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Thread: my child is taking forever to go to sleep

  1. #1
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    Default my child is taking forever to go to sleep

    Now that we're not nursing as much...only for naps and bedtime. I'm having trouble with him falling asleep while nursing. He'll nurse get out of bed, nurse....it's not so easy anymore. Some nights I'm trying to get him to bed for over an hour.....I liked when he quickly fell asleep while nursing. Anyone going through this and what do you have to do to get your child to go to sleep?

  2. #2
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    Default Re: my child is taking forever to go to sleep

    My son was also about 2.5 years when nursing down to sleep just stopped working most of the time. Oh, what a sad day it was, when I realized that Mom's Magic Bullet had lost its power! LOL

    That is when we tried and had some good success with a "reward system" to encourage DS to stay in his bed alone until he fell asleep. Basically, I made about 10 "tickets" that went under his pillow when I kissed him goodnight. Everytime he got out of bed after that, he had to give us one ticket. If he had any tickets left in the morning, he got a reward that he found motivating.

    What I liked about this system is that it encouraged him to learn to fall asleep in his bed alone (after, of course, a very loving and gentle bedtime routine), with no punitive measures or hard feelings on anyone's part. He learned very quickly that he could choose whether or not his need for another hug or a drink of water etc etc was worth one of those tickets. As he got better about staying in bed, we gradually reduced the number of tickets that he started out with, and he never seemed to mind that.

    Oh, and we are even now doing partial co-sleeping, in that DS nearly always is in our bed by morning. We just require him to begin the night by falling asleep in his own bed.

    Different families, of course, find different ways of adjusting to their child's needs around sleep. This is just one idea; I hope that others will chime in with their own.

    --Rebecca

  3. #3
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    Default Re: my child is taking forever to go to sleep

    Rebecca--that ticket idea is fantastic. I wish my little non-nursing-to-sleep 9 month old was old enough for that! That is something worthy of Supernanny or something!

    Erin
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  4. #4
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    Default Re: my child is taking forever to go to sleep

    I had one child that just needed to be heald down. Hes beter now that hes 5.
    He still has a hard time going to sleep.
    We have to start about 2 hours before I want them to be asleep. and do quiet things or else it takes him forever.
    Try bedtime rotine, that might help.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: my child is taking forever to go to sleep

    Quote Originally Posted by epbrown
    Rebecca--that ticket idea is fantastic. I wish my little non-nursing-to-sleep 9 month old was old enough for that! That is something worthy of Supernanny or something!
    Thanks, Erin. I read it in a book, I'm not exactly sure which one. Possibly Adele Faber's _How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk_.

    It wouldn't have worked much younger than 2.5 years for my son -- it requires a certain cognitive capacity (the ability to understand delayed gratification) that I think just doesn't develop until the 3rd year. So I feel for you with a 9mo who can't nurse to sleep!

    --Rebecca

  6. #6
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    Default Re: my child is taking forever to go to sleep

    I remember that age (about 2.5) as being a tricky time for us, too. Some nights it would take a long time. Routines can help, though ours was a bit out of the ordinary. After dinner, brush teeth, "night-night" games, then reading, then lying down with him until sleep. "Night-night" games are a long and varied series of rough and tumble play for the whole family. Hide and seek, pillow fight, run and jump on the bed, catch-me type games, throwing foam balls at each other, etc. We all play and get lots of laughs. For us I think it's a time for family connection through play, it gets the willies out and it helps them to settle -- really! Kind of crazy but it works for us. Now it takes just a few minutes of lying down for them to drift off.
    Mary

  7. #7
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    Default Re: my child is taking forever to go to sleep

    Quote Originally Posted by poofer3 View Post
    Now that we're not nursing as much...only for naps and bedtime. I'm having trouble with him falling asleep while nursing. He'll nurse get out of bed, nurse....it's not so easy anymore. Some nights I'm trying to get him to bed for over an hour.....I liked when he quickly fell asleep while nursing. Anyone going through this and what do you have to do to get your child to go to sleep?
    Oh yes we are having the same thing. My dd is 15mths old also not old enough for the tickets. I have a crib in dd's room along with a mattress one the floor. When she starts getting out of bed I pop her into the crib for about a minute. She got the picture after that she doesn't get out of bed anymore.

    Now I am nursing until she stop suckling and is just holding the nipple. Then I lay with her until she calms down(rubbing her back or stroking her hair; what ever works that day) then I get up and sit in the rocking chair until she falls a sleep.

    My next step will be to leave the room before she falls a sleep. I laid with her until she fell asleep for about a mounth before moving the chair. I am on week one of moving to the chair. The first time I made the move to the chair she fussed a me for about 5 minutes then settled down a fell a sleep.

    Before I started this process it was taking us an hour to go to bed and now it takes about a half hour; we even had one 15 minute night. Tonight took an hour, hopefully tomorrow will be better.

    I think ds is just letting you know that it is time for boundaries. The book "No cry sleep solution" is a great book. I hope my experience will help. Good luck, Sara
    Last edited by schhmom; October 1st, 2006 at 09:40 PM. Reason: add baby's age

  8. #8
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    Default Re: my child is taking forever to go to sleep

    I just want to add that we have used a process very much like what the pp described for about 1 month and it has worked really well! (DD is 13 months old) Some nights it takes longer than others, but more often than not lately I can just lay her in her crib after nursing, say goodnight, and leave with no fuss. Now, I'm sure this wouldn't work for everyone, but FYI my DD has always been strong-willed and stubborn. When we first started this process I would have to stay in her room with her for about 30 minutes+. So, this isn't only for the "easy" babies.

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

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