Happy Mothers Breastfed Babies
Page 1 of 5 12345 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 47

Thread: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    110

    Default Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    I feel bad saying such a thing, but I think I need to start "hiding" the fact that I'm "still" nursing. Not that I'd ever deny it, but I think I may make a serious effort to never mention it again or do it in front of anyone again (which could subtley encourage weaning, I know).

    I don't feel embarrassed about it, but after all this time I am TIRED OF DEFENDING IT.

    When my son was a newborn I used to Nurse-In-Public at EVERY opportunity because I wanted to make it more of a Normal sight in my community and make it a little easier for the next round of new moms. :-)
    But now, with nursing a toddler, I feel like I really do need to keep it all hidden in a closet or something. It's a shame really, since I know all the facts and know I am doing something great for my son & I should be willing to defend it as needed, but I AM TIRED, all the time I am tired, and I am losing the strength to keep hearing the negative comments and brush them off. They do effect me, even if I don't react overtly.

    At 18 months I started getting so many comments at work that I stopped pumping so that I could stop hearing comments. Mind you, at that age I didnt need to be storing milk, I just wanted to keep my supply going. Not a big sacrifice, but also one I didn't really want to make yet!

    At 20 months I realized all my friends were looking at me really funny if I mad any mention of nursing at all.
    And when you nurse every single day, it's hard not to mention something at random, like "He nursed for 45 MINUTES this morning and I was late for work, what a crazy morning I had!" Just a normal vent but it immediately turns into "why don't you just STOP??"

    And now at 23 months, nearing the 2 year mark, my immediate family has chimed in with comments too (I am lucky they have been so supportive this long!). But in the past week I've heard "he's not a baby any more" and "that's it, cut him off!" I don't even blame them for the comments, the people saying those things have never nursed a baby in their lives.

    BUT I am tired of hearing it, and this leads me to want to start hiding nursing... which may end up tainting the experience.

    I guess I am a sap who maybe should actually stop nursing like my friends and family suggest, maybe I am holding onto it just beacuse I actually like it and am proud of it, not because he "needs" it.

    THanks for letting me type that all out!!!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    grays harbor
    Posts
    744

    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    my daughter turns 2 tmrw.. we are still nursing. No plan to stop.

    I dont hide it, if someone brings up breastfeeding i'll preach till theres no tmrw.. but i dont advertise it nor do i nip really anymore.. she can wait until we are home.. i just nurse her at home that way i dont have to hear the comments..

    unless shes like hurt then i'll nip!

    CAYLA
    Mama 2 Allie who Self-weaned @ 2 1/2
    Korben Jon born 07/25/2011*

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    3,319

    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    I didn't hide it, but I didn't advertise it either. I wasn't ashamed of it by any means, and I would gladly talk about it with people who wanted to ask questions, etc., but I was selective about who I talked about it with (as in not discussing it with people who had already indicated they wanted to debate it). Overall, it was pretty consistent with how I approached other things related to my son too--his dad and I decided what we felt was best, and did our thing. If people wanted to ask about it, that was ok, and if not, that was ok too.
    Last edited by @llli*mumtothomas; January 30th, 2010 at 11:22 PM.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Fantastical So Cal
    Posts
    415

    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    I don't hide it. People ask me how long I will breastfeed and I say as long as she wants. I have gotten some awkward chuckles about it, but nothing offensive. I know it's coming from those that have never been in my shoes. I'm that crazy mama that always talks about breastfeeding anyways so I think people are used to it by now.
    Courtney
    Ever 06.26.02
    Lyric 12.26.08 (Holy sheep! Nursing at 30 months and counting!)


    Breastmilk is better than any udder milk! ~Author Unknown

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    NW OH
    Posts
    3,473

    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mumtothomas View Post
    I didn't hide it, but I didn't advertise it either. I wasn't ashamed of it by any means, and I would gladly talk about it with people who wanted to ask questions, etc., but I was selective about who I talked about it with (as in not discussing it with people who had already indicated they wanted to debate it). Overall, it was pretty consistent with how I approached other things related to my son too--his dad and I decided what we felt was best, and did our thing. If people wanted to ask about it, that was ok, and if not, that was ok too.
    I took this approach as well.


    I'm Heather, SAHM to Cooper , born 1/2007
    and Bennett, our precious NICU grad born 8/2009
    and wife to Bill since 10/2003!
    We're young, but we know we can do it!
    Life with the Stevens-blog

    I'm an Ergo Baby Carrier affiliate!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    At the other end of the breast
    Posts
    292

    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    My son is about to turn 1. I know that's still early, but I heard the most ridiculous comment and I wanted to chime in on the thread. I was nursing him the other day and was told, "but he's so big and strong, why do you need to keep nursing him?" Ummmmmmmm, HOW DO THEY THINK HE GOT THIS WAY? Geesh. Big and strong somehow equals no longer needs what's best for him? I swear, sometimes people speak without putting any thought into their words whatsoever.

    Proud Vegetarian Momma

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    1,949

    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    My DD is just 10 months old, but I hope tp make it to where you are today! There are always ignorant people out there, from day 1 with my baby, who asked WHY nurse? For how long? When will you stop?? IT gets real old. But keep remembering as long as your baby is happy and you are too, you are doing the right thing.

    I love to read about people like yourself, who are nursing a toddler, it gives me hopes that I wil still be nursing DD when she is bigger. it is empowering to know there are so many strong moms out there to keep going no matter what others say!

    thanks!
    Mommy of 4,
    3 who I watch over, 1 who watches over all of us

    J- 8/20/05 pumped breastmilk for 11 months due to his cleft lip and palate!

    M- 10/17/07 my precious baby lives forever in her mommys heart

    M- 3/31/09 my special gift, she helps heal her mommy and daddys heart. Nursed for 4 years and 10 days, self weaned the day her baby brother was born!

    E-, new little miracle born 4/11/13, my BIG baby! Born 8.6 at 38 weeks. At 9 weeks nearly 17lbs, at 12 weeks nearly 20lbs, at 6 months nearly 23lbs, at 8 months nearly 25lbs and all from BREASTMILK


  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    FL
    Posts
    524

    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    I'm not where you are, but I hope that when T is 2 we are still nursing. I don't plan to hide it, and I plan to NIP if he wants to.

    I'm SO sorry you're having negative comments. That SUCKS. Keep going, keep being strong. You can do it. You're doing what's best for your child and for yourself. Don't ever forget that!

    T is 6 mo and I haven't gotten any comments like you have, but I get comments that I nurse him too frequently and that I should put him on a schedule . I've learned to let it just go in one ear and out the other. I say, "We do what works for us" and leave it at that. I'll change the subject (sometimes abruptly ) so the other person/people get the point to stop talking their nonsense.

    Breastfeeding my 4 year old

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    1,106

    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    i admit i started hiding it when ds2 got older but he was almost 4 when he weaned. i only hid it inpublic. my family and friends knew he was "still nursing" if people said something like "he still nurses?" i would just say "yes, why?" it confuses people be polite and put the question backon them i would spit out facts at people with ds1 but by the time we hit 3 yo with ds2 i realized that those people knew the facts and choose to ignore them so it was wasting my time to keep repeating it
    Michelle

    Wife to Donnie , my best friend
    Mom to Trenton 1/9/97, Dillan 11/22/01, Ashton 6/19/09

    All boys, weaned at 15 months, at home with Ashton

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Toronto, Canada
    Posts
    2,339

    Default Re: Do you hide the fact that you are still nursing?

    I don't hide it, we still NIP as needed but it's personally really important to me that I support other toddler nursing Mamas in a visible way. I've never had a single comment from a stranger, my family is all about AP and CLW so no probs there, and my IL's have learned to keep their comments to themselves.

    I think you should do what feels right to you mama. I think that most mamas who are still nursing at 18+ months just do it at home and don't talk about it much and that's okay.. But it makes me sad to think that people actively shy away from the discussion because our society is just so messed up when it comes to child-rearing.
    Jess

    Mama to my little Roxie Roo, 06/11/08


    April miles for TBTTW: 63

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •