish more people would ask me about it, so I could spread the word
    about extended nursing more often.

    Quick story: A friend I hadn't seen in ten years came to visit. My twins were
    napping at the time. Her 18-month-old came over to her and I could tell by the way she was holding him that this was a nursing toddler. She asked if I minded if she nursed, which of course I didn't mind. Before that moment, neither of us realized we were both nursing "extended" nursers!!

    ETA: it is amazing to me how different nursing was from age 13 mo to 2 yrs, compared to age 2 to 3. The former was a lot more like nursing newborns in frequency and importance. The third year was much more about closeness and comfort, and knowing mommy is there. Not at all about the milk. We NIP all the time the second year, not so
    much the third year.

    GOOO MAMA's!!!!

    CAYLA
    Mama 2 Allie who Self-weaned @ 2 1/2
    Korben Jon born 07/25/2011*

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    8,018

    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*sleckey View Post
    And now at 23 months, nearing the 2 year mark, my immediate family has chimed in with comments too (I am lucky they have been so supportive this long!). But in the past week I've heard "he's not a baby any more" and "that's it, cut him off!" I don't even blame them for the comments, the people saying those things have never nursed a baby in their lives.
    I think you should do whatever makes life easiest for you. You have done a great thing and I understand wanting to make a statement and support bfing in public etc. (I feel the same way). But at the end of the day, if doing so is making up unhappy and adding stress to your life, I would do whatever makes you most comfortable. *I* would probably not hide the fact but not advertise it either in your situation.

    Of course, my lactivist side wants to slap these negative influences in your life upside the head! If my family were making comments like that, which some of them have (extended family), I usually don't get into a debate, but just say something like it is still very healthy for her and a good bonding experience, and I know it's not for everyone but it is working well for us (smiling, of course). If someone was rude as you've described, I would probably tell them that I did not ask for their opinion and ask if they have ever nursed in their lives, like I would really change what's best for me and my child based on rude comments from someone with no relevant experience or knowledge on the subject.
    You're doing a great thing, mama! Keep it up!

    ETA: To answer the question, no I do not hide it, but I don't make a point to bring it up especially with strangers or people I know are just going to be rude or negative.

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

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